August 19, 2012

Incredible Life

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My life continues to be incredible.  I am having a hard time reconciling the fact that there are so many good things I'm feeling and so many bad things and so much disappointment all at once.  I am still looking for a job, and it's incredibly frustrating to say the least.  I can't move forward with anything else in my life really until I get one, so there is this holding pattern that is pretty annoying.  I have had a few interviews that I've thought went well only to be turned down or not contacted yet again.  I try not to get my hopes up, but I really need something, and every time I read a job description that seems perfect I just want it so badly.

I am super exhausted, though I will have some much needed time off this week.  Having the kids with me 90% of the time is just exhausting, and I usually end up staying up too late at night doing who knows what, job searching, Facebook, and whatever other distractions I find.  We are still struggling a lot every day with Sam's encopresis, and it's slow going and hard work and fighting and tears.  My spirit is getting a little bit of nourishment from my work with birth-related things and photography, but at the same time it feels frayed and worn down and a little flat.

Three weeks ago, I wrote about how one of my long-time dreams is coming true as I prepare to fly to Dallas to be trained as a Birth Boot Camp Instructor.

Since then I've managed to raise, earn, and scrounge enough money together to cover over 1/2 of my costs.  I got $120 in donations from three very generous people who I appreciate very much.  I had a garage sale and made $100.  I sold some old jewelry I had around for a significant chunk, and I photographed my first wedding - a friend who paid me a couple hundred bucks.  It is all slowly but surely coming together.  BUT, I still need to raise $800, $500 for the hotel (it will be a bit less, but I want to be safe) and $300 to pay the rest of my course tuition.  So, I'm going to put up the donate button again with some of the original text I posted the first time, because I need this.  I will try to start posting more often soon, when Sam is back in school and my life is becoming more regular that will be easier.

So, I've decided that just this once, I am going to flat out ask.  I'm trusting the universe here, and relying on the kindness and generosity of my family, my friends, and of any generous strangers that may happen to be out there.  I'm putting my pride aside because this is more important to me than almost anything I've ever done before.  And I'm hoping and praying and trusting that I will find a way to make this happen.

This is a button.  You can use it to donate if you feel like you want to.  It's directly connected to my paypal account and you can use paypal or a card.  Select 'gift' as the reason for sending money.

Some people will think this is completely tactless or inappropriate.  Maybe it is.  That's fine.  I'm okay with whatever people think.  If you don't like it, just ignore it.  I am just as happy to receive well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts.  But for once in my life, I am not going to feel embarrassed reaching out to people who may be kind and want to help me do something.  If When I reach my goal, I'll remove it.  Every penny I get will be put towards the cost of the workshop, airfare, hotel and my reading materials.  If you feel inclined to share this, I'd appreciate it.  If you sort of want to punch me right now, then please just move on and try to forget this ever happened.

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