In the last several months, my life has changed fairly dramatically.
There is no easy way to say this. Justin and I are getting a divorce. Everything behind it has just been A LOT. This is the thing I couldn't talk about before. Nothing official as far as paperwork has been done, but we have been living apart for a little while. It seems to go without saying that the whole thing has been really hard, but it's the best thing for us and our family.
Since we've been apart, I have been looking more seriously for a job, and considering full time work instead of just part time. This has also been a real challenge, and I have not found one yet. It's a little frustrating. But I'm chugging along.
During this time, I also started a project which began as a little blog and has since morphed into a big website that I am working on a lot and totally in love with.
I am very, very excited about it and am hoping to develop a comprehensive resource for my community. I have tons of ideas about networking and things that I am working on and brainstorming about.
During this time, I have been reconnecting with old friends and connecting with new friends. I met a woman in my mom's group who is also passionate about birth and we talked about the website and other things. I told her that someday, I want to become a birth educator. Lately, I have found myself telling that to several people with the caveat someday, eventually, when I'm able.
Last weekend, I was looking at the website for Birth Boot Camp (again). Birth Boot Camp is a new childbirth education class that was developed this year and focuses on natural birth and breastfeeding education. It's not widespread yet because it's new, and they are putting on workshops every few months to educate new instructors. On a whim, I decided to apply. When I looked at it a few months ago, the fact that it was in Dallas and the cost of the workshop seemed insurmountable. When I looked at it last week I started to think... well, I could probably raise the money... right?
I GOT ACCEPTED.
I wish I even had the words to describe how I feel about this. It's a dream for me. I am taking this chance and following my heart and my passion. I will still need to get another job, but this is my focus for the moment, and I am excited and feel blessed that I will get to follow my dreams and not wait for "someday."
But... there's a catch. The thing is that right now, I don't actually have the money for the full cost of the workshop, plane tickets, hotel and materials. The total is going to be around $1700. I am doing a garage sale tomorrow, and I have a few other ideas, but I need help.
Like most people, I don't like asking for help. I like asking for financial help even less. It just seems so... tacky? Personal? Weak? I don't know. The thing is, right now, asking could be the difference between doing what I really, really want to in life and... well, not doing it.
So, I've decided that just this once, I am going to flat out ask. I'm trusting the universe here, and relying on the kindness and generosity of my family, my friends, and of any generous strangers that may happen to be out there. I'm putting my pride aside because this is more important to me than almost anything I've ever done before. And I'm hoping and praying and trusting that I will find a way to make this happen.
This is a button. You can use it to donate if you feel like you want to. It's directly connected to my paypal account and you can use paypal or a card. Select 'gift' as the reason for sending money.
Some people will think this is completely tactless or inappropriate. Maybe it is. That's fine. I'm okay with whatever people think. If you don't like it, just ignore it. I am just as happy to receive well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts. But for once in my life, I am not going to feel embarrassed reaching out to people who may be kind and want to help me do something.
This year, everything in my life is changing. Instead of just going about my business waiting for my life to be the life I want, I am going to find it. I'm going to find it, and grab it, and hold on for dear life and see where it takes me.