If you're a writer, you know the feeling. You get something down on paper (or "paper" if you're blogging), and you know it came out just the way you wanted it to. Here are some of my favorite posts from Scientific Nature of the Whammy.
Moments, Journeys, and Struggles
My Journey of Faith
This is a series of posts I wrote in 2008 documenting how I grew into my version of Christianity and was baptized in 2008 at 27 years old.
Now, We Fight
It has been nearly two months. I haven't written about it because it's not my story. Well, it is my story. But it's not.
"She has breast cancer."
I heard my sister say it. I still replied "What??" I heard it. I just didn't comprehend it....
30 - Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Woman
On Halloween, my best friend remarked that I've been looking forward to my 30th birthday for as long as she's known me.
I think it's true. Since high school, I've always been the young one of the crowds I've hung out with. Most of my best friends are a few years older than me, and I was never that enthralled with my 20s....
Pulling on the Past - Pieces I Left Behind: Part 3
Last night, I had an intensely emotional dream. The kind of dream where the feelings and the heartbreak stick with you long after waking and invade an otherwise perfectly pleasant day. Hours later, I feel so raw that tears are pooling in my eyes. And the subject matter and the fact that I feel so ridiculous that it could still have such an effect on me just make it hurt more....
I had forgotten how consuming it is. The hunger.
It has been almost a year since I stopped attending Weight Watchers meetings and counting points after I got pregnant. I ate whatever I wanted during my pregnancy - for the first 20 weeks that was almost nothing. Later, it was more, but not enough to cause problems....
I've been a little bit absent from blogging, I'm trying to get into a routine and I have about 10 posts composed partway in my head, I just haven't been able to find time yet to sit down and write them yet. This was not at all the first post I planned to write, there are several others in line ahead of it. BUT I was looking through my old blog entries regarding my weight loss journey today and came across one with measurements. Feeling curious, I decided to take measurements and see where I'm at. The results? I am almost crying looking at them....
Everything Changes, Everything Falls Apart
It's been a week since I got the text message. "Aaron just laid me off." I stared at my phone, and the only response I could muster was "WTF? Call when you can." Then all I could do was sit there and wait....
Pieces I Left Behind, Part 1
9 years later, I awake one morning to memories of the heartbreakingly real dream you just appeared in.
It's so mysterious to me the way the mind works. I am happy and have a wonderful life. Yet in my dreams and sometimes in waking I see ghosts and I know that somewhere out there, lives go on without me, pieces of my heart I left behind trailing unnoticed in their shadows....
I Am Haunted
I am haunted. I've found in my life that when a big life change happens, ghosts from my past - of the way things used to be, of people I used to know and things I used to do - well up from inside me to haunt my thoughts. It makes adjustment hard for me. When I move, I tend to be followed by these thoughts almost to the point of being obsessed....
A Perfect Moment
My Mom got married on Saturday, to a wonderful man who makes her really happy. The wedding was great, they were married at a lake northeast of where we live, the actual wedding was in a meadow, framed on one side by trees and the other side by a lake and tree covered mountains....
Kids and Motherhood
Dr. Google, Parenting, and Knowing When to Worry
Yesterday during bath time, I noticed something interesting. Sam has
started whisper repeating the last word/few words of his speech.
Basically, if he says "The monster is coming," it is immediately
followed by "is coming, is coming" whispered, or "coming."
Today, he was still doing it....
How I had a Baby in my Bathroom OR "HeymomI'mcomingRIGHT NOW"
was my due date with little Danny, and it came and went. I was hoping
for a baby for Mother's Day and was disappointed when he didn't show and
I didn't feel any signs that he was coming....
Sam's Birth Story
How could I have a month of birth and
birthday posts and stories without sharing the birth story of my first
baby?! Here is Sam's birth story- written the day he was born. I can't
believe it's been 4 years, and that this is no longer the only birth
story I have!
According to my dad, only 2% of babies
actually arrive on their due dates. But are you really surprised that
mine did? I guess he takes after his Mama and likes things to happen on
Suddenly, You're Four
Although it's a little unusual for a kid your age, you
ride a bus to preschool. Every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we drive
down to the bottom of the driveway (maybe once Danny's here we'll walk
together instead) and wait for your bus. Back in November, when you
first started school, you were very excited about the bus...
The One About My Boobs
Now that I'm 9 months pregnant and people are starting to look surprised
when I tell them there are almost 3 more weeks before this baby is due,
the inevitable question also comes up. Are you going to nurse?
Despite the fact that people usually act casual when they ask, it's a loaded question....
