It's been almost a week since we found out about the job. The job that we were hoping so hard for. The possibility that kept us up in the air for two weeks, that we were waiting, walking on eggshells and praying for after his unexpected layoff. The job that got him excited about the possibilities for the first time in a long time.
There are a lot of reasons that this job seems so wonderful. Justin will be working as a computer programmer again at Whatcom Community College. Despite his foray back into tech support/networking for the last couple of years, programming is what he loves to do. I know that recently he's felt uninspired and longed for the days when he got paid to go and actually create something. Beyond the actual job, there is the location.
We both have ties to the community college, but Justin's are very strong. His dad was the President of the college for the years between 1984 and 2007. He built it up from one building out in the county to what it is now - an 8 building campus close to the mall and many other things that also got built up during that time. Justin has been around the campus and connected to the college since he was 4 years old, both of us were students there. Justin worked there previously while he was a student, with the same guy he's working with now, who he really likes.
Justin's older brother got married in the theater there, and a couple of years later, Justin and I got married AND had our reception there!
In the Heiner Center Theater:
Anyhow, I didn't necessarily mean to go on so long about WHY we were so excited, but there it is! Where I'm really going with this post is a little bit darker, but bright in the end.
The week and a half in between when Justin got laid off and when we found out he got this job were really hard. We have been in situations before when we were counting pennies and living paycheck to paycheck. But this was different. For a THANKFULLY very short while, we were not sure how we were going to buy food for ourselves. Not knowing at all what the future holds is not easy. Add to it the way Justin's job ended and that he was feeling pretty low during that time, pregnancy hormones, and that Sam could sense that something was not going so well around here... it was painful.
I was panicked almost daily about our financial situation and what we were going to do. Even now, it's a little bit tough to try and plan out the next month not knowing when we ill get our first paycheck and when Justin's official first day will be at the new job.
But through all that darkness, there was something that we sometimes forget about. There was a light shining all around us. Sometimes it does take a hard time to remind you of the amazing people that are in your life. In a time when fear easily overwhelmed me, these people were there to grab my hands, lift me up, and tell me that I wasn't alone.
The generosity of our families, and of one friend in particular, blew me away. Honestly, to the point of having no words that could express how grateful I was that we are blessed with these incredible, loving people in our lives.
Because of them, we will be able to get through the next month until Justin gets paid again. Because of them we have plenty of food in our fridge. Because of them, Sam had an Easter Basket this year. Because of them we know we'll be able to afford gas to get to appointments and for Justin to drive to work. Because of them we'll be able to pay our bills in April and still have something left over to live on. Because of them, I have been able to relax.
Because of them, I have been reminded that it is okay to be humble and to accept gifts where God offers them. That there is no shame in letting people know when you are hurting. Because being honest with what's happening in your life can lead to help you didn't even know was there for you.
I think it's natural that most of us have difficulty accepting this type of gifts. It's never easy to admit that you need to rely on other people. Even when you know you need help, it can feel like too much. Sometimes it's very hard to give in, to surrender to offerings and blessings where they come, not where you are COMFORTABLE with them coming.
It reminds me of the inherent good that I try to see in the world. It reinforces my belief that people are good at heart, and want to help each other. It helps me remember that things turn out okay if you can try to let go and trust the love that people have in their hearts. It gives me a great feeling to remember the times I've been able to help people, and helps me look forward to a time when I will be able to 'pay it forward' to someone else.
Through hard times, I have been reminded of the boundless blessings that surround me. My fear is washed away, and replaced by love, excitement for this new opportunity, and joy in the people I love most in my life.