Well, it's my birthday. If you'd sat down with me five years ago and told me that this is what my life would be like on my 33rd birthday, I definitely would not have believed you. But here I am.
I'm not one of those people who worries about getting older. In fact, if you ask my best friend, she'll tell you how weird I am because I basically spent the last half of my twenties waiting to turn 30. I just wanted to be out of my twenties. All of my friends who were at the same stage of life as me were 5 years older, and I felt like when people found out how old I was they just thought of me as young, and I didn't really want to be anymore. Now that I'm in my thirties, sometimes I have to think about it when people ask how old I am because I just know I'm thirty something!
I like it here. I don't think I'll ever be at an age again where I don't like it. I don't mind growing older, and I'm not one of those people that will 'turn 29' repeatedly or hide my age. I look at my mother, who is now 54, and she is beautiful and young and one of my best friends. Why WOULDN'T I want to be in my fifties someday? Grey hair and wrinkles tell the story of who we are, and what made us into the person we will become.
I am in Seattle for the weekend, celebrating with friends as I do every year. We go out to dinner and usually a movie (Catching Fire, here I come!!!) and I spend time with some of my favorite people. This weekend is something I look forward to all year, and it's special to me. Then, this week, we will take the long drive over the mountains to Colville to spend Thanksgiving on the farm with Brent, Kira, and Nora as well as my Dad and little sis Lianna who are visiting from the East Coast. I can't wait, I haven't seen them in nearly two years. My Mom and Paul will also be there, and I can't wait to relax and just be surrounded by my family. Oh, and for my Mom's pecan pie.
The last couple of years have been really, really hard in so many aspects, some of which I've written about, and a lot of which I haven't. They are still hard. I'm going to counseling now, and I love the woman I'm seeing, and I'm confident that next year will finally be the year that things start to REALLY get better for me and my family. I'm excited for that, and I really hope that by next birthday when I turn 34, I will be in a different place than I am now.
For now, it's enough to be surrounded this week and weekend by some of the most important people in my life, and to celebrate that they are a part of it.