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We met and became instant friends. We played in the woods, making up complicated new lives and personalities that were ours alone. I admired the toe shoes that hung in your bedroom. We would eat rye toast with butter as an after school snack, there were not many sweets in your house. We picked blackberries and sung duets.
We once laughed ourselves to tears in the back of the classroom when I asked "what do they call a trombone player anyways, a tromboner?" You probably didn't know that I was in love with you. We went on a date once, at least it was to me. You probably didn't know that afterwards, I dedicated a song to you on the radio. I cried the night of high school graduation at the thought that I would probably never see you again.
We watched Remington Steele and Mission Impossible and ate egg sandwiches on our lunch break. My first job was with you. We danced under a streetlight at midnight as fluffy snowflakes piled up around us. We would ride the bus to the mall and watch movies on the weekends. I was with you when I dyed my hair for the first time.
We worked so well as a team, the highs were high and the lows were really painful. We would laugh until our mouths were frozen in silent guffaws, and more than once I'm sure I cried over fights we had. You refused to talk about what music you liked because people take their music too personally. Once you hung an awful poster with a photos of a fig that looked like genitalia because you knew I hate most Georgia O'Keefe paintings. We got drunk one night after work with our friends, and leaned on each other as we walked to the car. In the back seat, we held hands.
We used to walk to the comic book store on weekends. Once we each ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's while we watched the original La Femme Nikita. I tried pot for the first time with you. I was always jealous of your boyfriends, and at one point I developed a big crush on your brother.
We talked online every day for over a year, back when AOL was new and cool. You knew me better than anyone else in my life. I was either stupid or in denial not to know how much you liked me. Our friendship didn't translate to real life. I wish I'd tried harder.
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