"Thank you for your interest in the position of Customer Service and Sales Representative, Bellingham Call Center, US/WA/Bellingham WA-12004660. Thank you for taking the time to complete the assessment for this job. Unfortunately, your skills and qualifications did not match the requirements for this particular position. You may reapply for this position after 6 months have passed. Please keep in mind that you may still be considered for any other opportunities for which you have applied."Wait... what? I am smart. I have a college degree and years of work experience, including over a year of call center experience. I have worked in customer service and retail, have great organizational and technical skills, and am a good worker. This job is not rocket science. This is the kind of job that I could do without any problems - in fact, I have done this exact job before. Twice. Not only that, but for the customer service part of the test, I know what answers they don't want to hear, and which ones they do. So WHY CAN'T I GET A JOB?
I recently applied for four other jobs. One was for a new Torrid store opening in the mall. I guess I am big enough, but not sassy enough? One was for Lane Bryant, and I have NO IDEA why I didn't even get an interview for that one since I have open availability, she said she was looking for someone mostly for morning/afternoon, which was my preference, AND she told me that she hadn't been getting as much response as usual, which should have narrowed the field. One was for a new Teavana store opening in the mall. The last one was for a receptionist/administrative job in which the guy who interviewed me told me that he had never had someone give the exact response he would have given to one of the questions.
I totally get that there are a lot of unemployed people right now. I get that for some of these jobs, I am overqualified. But I WANT a part time job without a ton of responsibility. If I applied for the job, it means that I actually want the job, even if it's not as complicated or doesn't pay as much as what I was making before.
I am extremely frustrated that I cannot get a job and help support my family. Yes, it would mean giving things up. I am at the point now where I am willing to spend a little less time with them to make things easier and smoother for the whole family. I am finally at the point where the idea of spending a little bit of my 'kid time' with other grown ups in a work place sounds good. But I have applied for probably 30 jobs on Craig's List and interviewed for three now, and no go.
If I had what I wanted, I would get a job working from home. If it was my dream world, that job would be writing. I had a job for a while doing some ghostwriting online, and it was great. I emailed the woman I worked for to ask if she has any work and didn't get a response. What am I supposed to do? I feel like at this rate, I'll never be able to work again.
After seeing my post on Facebook about all of this, my Mom emailed me a Craig's List ad for a photographer's assistant. The description said they only need someone with a digital camera and a hot shoe flash, and some preference in Photoshop/Lightroom is preferable. I already had the ad open on my computer, but was waffling about whether to respond to it because I don't have any experience and have a lot to learn. In the email, my Mom said this:
I think you need to find something to do that will bring you joy and that you can be enthusiastic about. I think sometimes what we think we want doesn’t come because we don’t really want it and somehow, we unconsciously project that. Do you really WANT to work at T-Mobile or the mall? I believe your happiness lies in doing something creative. You actually crave that in your life. I look at all of the things you do when you CHOOSE based on what YOU want and they are all creative endeavors. You have the right to decide what you want to do with your time. You have the right to create a life that will fulfill you.Well... that's true. I do NOT really want to work at any of those jobs I didn't get. Honestly, I'm not one to really believe in 'the universe does things for a reason' for the most part. Or all of that stuff it says in The Secret. But I have also had jobs that were not fulfilling to me, and it sucks. I am still feeling panicky about our financial situation, but I'm trying to expand my search as wide as I can. Yesterday I found a bunch of freelance writing jobs and sent emails about them. I emailed the woman I used to ghostwrite articles for, and she says she has a few articles for me. It may not be much, but it's a start.
In my head, I imagine my future and I dream about what I could do with my life. Right now it's hard because money is tight and the kids are so young, but I have to believe that I will end up someday doing things I am really passionate about. In the meantime, I feel slightly better. I mean, how could I not feel better when I have such an awesome Mom, and am surrounded by friends who really believe in me?