July 19, 2010

10 things that are just NOT okay

Today's challenge for 31 Days to Build a Better Blog is a list post. This is the perfect opportunity for me to actually write a post that's been rattling around in my head for quite a while.

Every so often, I come across something in my day that just makes me shiver with how NOT okay it is. It's something that I can't necessarily DO anything about, but that I object to actually existing in the first place. You know you have those moments too, where you sort of want to punch the face of this thing you dislike, but unfortunately it's impossible because it's not tangible. So, here's my list of 10 things that will just never be okay with me.

  1. Calvin peeing stickers/decals - Dudes. Calvin is a sweet little kid with an imaginary friend who is a tiger. WHY do you feel the need to create endless stickers of him peeing on things? I just don't get it. First off, having a sticker in public with someone peeing on something you don't like is already offensive. Then you have to take it a step further and add Calvin to the equation? It's just RUDE. It makes me sad, so please stop.
  2. Truck Nuts - If you don't know what truck nuts are, see here. Seriously? WHO decided that it was okay for people to hang a fake ball sack from their vehicle? Does it not occur to people that that is actually fairly obscene? No one would be happy if I hung a plastic va-jay-jay from my car. Seriously. Or even fake realistic boobs. A nutsack is not something I need to see in public, like, EVER. Also, what is the point? Are you compensating for something? It makes me wonder about you. It's kind of like those 'Big Johnson' shirts people used to wear. Remember those? They were also not okay, and made me feel un-necessarily uncomfortable.
  3. Pants with words across the ass - If you're shopping and see some sweats with words on the butt? Please put them back. It is never okay. If you're under 16, it's just creepy. If you're 16-25, have a little more respect for yourself. There are better ways to get attention. And if you're over 25? You're probably too old to be shopping in that section where you found those pants. So just back AWAY from the rack.
  4. Dreadlocks on white people - Perhaps you may have noticed that black people's hair has a different texture than white people's hair. It's just a reality. When you're white, you have to go to quite some lengths to get dreads, and they're not easy to get. They don't look good. You look like you have not washed your hair in... well, pretty much EVER. When I look at your head, all I can see is MATTS. The kind you'd find on an animal who's been mistreated. It's gross. I'm sorry, but it just is.
  5. When people speak in text language - Really? There is a reason that text and instant messaging use abbreviations. Because when you read OMFG, you already know what it means. It saves keystrokes. Do you know what happens when you SAY OMFG out loud? You save ONE SYLLABLE. Is it worth it? Because you sound dumb.
  6. People who use Halloween as an excuse to be obscene/slutty - I totally realize this is out of season, but it is a huge pet peeve of mine. You know you've seen them at the store. "Sexy Wizard" (read: Slutty Hermione), "Sexy Alice", sexy a million other things. At what point did Halloween become an excuse to wear lingerie in public? When did people stop being creative and trying to look like an actual character? When you dress up as sexy firewoman, you are not actually dressing as a firewoman. You are dressing up in some dude's fantasy lingerie. In the bedroom? Go for it. On the streets? Please stop. Also, that section of the store where they keep the inflatible penis costumes and weird gynecologist costumes and stuff like that? I would like it if everyone in the world could just avoid it.
  7. Mel Gibson - Dude, Mel, I'm sorry but I can't deal with you anymore. I remember watching that version of Hamlet you were in and there was this scene where you were on top of a bookcase and looked totally crazy, and I thought you were awesome in that scene. Now I realize that it was just a glimpse of what was to come. I don't know what happened, but you have gone off the deep end and you are just not okay with me anymore.
  8. When people say 'I could care less' - If you tell me you COULD care less, that means you care. I think what you are trying to say is that you couldn't care less. That means you care so little that it would be impossible for you to care less. Isn't that more what you're talking about?
  9. Ad that imply my womanhood is best expressed through fabric softener - Seriously? I can't even remember the brand at this point, but I have seen them tons of times. They're fabric softener ads that talk about how we (meaning women of course because that's who they picture in the commercials, because men don't DO laundry apparently) can express ourselves through which scent we choose for our fabric softener. Really? That is not how I define myself dudes.
  10. Facebook status updates that try to be wise - Look. I get it. You found some quote you like. Maybe you are trying to sound smart. But I hate your status update that says 'We are all in the journey of life blah blah blah' or 'Real friends are the ones who blah blah blah'. You sound like a greeting card. There is no point. I would much rather read about what you ate for breakfast this morning. Seriously. This is especially annoying if you are less than 20 years old and haven't lived your life yet. Don't talk about loving things and letting them go, or

