January 6, 2010

The 2nd Time Around

I spent part of my weekend transferring all my posts from the BabyCrowd Journal blog I used while I was pregnant with Sam to this blog's archives. Now they're all here and all of my blog writing I've done is all in one place.

It was interesting looking back at my first pregnancy and how different it was. It's just SO much different going through it the second time, already knowing a lot of what's to come and not being nervous about having a newborn around.

The closest posts to where I am right now in this pregnancy were from January 11, so I was about 24 weeks along. Right now I'm 22 weeks along in this pregnancy. I was just starting to feel Sam moving, which actually lines up - I've just started to feel Danny moving consistently in the last 4 or 5 days, and now I feel him pretty much every day, but still not too strongly. I had been feeling sick with some kind of flu and missed a day or so of work. Here's part of what I wrote:

The other day when I was talking to Brooke, she sort of reminded me, hey, you are really pregnant. I hate the fact that last week when I started to feel so sick, I didn't even feel like I could take a sick day to take care of myself when I'm six months pregnant. I think that's ridiculous. I think I've been pushing myself too much, and I'm going to pay more attention to what I'm doing now. I need to make sure I'm not working too much and that I'm taking regular breaks and eating real meals throughout the day. I don't feel incapacitated by being pregnant, but I am definitely starting to realize now that I don't have the same capacity that maybe I did before, I do get tired more easily and need to consider it. I feel like nobody else considers it either. I feel like if I were thinner and looked 'more pregnant', that people would treat me differently. As it is, I don't think people even think about it. On top of the fact that I don't feel like anyone at work even knows what I'm doing or appreciates it. I know Laurie does, but no one else even seems to understand how busy I am and how overloaded that I am right now. I don't feel like I fit in that well, I am not part of the regular staff because I am in sort of a position of authority to them, and the managers don't consider me to be on their level. It's like I'm drifting in the middle by myself and no one notices me unless I'm NOT doing the thing they want me to do. Anyway, only 57 more days left (not that I'm counting), and I'm working on hiring the people to take my job over so I can start training them and unloading some stuff.

Lastly, I'm starting to think a lot about what I need to do and the things I want to do around the house. I know there are four months left, but I feel like I want to start doing things now. I'm starting to make a plan for what stuff I want to pack up and send to the storage unit until we get a house. There's a lot of 'stuff' around here that I don't want to get rid of, but that it woud probably be good to have out of the way for now. I'll keep you all updated on what I do around the house. I think it's almost time for a visit to the container store soon to get a nother shelf for the baby 'stuff' that's already starting to be here.

This is a great example of how different this time is. Though I have the stress of trying to make sure Sam is taken care of and entertained, I forget how hard some of the work stuff was last time. I feel lucky that I'm home with Sam and not trying to juggle him, a job AND being pregnant. We also don't have much ready here for the baby. We haven't gotten most of the hand me downs from people, which includes the car seats and crib. We have a few small piles of clothes, but that's about it. We're VERY slowly trying to get a little more organized, but the living room needs to be cleaned out and the extra bed needs to be taken to the garage before the guest room really becomes Danny's room. We still don't have a middle name picked out, and don't know if we'll use cloth diapers this time (depends on whether the diaper service delivers here).

I'm trying to really enjoy this pregnancy because I know it's going to be my last. I know that if someday Justin and I decide that our family is short a member, we'll look into adoption. It's so strange to want to savor every moment of this and at the same time be so anxious to meet the baby.

I do have fears about when he arrives, we were in such an ideal situation last time and this time I'm goin to have to do things on my own a lot sooner. Justin won't be able to take much time off work because we can't afford time off without pay, and that means that I'll be left to cope with 2 kids before I will probably feel totally ready. I know I can do it, but I also know it's going to be a challenge at first.

In any case, it's kind of fun to look back and compare what I was doing then. It's really nice that it's so easy to match up since we are on almost the same schedule as last time with the due dates only a week apart. I'll end with this...

On the BabyCrowd site the provide you with monthly questionaires to answer about how things are going with the baby. Here's my current answers to the questions I answered in January 2006.

Buying maternity clothes was:
Way better than I thought! I had a gift card to Motherhood Maternity for $50 and managed to squeeze three whole shirts out of it, which was a bargain because maternity clothes are expensive. I had fun trying things on and choosing the ones I wanted!

The biggest change in my body has been:
The shape of my stomach. I have definitely started to REALLY show earlier this time, and even though the baby is lower, my belly is up high because all my guts have been displaced by my uterus.

My favorite change in my body has been:
This is a hard one, I really like the round belly because I actually look pregnant now!

What I never thought would change was:
The sickness! Oh my gosh, it was definitely worse this time, and I'm SO glad it's (mostly) passed.

At this month's prenatal visit I learned that:
Hm, this is a hard one too. I learned that if I qualify for Pregnancy Medical through DSHS, the whole birth will be paid for. I also learned that I have not gained any weight this pregnancy, which is good.

My hopes:
That the birth will go well and I'll be able to handle a natural birth. I am very excited, but I am also a bit scared because I know it's pain. I am pretty confident, but there's always a little fear.

My fears:
My biggest fear this pregnancy is that my blood sugar levels will start to be too high or I will develop gestational diabetes and not be able to deliver at the birth center. Luckily so far everything is awesome and I'm trying to think positive that it will stay that way.

1 comment:

Enz said...

I'm keeping positive thoughts for you too.

I enjoyed my second pregnancy so much more - I think it was because I knew what to expect and I was much more relaxed and not so anxious for "it to be over"...you know?

Funnily enough, my second son is so much more laid back and relaxed than the first...so there might be sometihng in that :)