May 8, 2012

Mommy Burnout

This week, I am struggling.  After being alone with the kids all last week while Justin was in Mexico on his mission trip and not getting a break over the weekend, I am feeling totally burned out.  It was hard to be without a second parent, and combined with the emotional aftermath of a great visit with my stepmom & sister, I am just exhausted.  

I hate feeling this way, I am tired and on the verge of breaking down, and I really don't feel like playing with my kids.  How awful.  And yet, here I am.  I keep going because I have no choice, but I admit that right now Sam is watching TV and Danny is passed out on the couch.  I need a vacation.  In fantasyland, I have a week to myself, to do whatever I want without thinking about anyone else.  To take care of my needs instead of theirs.  To stay up late and sleep all through the night, restfully, until I decide to get up.  In reality, when is that EVER going to happen for most Moms?

I know they're just feelings, and that I take good care of my kids.  But that doesn't stop that little part of my mind telling me right now that I'm failing.  I know it will get better eventually, it always does.  I think I should be able to keep giving, but today I just feel like there is nothing left to give.  

So, that's that... for today.


Downwardtrenz said...

Hugs. Every mother has been there.

Ediehope said...

This is why God created all kinds of viewing screens.