What about you? What makes you tick? What just gets under your skin? Let it out - I want to hear it!

78 comments:

Maureen said...

LOL Awesome list, Rachael! I can't believe the truck nuts! So with you on the text language. Here in Indonesia some kids even post their facebook status in that kind of language even own a name specially for that and it's even worst than the text language because they use numbers to replace some letters.

Lindsey said...

Great list! I am glad I'm not the only one who gets itchy when people say could instead of couldn't.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Yep to all.

And as I was reading the text speak part, Boo was running down the hallway yelling OMG OMG OMG!

LOL

Heh.

K Pugliano said...

Haha! Very good list!
Sooooo entirely with you with the Truck sacks...so gross...in fact, I have a thread on my blog where I entitle posts with "Really?!" and this was going to be a topic.

Also doing the challenge..hopefully I will survive the next 30 days.

Glad to find your blog-and now follow!

Thanks for the laugh!

chocoholic said...

Great list! I hate when people use "text speak"! Drives me freakin' bonkers! And my fiance knows it does so recently he's started saying TY instead of Thank You just toget under my skin.

Kelly said...

This is awesome I love the one with the words across the ass on the pants it is so TRUE!!
GREAT BLOG!!!!!!!!

Amy said...

I agree with ALL of these. You could add when people call an event a "1st Annual." There is no such thing as "1st Annual" as it has not happened in a previous year.

Also, "cool beans". I want to smack the crap out of people who say "cool beans". Nothing about beans are cool. Nothing.

I'm loving the #31DBBB. Hope you are too!

Gemma said...

Great list there, had me laughing for ages, and I agree with all of them :P

tvchiq :) said...

this is gonna be a shocker, but--I love the list...so much of what you said is true...I too have a few "pet peeves" that I try not to obsess over...off the top of my head, I will include one here...I try not to go crazy over these kinds of things, but it does get a bit annoying...I don't like when people use ('s) when they are making something plural...for instance: "Merry Christmas from the Smith's"--it should be Smiths (unless they mean from the Smith's house or something)...apostrophes indicate possession, not plurals...sorry--it's just one of my things that I would put on my list...hope it doesn't offend anyone... :)

Melissa {adventuroo} said...

This list had me LITERALLY LOL. Especially the part about Mel Gibson probably not acting when he acted crazy in Hamlet. HA!

I'm also doing the challenge- let's see if I can keep it up at 31 days though!

C.McKane said...

Not only was your post hysterical but the comments are too. I'm linking this to my post about pet peeves!

Audra said...

That cracked me up! I'm loving all the new blogs I am finding thanks to #31DBBB!

My pet peeves - high school students who get peeved when I tell them it is NOT ok to write their paper in text speak and that they don't get credit for the words the text speak represents. - moms who dress their little girls to look sexy (that's just wrong).

Ramona said...

LOL, funny list! I agree.

Mama Kat said...

Great post! Made me laugh...I hate FB status updates that say things like: "hmmmm...." or "Wow. I can't believe it!"

It's like they just want you to ask them what's going on. BUGS!

TornadoTwos said...

Love this list, but as I was reading #10 I was saying, yes, YES and YES!!!. Ugh- you got it right on with the people who haven't lived their life yet leaving these life-altering quotes. I have someone who does this all the time and it irks me so.
Found you from SITS.

Kim said...

Great list.

#4 and #5.

#4 Dreadlocks. I keep thinking of lice and creepy crawly things.

Lisa@PracticallyIntuitive.com said...