Volunteering with DV/SA Survivors
He Went to Smoke and Never Came Back
It is odd being in the emergency room. I always brace myself before I
enter the room, because I never know what I'll find. Sometimes, I get
some back story from a nurse or a police officer before I go in,
sometimes I just get a name and room number....
I can never listen to the radio as I drive to the emergency room.
rush to get ready. When I was pregnant, I would pack crackers and water
to take with me. Now, I just grab my binder and my wallet and keys. I
try to remember to eat something on the way, because I could be there
for up to four hours....
The First Time
It is 3:58 am on a Sunday morning when I get my first call from the ER. With a name on a piece of paper, I drive.
The road is dark, and there is no sign of summer's warmth. I feel nervous, but determined. I turn off the music and I pray....
In the twilight, I stop outside the front door. I focus in on the
flowers, purple clusters cloaked in dusk. I try to quiet my thoughts,
let the petals remind me that the world is full of beauty.
hours this week I've sat in a room with 25 other people. We listen.
We watch. We learn. We speak. After reading stories of unspeakable
things, we cry. We admit how much it hurts to imagine that people can
do such things. I choke up explaining that my heart hurts because it
affects the survivors, but also creates a world in which women are
Writing and Poetry
Home, Not Home
The unbearably hot day has faded into perfection. As the sky dims, it is
perfect for sandals and tank tops and the humidity has given way to a
Neighbors, two houses, three families, so different, come together into one big family....
like a cancer
How did the night
with a bang, your
I allow myself to wander
then become lost
in the soft, steady knock of
on roof and windows....
Books and Movies
50 Shades of Grey
If you haven't heard of Fifty Shades of Grey yet, you may be living under a rock. I first heard about this book several months ago. It's a breakout hit from a new author who originally conceived the story as Twilight fanfiction, and it's become seriously popular with women all over the world. It came up for discussion as a choice for my book club, and we'll be discussing it at our May meeting this weekend. It's an easy read, I finished it in probably five hours or less, and read the entire first half in one sitting. Here are my thoughts on what's become the most talked about book of 2012.
The Panic Virus
Autism has become a fairly hot topic in the past few years, and I've
been interested in the subject for quite a while. I've read a couple of
books previously about the subject, including Jenny McCarthy's book "Louder than Words."
Despite McCarthy's 'mother's instinct' and conviction that vaccines
caused her son's autism, and that she was able to cure him through diet
and therapy, I finished the book believing neither. I ran across "The Panic Virus: A True Story of Medicine, Science and Fear" by Seth Mnookin at the library when I was looking for a new audio book to read, and it sounded right up my alley....
The Social Network: Fact, Fiction and Facebook
Justin and I went and saw The Social Network on Sunday night. I've been
waiting for it to come out, and had it on my list of the top 13 movies I wanted to see this fall. In case you've been under a rock, the movie is the story of Mark Zuckerberg and how Facebook was created....
A Thousand Splendid Suns
The first book I finished this year was "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by
Khaled Hosseini. We read Hosseini's first book, "The Kite Runner," as a
book club selection last year. I thought it was okay, but didn't love
it. I had heard for a long time that his second book surpassed the
first, but was afraid to read it for a long time....
Torture Porn: That's My Line, and I'm Stickin' To It
My husband and I went and saw "The Final Destination" when it came out.
It was hokey and silly and unrealistic and entertaining, though I am
slightly surprised that it didn't go straight to DVD honestly. If not
for the ability to show the movie at so many theaters in 3-D, I wondered
if it would have gone to theaters at all.
When the movie was over, my husband reopened this can-of-worms
discussion we've had going on for a while. You see, I refuse to see
movies like the Saw movies and Hostel, movies that some critics refer to
as "torture porn."
Birthing is Business?
Last week, I picked up "The Business of Being Born"
from the library. It's a documentary made by Ricki Lake and Abby
Epstein about birth in the United States. I'm very interested in the
topic, and lately have been reading and looking on the internet. No, I'm
not pregnant, and it's actually possible that I won't be pregnant
again. But I feel that after my own birth experience, I became even more
interested in other women's experiences and what birth can be....
Just for Laughs
10 Things That are Just NOT Okay
Every so often, I come across something in my day that just makes me
shiver with how NOT okay it is. It's something that I can't necessarily
DO anything about, but that I object to actually existing in the first
place. You know you have those moments too, where you sort of want to
punch the face of this thing you dislike, but unfortunately it's
impossible because it's not tangible. So, here's my list of 10 things
that will just never be okay with me....