August 24, 2010

The Hunger

I had forgotten how consuming it is. The hunger.

It has been almost a year since I stopped attending Weight Watchers meetings and counting points after I got pregnant. I ate whatever I wanted during my pregnancy - for the first 20 weeks that was almost nothing. Later, it was more, but not enough to cause problems.

For the last six months, I have eaten whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Last Wednesday, I started counting points again.

I forgot how hard I have to fight. How I think about food all day and knowing there is so much tasty stuff in the house is almost crippling. How it's hard to keep my mind anywhere else, to keep from shoving every. last. morsel. of food available into my mouth.

On Saturday I went out by myself for several hours. No one to see what I was doing. The temptation to go somewhere and eat, knowing I could truly get my hands on ANYTHING I wanted? It was pulling at me like the moon on the tide. I did okay, even ate only 1/2 the popcorn at the movie like I planned. But I was thinking about eating more.

I know it will get better with time. As my body adjust to eating on more of a schedule, the hunger will subside... I will become accustomed to thinking less about food.

But right now, I feel the hunger crawling over my skin, tapping on my shoulders.

I will not give in. This can't be who I really am. I will ride these waves until they become mere ripples.

This week I'll officially re-join Weight Watchers and have the meetings for support.

I can do this...


Syd said...

I know this feeling. I know it like I know my face. It is hard, but as you said, it will get better. It's getting over that 3-4 day hump. Stick it out. I'm trying to stop the sugar myself. It's hard, especially at night.

Trish said...

Yes, you can do it! I started counting calories again, yesterday. I did okay, but went 74 calories over, after dinner was all said and done. A few hours later, I got hungry again and was annoyed that I hadn't left enough room to have a snack. Finally we both gave in and shared a banana, and that was enough for things to subside.

But yeah ... getting used to the change is tough. Knowing you're not alone really helps, though. Especially when I see my co-workers eating anything they darn well please ... my god! :-)

SeattleDad said...

Good for you for having that kind of will power. I wihs I had more of it. It certainly is a tough proposition. Good luck.

Ediehope said...

Actually, you have will power in your DNA. Others may call it "obstinance", but they are just jealous.

Kori said...

Yes, you can do this. you have done it before, my friend. I send hugs.

Misssrobin said...

Oh, the hunger.  You capture it beautifully.  You can do it!

Kristi West said...

I feel your pain. I am having the same issues right now. What I have decided is to tackle things in small chunks. I cut out fast food and each week I add something new to cut out. I am also trying to add in more veggies and fruit. It makes the hunger less intense because slowly I am weeding out the bad and adding in more good food. 

Mz.Dolphin said...

I know how that feels... I once experienced the same situation. I even cried LOL that how much I wanted to stop over eating and keep on my healthy journey