October 11, 2010

30 Days of Truth Day 1: Not Trying Hard Enough

The prompt for Day 1 of 30 Days of Truth is something you hate about yourself.

Let's get one thing straight here. HATE is a very strong word, and I can say with conviction there is nothing I hate about myself. I save my hatred for things like George W. Bush's presidency, truck nuts, and black licorice. So, let's tone it down a little.

Everyone has things they don't like about themselves. If we're lucky, we find ways to change and grow and make ourselves a little bit happier. I don't like that I give in to my son too much. I don't like that I sometimes let snide remarks pass my lips instead of just letting them slide. I wish I was more motivated to keep my house cleaner without the push of having people come over. I'd like to be more responsible with money and stick to a budget better.

But the thing I like least about myself? It's inside me, and it's something only I can change. If you've been around a while, you know that I started Weight Watchers in February 2009. I lost 30 pounds before I got pregnant, and ended up almost 50 pounds lighter. I started Weight Watchers again 8 weeks ago, and I'm STUCK. I haven't been gaining weight, but I haven't been losing either.

I'm so frustrated, because I know it's all my own fault. I haven't been sticking to my points as well as I should have. Even on the days I do, I haven't been exercising. I don't like it that I KNOW I can do this, but something is blocking me. Something inside me is not motivating me to really GET on this and STICK to it. I need to start working out again and cooking meals, sticking to our meal calendar and keeping healthy snacks in the house. I'm the only one who can do this, I'm the only one who can make it work. And I'm not trying hard enough. Right now, that's what I don't like.

For my other 29 days, click here.


Sydney Markle said...

I'm starting again today too. Sometimes I get so SICK of starting again. And yes, hate is a strong word. But some times it works. Good job on answering a very tough first question. And good luck with trying harder :)

Making It Work Mom said...

You can do it! That is also one of the things that bothers me the most about myself: when I don't try hard enough.
Stop focusing on the whole big picture and instead just focus on little parts. For example you are going to allow yourself X amount of points for dinner and then stick with that - the rest of the day just be normal and then gradually build up. Maybe it won't be quite so overwhelming that way.

Mysteriousemail820 said...

More power to you! I'm on a fitness journey, myself. I have done Weight Watchers in the past but am not doing it now.

I understand the concern over feeling like you're not sticking to your diet. That is always something to improve upon. However, if you are on a plateau, where you feel like your body isn't cooperating, I have some advice. My personal trainer told me that when I hit a plateau I should give my body a couple "high calorie" days (where I eat more and stop taking my weight loss supplements) so my body will realize it is not starving. Then after a couple days, get back on track so my body will start tapping into my fat again.

I just finished doing this myself and, while it hasn't been enough time yet to see if I'm losing weight, it did resolve some chronic mild nausea I was having and some irritation at taking my supplements. I think my body must have been fatigued. Now I feel amazing!

Good luck!


rach said...

Rach! I am doing W.W now too! About to go in. I LOVE reading your blogs but I dont have real internet access at home and when I am at work and school I am usually doing school or work stuff :P I am at my sisters right now and I am suppose to be writing my paper but I came across your 30 days of truth and I was very intrigued! I love reading your blogs and I wish that I could start a blog too.. maybe someday :) YTFA :) Rach Da.