Favorite Posts

If you're a writer, you know the feeling.  You get something down on paper (or "paper" if you're blogging), and you know it came out just the way you wanted it to.  Here are some of my favorite posts from Scientific Nature of the Whammy.

Moments, Journeys, and Struggles

My Journey of Faith
July-August 2008

This is a series of posts I wrote in 2008 documenting how I grew into my version of Christianity and was baptized in 2008 at 27 years old.

Now, We Fight
October 2011

It has been nearly two months.  I haven't written about it because it's not my story.  Well, it is my story.  But it's not.

"She has breast cancer."

I heard my sister say it.  I still replied "What??"  I heard it.  I just didn't comprehend it....

30 - Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Woman
November 2010

On Halloween, my best friend remarked that I've been looking forward to my 30th birthday for as long as she's known me.

I think it's true. Since high school, I've always been the young one of the crowds I've hung out with. Most of my best friends are a few years older than me, and I was never that enthralled with my 20s....

Pulling on the Past - Pieces I Left Behind: Part 3
September 2010

Last night, I had an intensely emotional dream. The kind of dream where the feelings and the heartbreak stick with you long after waking and invade an otherwise perfectly pleasant day. Hours later, I feel so raw that tears are pooling in my eyes. And the subject matter and the fact that I feel so ridiculous that it could still have such an effect on me just make it hurt more....

The Hunger
August 2010

I had forgotten how consuming it is. The hunger.

It has been almost a year since I stopped attending Weight Watchers meetings and counting points after I got pregnant. I ate whatever I wanted during my pregnancy - for the first 20 weeks that was almost nothing. Later, it was more, but not enough to cause problems....

The Weight
June 2010

I've been a little bit absent from blogging, I'm trying to get into a routine and I have about 10 posts composed partway in my head, I just haven't been able to find time yet to sit down and write them yet. This was not at all the first post I planned to write, there are several others in line ahead of it. BUT I was looking through my old blog entries regarding my weight loss journey today and came across one with measurements. Feeling curious, I decided to take measurements and see where I'm at. The results? I am almost crying looking at them....

Everything Changes, Everything Falls Apart
March 2010

It's been a week since I got the text message. "Aaron just laid me off." I stared at my phone, and the only response I could muster was "WTF? Call when you can." Then all I could do was sit there and wait....

Pieces I Left Behind, Part 1
November 2009

9 years later, I awake one morning to memories of the heartbreakingly real dream you just appeared in.

It's so mysterious to me the way the mind works. I am happy and have a wonderful life. Yet in my dreams and sometimes in waking I see ghosts and I know that somewhere out there, lives go on without me, pieces of my heart I left behind trailing unnoticed in their shadows....

I Am Haunted
June 2008

I am haunted. I've found in my life that when a big life change happens, ghosts from my past - of the way things used to be, of people I used to know and things I used to do - well up from inside me to haunt my thoughts. It makes adjustment hard for me. When I move, I tend to be followed by these thoughts almost to the point of being obsessed....

A Perfect Moment
June 2008

My Mom got married on Saturday, to a wonderful man who makes her really happy. The wedding was great, they were married at a lake northeast of where we live, the actual wedding was in a meadow, framed on one side by trees and the other side by a lake and tree covered mountains....

Kids and Motherhood

Dr. Google, Parenting, and Knowing When to Worry
April 2011

Yesterday during bath time, I noticed something interesting. Sam has started whisper repeating the last word/few words of his speech. Basically, if he says "The monster is coming," it is immediately followed by "is coming, is coming" whispered, or "coming."

Today, he was still doing it....
How I had a Baby in my Bathroom OR "HeymomI'mcomingRIGHT NOW"
May 2010

Sunday was my due date with little Danny, and it came and went. I was hoping for a baby for Mother's Day and was disappointed when he didn't show and I didn't feel any signs that he was coming....

Sam's Birth Story
May 2010

How could I have a month of birth and birthday posts and stories without sharing the birth story of my first baby?! Here is Sam's birth story- written the day he was born. I can't believe it's been 4 years, and that this is no longer the only birth story I have!

According to my dad, only 2% of babies actually arrive on their due dates. But are you really surprised that mine did? I guess he takes after his Mama and likes things to happen on time!

Suddenly, You're Four
April 2010

Dear Sam,

Although it's a little unusual for a kid your age, you ride a bus to preschool. Every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we drive down to the bottom of the driveway (maybe once Danny's here we'll walk together instead) and wait for your bus. Back in November, when you first started school, you were very excited about the bus...

The One About My Boobs
April 2010

Now that I'm 9 months pregnant and people are starting to look surprised when I tell them there are almost 3 more weeks before this baby is due, the inevitable question also comes up. Are you going to nurse?