I love you so! LOVE YOU! I could have written this list myself (just not as good as you, unfortunately).

I recently saw a sticker on a truck that said "If it flies, it dies." and I cannot tell you how much that offended me. I know it's a hunter thing but geez oh whiz, dude. That is just wrong on eleventy million levels.

Bookmarking you - love your style!

Kerri said...

ROFL!!! Oh my FEAKIN' word that was the best list ever. I am SO with you. I don't even KNOW text talk other than what I just wrote on top! : )
Found you through blogfrog!
Have a good one!

becca said...

i agree 100%! all of those things are most definitely NOT OK. i used to live in asheville, nc (hippie town usa) where there were more white people with dreadlocks per capita than anywhere else in the world. it was so not ok.

bernicewood said...

This was fantastic! Yours is the first "list" post I read today in the 31 day challenge and it was so funny! I can relate to these so much!
Another one that bugs me is people who use FB for promoting their biz (no problem with THAT part) and then send out 10 consecutive messages saying almost exaclty the same thing! What a way to piss people off, not get customers!
I will probably link to your list sometime in the future, Have an awesome day!

PinkMama said...

OMG...LOL, just had to do that your list was right on! Love it and very funny to read. Good luck with the challenge.

Debbie's L'Bri said...

http://debbiellbriskincare.blogspot.com/2010/07/list-of-properties-in-drinking-aloe.html here is my list.

I love your list... I agree totally.
One I would ad is the previews on home movies. I go and rent a movie because I want to watch it not 15 minutes of previews. Most of the previews --are movies that I would never have in my house.

SITS Girls said...

This list is hilarious and SO true.

The slutty halloween costumes make me nuts!

Funsucker Extraordinaire said...

Great list! Love it!

Those truck nuts must be a northern thing. I have never seen anything like that in SoCal. Gotta agree with you about the slutty halloween costumes, words on your ass, text speak, and well... everything!

I haven't done my list post but I think yours is going to give me quite a bit of inspiration! Thanks for the laugh!

twinsnsingles said...

Rachael! This is a GREAT list! Things you just think about that are NOT OK!! Love it! Still putting mine together.

Michelle said...

I love this list!! I often see things and say, "that is just not ok!" And I especially agree about the text language and couldn't care less - I have to fight the desire to point that out every time someone says they "could care less." Great post!!

Rachael said...

chocoholic - That TOTALLY sounds like something my husband would do.

tvchiq - I HATE misused apostrophes and quotation marks. I used to work with this woman and when we'd put up the daily specials on the white board, she'd write 'daily special's' and 'soup's'. It drove me CRAZY and I would erase them, she'd write them back in.

Melissa said...

Awesome List! Yes some of those are soooo gross and facebook is just annoying in general!
Found you on problogger challenge.

Peaceful wishes,

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

Awesome list... and um, hence the reason I always have lame or silly status updates! However, occasionally I'll have a motivational quote because I'm "feelin' it!" Except that my most recent status update is totally awesome because it just is!

Jess Webb said...

Fantastic list post! I loved it - and could relate with most of the pet peeves on your list. :P You gave me a smile and a few nods. :D

Daenel said...

Absolutely hilarious and oh so true. I had to tweet this post! I teach college and my students actually use text speak when answering essay questions and then get angry when I deduct points. :-/

Sarafree said...

Very funny list! In the pants category, I would add pants that are so big and saggy they show boxers. And I agree, truck nuts are just weird and gross. Haha! Thanks for your feedback on my pitch, appreciated it! www.oururbanvillage.com

Lisa PN said...

So funny!
I might add skinny pants that are in style right now. Forget how dorky they look, i can't imagine how long it takes to put them on.

And talking too loud on your phone. I don't care what you have to say so don't invade my world. Kay?

Thanks so much for this! Made me smile for sure!

Vrinda said...

This made me giggle all the way through, couldn't agree with you more! Great post! I'll be subscribing, I want more!

Lynda said...

