I hate feeling this way, I am tired and on the verge of breaking down, and I really don't feel like playing with my kids. How awful. And yet, here I am. I keep going because I have no choice, but I admit that right now Sam is watching TV and Danny is passed out on the couch. I need a vacation. In fantasyland, I have a week to myself, to do whatever I want without thinking about anyone else. To take care of my needs instead of theirs. To stay up late and sleep all through the night, restfully, until I decide to get up. In reality, when is that EVER going to happen for most Moms?
I know they're just feelings, and that I take good care of my kids. But that doesn't stop that little part of my mind telling me right now that I'm failing. I know it will get better eventually, it always does. I think I should be able to keep giving, but today I just feel like there is nothing left to give.
So, that's that... for today.