Despite the fact that people usually act casual when they ask, it's a loaded question....

Volunteering with DV/SA Survivors

He Went to Smoke and Never Came Back
March 2011

It is odd being in the emergency room. I always brace myself before I enter the room, because I never know what I'll find. Sometimes, I get some back story from a nurse or a police officer before I go in, sometimes I just get a name and room number....

Unexpected Memories
September 2010

I can never listen to the radio as I drive to the emergency room.

I rush to get ready. When I was pregnant, I would pack crackers and water to take with me. Now, I just grab my binder and my wallet and keys. I try to remember to eat something on the way, because I could be there for up to four hours....

The First Time
August 2009

It is 3:58 am on a Sunday morning when I get my first call from the ER. With a name on a piece of paper, I drive.

The road is dark, and there is no sign of summer's warmth. I feel nervous, but determined. I turn off the music and I pray....

The Call
June 2009

In the twilight, I stop outside the front door. I focus in on the flowers, purple clusters cloaked in dusk. I try to quiet my thoughts, let the petals remind me that the world is full of beauty.

For 19 hours this week I've sat in a room with 25 other people. We listen. We watch. We learn. We speak. After reading stories of unspeakable things, we cry. We admit how much it hurts to imagine that people can do such things. I choke up explaining that my heart hurts because it affects the survivors, but also creates a world in which women are frightened....

Writing and Poetry

Home, Not Home
July 2011

The unbearably hot day has faded into perfection. As the sky dims, it is perfect for sandals and tank tops and the humidity has given way to a pleasant breeze.

Neighbors, two houses, three families, so different, come together into one big family....

April 2011

Night falls,
overtaking day
like a cancer
How did the night
fall when
you fell
with a bang, your
head fell

A Moment
March 2009

I allow myself to wander
then become lost
in the soft, steady knock of
on roof and windows....

Books and Movies

50 Shades of Grey
May 2012

If you haven't heard of Fifty Shades of Grey yet, you may be living under a rock.  I first heard about this book several months ago.  It's a breakout hit from a new author who originally conceived the story as Twilight fanfiction, and it's become seriously popular with women all over the world.  It came up for discussion as a choice for my book club, and we'll be discussing it at our May meeting this weekend.  It's an easy read, I finished it in probably five hours or less, and read the entire first half in one sitting.  Here are my thoughts on what's become the most talked about book of 2012.

The Panic Virus
September 2011

Autism has become a fairly hot topic in the past few years, and I've been interested in the subject for quite a while.  I've read a couple of books previously about the subject, including Jenny McCarthy's book "Louder than Words."  Despite McCarthy's 'mother's instinct' and conviction that vaccines caused her son's autism, and that she was able to cure him through diet and therapy, I finished the book believing neither.  I ran across "The Panic Virus: A True Story of Medicine, Science and Fear" by Seth Mnookin at the library when I was looking for a new audio book to read, and it sounded right up my alley....

The Social Network: Fact, Fiction and Facebook
October 2010

Justin and I went and saw The Social Network on Sunday night. I've been waiting for it to come out, and had it on my list of the top 13 movies I wanted to see this fall. In case you've been under a rock, the movie is the story of Mark Zuckerberg and how Facebook was created....

A Thousand Splendid Suns
February 2010

The first book I finished this year was "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. We read Hosseini's first book, "The Kite Runner," as a book club selection last year. I thought it was okay, but didn't love it. I had heard for a long time that his second book surpassed the first, but was afraid to read it for a long time....

Torture Porn: That's My Line, and I'm Stickin' To It
February 2010

My husband and I went and saw "The Final Destination" when it came out. It was hokey and silly and unrealistic and entertaining, though I am slightly surprised that it didn't go straight to DVD honestly. If not for the ability to show the movie at so many theaters in 3-D, I wondered if it would have gone to theaters at all.

When the movie was over, my husband reopened this can-of-worms discussion we've had going on for a while. You see, I refuse to see movies like the Saw movies and Hostel, movies that some critics refer to as "torture porn."

Birthing is Business?
May 2009

Last week, I picked up "The Business of Being Born" from the library. It's a documentary made by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein about birth in the United States. I'm very interested in the topic, and lately have been reading and looking on the internet. No, I'm not pregnant, and it's actually possible that I won't be pregnant again. But I feel that after my own birth experience, I became even more interested in other women's experiences and what birth can be....

Just for Laughs

10 Things That are Just NOT Okay
July 2010

Every so often, I come across something in my day that just makes me shiver with how NOT okay it is. It's something that I can't necessarily DO anything about, but that I object to actually existing in the first place. You know you have those moments too, where you sort of want to punch the face of this thing you dislike, but unfortunately it's impossible because it's not tangible. So, here's my list of 10 things that will just never be okay with me....

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