Wonderful list post, Rachael! I actually love Slutty Halloween and I don't mind dreads on white people, but I'm with you on the rest of them!

xoxo said...

great list post - it was like 10 mini rants crammed together so you didn't spend too much time on each one. I liked the peek into how your mind works..and I think we'd get along ;)

Now I must leave to take the next step on the journey of life, love, and rainy daze. !!!

;)

Tammy@ Not Just Paper and Glue said...

This is a great list. It made me laugh today :)

Maranda said...

Hahahaha!!! I totally agree! I hate the words on the butt especially! Great list!!

Dumblond said...

Haha! Great list, though slightly disturbing. I have never seen those truck sacks and I am now wishing I hadn't clicked on that link...I really want to douse my eyes in bleach...
I've got a big issue with those nasty sweat/yoga pants with words on the behind. If my daughter ever asks for a pair of those...I may just smack her for the first time...

Edie aka Mom said...

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said "Orgasm Donator." How is that possible???? Does it mean that you donate your own orgasms to someone else? I don't think it is even possible to give an orgasm away. Once you have it it is over and no longer exists. You can't give away what you no longer have. Maybe what you mean is that you donate your time to build orgasms for the orgasmless. That is more possible, I guess, but it's definitely not the same as giving your own orgasms away. I just don't know...

Jamee said...

I totally give your list 5 stars! Completely agree with every single one. Visiting from SITS!

Andie said...

So true love your list. Glad I'm not the only snarky one around here!

Second Chance Moon said...

How did you come up with that list overnight???? Awesome! Have not heard of or seen truck nuts. Awesome.

Christy said...

This made me laugh! I agree with just about all ten, except...I love Jason Castro's dreads <3 Thanks for the giggles! Laugh out loud ;)

Mommytries said...

I thought this list was hilarious!!!! it helped me decide what to write a list on, and how to go about the task!

Laura said...

I agree with all of those, especially Mel Gibson. I mean, he aged so pretty & then he does all this insane stuff. I'm very disappointed in him. (And he couldn't care less what I think.)

Here from SITS 31 DBBB

Lana said...

That list was made of 100% awesome!

Serenity said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serenity said...

OMG. You are full of that awesome sauce for this post! Linked, loved, following -- the whole nine!

~ said...

This was Great!! I read half of this out loud to my hubby across the room but had to stop at Mel Gibson when I darn near fell out of my chair laughing!! You are great thanks so much for the good belly laughs :)

Colleen Gonzalez said...

Oh you have me howling over here! I agree with ALL of these. I loved Calvin and Hobbs when I was a kid and I hate those stickers. One of my biggest peeves is when people just start backing up without looking behind them. I'm not talking about in a car either. I can't count how many times I have to bob and weave in the grocery store so I don't get trampled!

Jannie Funster said...

GROSS on the truck nuts.

Good point on the Hallowe'en costume.

And Totally Agreed on those who speak in text language.

Nice to "meet" you!

Suzy said...

I despise those Calvin decals. Instant rage! Love it.

Amy ~ The Crimson Beloved said...

Hi Rachael! I found your blog through Blogfrog. I love your list! I haven't seen the truck sack in Canada yet and I hope I NEVER do! Your post was hilarious!

kathryn said...

Hi Rachael, I'm from Canada too and I have yet to see "truck nuts"! I love your list!

Jenny Brown said...

I love your list....you're hilarious, by the way! I seriously agree with MOST of them ...BUT.....I AM 44 and I do own sweatpants that read "Awesome" on the butt! (I really couldn't resist.....and it's not like I ever wear them out in public or anything!) I found you thru the "Sits Summer Challenge" and I'm now off to snoop around your site...I'm sure you'll be seeing me around a lot lately, since you crack me up! :):)

Ada said...

Love, love the list! It's so well reasoned, and worded. ;) Truck nuts? Ewwwww!

Bethany said...

YES!!! I love your list. There isn't one I don't agree with you on :-)

James (SeattleDad) said...

Great list!

I guess I am too urban these days to know about truck nuts.

Mel? Just sad.

