December 27, 2009

My Danny Boy

Dear Danny,

Hi baby. Things are starting to change. I think about you all the time, and it's no longer just because I'm feeling sick. You've been growing inside me for 19 weeks, though that means I'm 21 weeks pregnant. I know it's confusing, but the world is a big confusing place. Don't worry about that right now, you'll have plenty of time for it later.

I've started to feel much better, and I'm really looking forward to the next 19 weeks. This is the wonderful part of being pregnant, the part where I get to know you and love you more than almost anything in the world. My belly is getting bigger now, and I'm crossing the threshold from looking fat to really looking pregnant. I've started taking pictures every week because I wished I'd taken more when I was pregnant with your brother.

I'm finally starting to feel you moving in there. It's not a lot yet, and I can't wait until I feel it strong every day. I know how strong you are because you made me so sick, but you are still so small that I haven't felt you much yet. Right now it's just little twinges, but I've felt you at least once the last couple of days. I'm sorry if you've felt me pushing, I poke at my belly and try to get you to move. Sometimes it works. It's my very favorite part of being pregnant, and I will miss it when you finally come out to meet me.

Yesterday morning I sat at my computer and tried to think of everything we need to gather before you get here. We're so lucky to have friends and family giving us a lot of the big stuff, but we still need lots of clothes and blankets and bottles for you. We have very generous friends, and one of them is throwing us a shower in only a month. I can't wait for you to meet all the people in this world who already love you.

One of those people is Sam. We talk about you all the time. He knows that sometimes I get tired because you're in there. I can't wait to hear him laugh about how big my belly gets. He wants to teach you everything - how to play, how to jump, how to be a little boy. I know that it will be hard for him at first - waiting for you to turn from a tiny baby into a little toddler who can actually play with him. But I know that you two are going to have great adventures together. I know that he will love you.

We finally have a name for you. Well, half a name anyhow. You'll be our Daniel. We didn't pick the name based on it's meaning, but on it's meaning to us individually. It's our family connection, your father's middle name and Grandmother's maiden name. The meaning of the name is from the bible and it's "God is my judge." Thinking about that now, I kind of like it. To me, it means that no man is your judge. You'll be free to be who you are, always. I hope that gives you strength. Your middle name is still under consideration, but in my head you are Danny. My Danny.

I am getting really excited to meet you, and this is all starting to feel really real. I want to enjoy the rest of our special time, this time when you are mine and mine alone. I know that this is my last time feeling a little baby move inside me, and even though I can't wait to hold you, I am going to savor every moment of holding you in my body. I just can't wait... for all of it.

I love you,


LceeL said...

What a lovely post. As a man, it isn't often that a woman's mind comes open to explore - especially as regards a pregnancy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with all of us - and taink you for letting at least one man see what it's like to know that a life grows inside you.

Brieshon said...

So sweet, Rachael. And the name goes perfectly with him and with your family. Hope we get to visit again soon - and I can't wait to meet little Daniel!!

Melissa aka Equidae said...

lovely and i like the nmame to

Renee said...

When I was pregnant with Moanna, at first, I would poke her to make her move. When she got bigger, I would poke her to make her stop moving. She would kick my ribs, I would poke back. She would kick, and I would pat my belly. I got strange looks when I'd smack (not hard) my belly and go, "Knock it off. I can't breathe when you do that."

Kori said...

What a lovely post; sending you big hugs.

Dumblond said...

I am so excited for you!

Sophia's Mom said...

Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
And I wish you a wonderful pregnancy and a healthy baby boy!

Aunt Becky said...

I think Daniel is a great name. May I be so bold as to suggest John as the middle name? It's also Biblical and means God's grace. Of course, it's also my dad's and both my grandfathers' (your grandfather's and great grandfathers')name. You have to admit Daniel John Heiner has a ring to it.

Whatever you name him, I can't wait to meet him. Love you!!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...


That was beautiful.

You need to print this out and put it in his baby book.

Mom said...

Yesterday Sam told me, "I like my baby." Ahhhh...