November 23, 2010

30 - Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Woman

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On Halloween, my best friend remarked that I've been looking forward to my 30th birthday for as long as she's known me.

I think it's true. Since high school, I've always been the young one of the crowds I've hung out with. Most of my best friends are a few years older than me, and I was never that enthralled with my 20s. 30 just seems like such a nice number. It's still young in my opinion, I feel young. But old enough to be taken seriously. Old enough to feel comfortable in my own skin, and in what I want in my life. Old enough to be sure of the things I love and confident in the things I don't like - and my ability to avoid them!

On my 30th birthday, I feel content. My life is in good order. I am a mother - something I looked forward to for ten years before it actually happened. I have two beautiful young boys. It's a challenge for sure, but it brings me a lot of joy too.

My marriage is one of the joys in my life. I've been with Justin now for almost 11 years, and he's so comfortable for me. He makes me laugh, and we're lucky enough to have a regular babysitter (thanks Mom!) so we can do date nights. Things have been a little tough, especially since having the 2nd little one. But one of my biggest goals right now is to work on reconnecting and figuring out how to work staying connected and spending time together into our crazy lives.

I love that I can sit and reflect on how blessed I am to have the family I do - both in my home every day and in my extended family.

I feel like I've found my niche. I want to concentrate on my writing, and am embarking on a journey of getting more seriously into photography, looking forward to my first DSLR and in working towards actually selling my photography someday.

I still love to read, I love watching TV and going to the movies, though I don't get to do that as much as I used to. I have an established group of friends that I absolutely love, and even though I only get to see a lot of them once a month at book club, those few hours absolutely rejuvenate me every single time.

In the past 2 years, I've lost 50 pounds. I am still heavy, and only halfway through that journey. But I feel hopeful and I weigh less than I have in several years. I eat better, and have discovered that I actually like cooking more than I knew that I would.

My life isn't perfect. Financially, we are still struggling. We're working on a new budget and being more responsible and thoughtful about how we spend, but we're still feeling ripples from our bankruptcy two years ago.

I am looking forward to the next few months, the next few years. I am looking forward to changes around the house - working on a schedule for Sam, watching him grow and change, and watching Danny turn into a person and not just an infant.

This year I get to celebrate my birthday all week. On my birthday, I'll get to have lunch with family and dinner with more family. Wednesday I'll get to see one of my best and oldest friends. Thursday is Thanksgiving and I get to be with even MORE family! Next weekend I get to celebrate by having a weekend for myself in Seattle, part of which will be spent with my sister and part of which will be spent with my best friends enjoying a Girls Night Out. The rest of the time I'll get to reflect and do whatever I want, because it's time just for me - a very rare treat these days.

Today, I kiss my 20s goodbye, and I can honestly say that I won't miss them. Life is good, and I can't wait to keep on living it.

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