November 4, 2013

NaBloPoMo Day 4: Dear Sam

Dear Sam,

Once again, my birthday letter to you is a tad late.  Well, let's look on the bright side, it's just six months and not a full year.  This year has been a little bit tough and I was really sick earlier this year.  I don't know how much you understood about it, or if I just seemed tired and not available.  It was a rough time, and it kind of just passed by us.

So here we are now, and you are seven and a half.  Seven.  It is hard for me to believe that you've somehow been here with me for seven years, which is close to eight, which seems just a step away from 10.  How is it possible?

You are in 2nd grade this year, and you like school.  I am so proud of the strides you have made since preschool and Kindergarten, but I also worry about you.  Well, that's kind of my job as a Mom.  But in the process we've been going through this year of getting your IEP renewed and in place, I have come to understand that going to school every day and keeping up with the other kids takes more out of you than it does out of other kids.  You get tired, mentally and physically, and it's hard for me to be working full time when I wish I could be spending more time with you and your brother so you could rest more and have time in the evenings instead of getting home at 6:30 and heading straight into dinner and bedtime.  It's hard.

The truth is, this year has been challenging for us!  We have been dealing with some medical issues for both of us, and new things have come up with your feet and your eyes and you have been to the doctor more than once a month for one thing or another.  I don't always think you know outright that life is stressful or that there are things that are challenging for you, but I think that you feel it in your body and your heart.  I often feel like I wish I could do more for you, somehow make life easier.  I just have to hope that somehow everything that happens now will build you up somehow as you grow up.  You see a counselor now, and I call her the talking doctor.  I hope that she will help you discover your emotions and how to embrace them, and help us communicate with each other.

You love to read, and this year I've read the first 3 Harry Potter books to you, and we're in the middle of book 4, The Goblet of Fire.  You got all of the Captain Underpants books for your birthday and you like Bad Kitty and still like the Magic Treehouse books too.  You are one smart cookie, you sometimes pull things out of nowhere that I had no idea you even know!  The other day you asked me about division and I helped you work out a few simple division problems, and I couldn't believe that you're already able to do that kind of math!

I love this age you're at sometimes, it's so great to be able to have a conversation.  It doesn't happen very often, but when I get the chance to take you out by myself without Danny, just the two of us, I have such a good time.  It's so nice to just take you along, to not worry about taking care of you like I have to do with Danny, but to just hang out with you and have fun.  We can walk together and talk about real things instead of toddler things, and it's pretty awesome.

You're old enough to hang out with me, but still young enough that you like holding my hand in public when we walk together.  When we put you to bed at night, we still lie down next to you and put our arm around you to help you fall asleep.  You are a cuddly boy and touch makes you feel secure.  Even though I fall asleep in your bed half the nights then don't get anything done, part of me still likes that time together and being so close to you.

We had your birthday party this year at Jungle Playland and you invited kids from your class, friends from Seattle, and a friend from preschool who you only see once or twice a year, but always think of when it comes to your birthday invites.  You had a great time!  You're way into Minecraft, so you decided you wanted a creeper cake, and we made that happen.

You are a sweet, goofy little boy.  You love to laugh and joke and you try to tell jokes, but you don't always get the punchline right.  When you do, though, it's delightful.  You are a good little person.  You are kind, and sweet.  Sometimes, you have a hard time, but who doesn't, really?  Sometimes I see that you are so much like me - that you get frustrated easily and get upset when you think someone isn't listening to you.  You're sensitive too, and I hope you don't lose that.  It can be hard sometimes, but your heart is big and I hope it stays big and open forever.

Watching you grow never really stops being amazing.  I see your past, and can't believe how quickly it's gone by.  I look forward to your future and can't wait to continue to see who you're going to become and what you're going to do in this world.



Favorite Book:  Harry Potter
Favorite Movie:  Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2
Favorite Song:  Firework by Katy Perry & What Does the Fox Say by Ylvis
Favorite Board Game:  Battleship
Favorite Video Game:  Lego Lord of the Rings and Pikmin 3
Favorite TV Show:  Mostly YouTube game videos
Favorite Food:  Pizza, Mac & Cheese, Chicken Nuggets, Waffles
Favorite Dessert:  Donuts, M&Ms
Favorite Thing to Do Outside the House:  Playground, Go to Rocket Donuts
Best Friend:  Drake, Aiden
Favorite Subject at School:  Computer Lab
NaBloPoMo November 2013

1 comment:

Rachael Heiner said...

Wow, I totally 'get it' everyone seems so much busier these days, yet there's a yearning to express what matters in our lives. Don't give up, your voice is important and may touch someone's life in a profound way.