Amy said...

i absolutely agree 100% with everything on your list and I thought it was hilarious. Nice job your list post. really looking forward to more from you :)

AJ said...

My list of things that are NOT okay:
1. When my socks go upside down so that the heel is on the top of my foot. I can't even stand to see my kid's socks like that. It makes me shiver.
2. When people have private cell phone conversations in public places. Usually also with very loud voices. Although this is also sometimes very entertaining.
3. Spinning hubcaps on minivans. I don't really like those spinning hubcaps (I don't know what they are really called!) on any car, but on minivans they look ridiculous AND confuse me.

Green Monkey said...

wow.....61 opinionated people and I am one of them!

I feel that your list came from your heart and you didn't worry about how anyone else would react. BRAVO, BRAVO!!!

I agree with your list and might I add..

people who think and act as though they are privileged

people who smoke and then toss their butt on the ground (I don't care that its been snuffed)

hmm... people who don't like dogs or pets in general

thats all I have tonight :)

Dionne said...

Hi your 10 things that are just not ok made me laugh out loud. Don't want to know who Calvin is and grateful that some stuff just never makes it here to OZ. Truck nuts, thought you were going to talk about some kind of trail mix thing. Who knew they had a name.
Can I just ad an eleventh, the mongrels who decided women limited their income by only requiring sanitary protection once a month for a few days and brought out the panty liner. Telling us that this will enhance our "freshness". Those things CAUSE more vulvo-vaginal infections due to lack of air movement.

nikki said...

Awesome list... not much makes me literally laugh out loud, but this did. So funny!

bjwalker said...

OMFG you are sooo hilarious and I'm right on target with my list. In fact come to think of it you didn't "miss a one."

And thank you for including truck nuts! List would NOT be complete without it. Sadly, my very annoying and obnoxious TPT of a brother-in-law had them on his truck, I don't know what the bank did with them after they repossessed it though...hmmm.

Thank you for a midnight laugh and congrats on your 31dbb commitment - seems like mine is going along in dog years or something like it.

Cheers.

Mrs.Mayhem said...

So funny! I love your list!

Dawn said...

It's wonderful! Yours was the first post I read on the 31dbbb and now I am so motivated! Great job! :)

Nichole said...

Awesome list!
The truck nuts kill me. Like I want to explain to my three year old why a big pair are swinging from a truck!

Julie said...

Oh my goodness! I am cracking up! I found your blog through the challenge, and frankly? You had me at "truck nuts"! Good luck with your challenge!

Home♥Mom.com said...

seriously laughing on the inside (bc who laughs out loud all the time ;) Although I didn't agree with everything I loved how you stated it all. Yes the fb wisdom updates get really old, I didn't subscribe to a horoscope or a verse a day ;)

Stopping by from Sits to learn more about link lists (yes I'm behind). Great example. Thanks ;)

Christy, Home♥Mom.com

Kini said...

I'm also giving 31DBBB a try, but it's more like 31 weeks for me.
I love reading "your list." It's the best so far and you've got that wit and humour that's gonna make me want to come back for more.

Kini

Christinajeanne said...

I just started reading about the challenge. I really like your list I saw a nut sack on a truck today and was like "what is that?" It was very weird. Also I'm so over mel gibson too.

CC Jen said...

I have never heard of truck nuts, and I'm horrified that such a thing exists!  Ick.

Misssrobin said...

AMEN! 

Rose's Daughter said...

I don't know what Truck nuts are but...that sounds so disgusting.  I happen to be an black woman with dreads, and I've never understood white people who gets them. Why? You're right. It just looks matted...and I want to comb their hair...after a good wash...
And AMEN to the facebook status. My pet peeve is the cliched bible versus one moment and the slutty photo from the club the next. SMH.
Happy SITS day by the way!

rachelcotterill said...

I haven't even seen most of these things! Benefits to being British, perhaps ;)

Harry Richards said...

There's nothing wrong with truck nuts

....that a good sharp knife couldn't cure.

Rachael1013 said...

HA! That cracked me up.