August 14, 2009

I Want It

Haiku Friday

I have gone back and
forth, over and over, no
decisions have come

It's not the same this
time around, desperation
is absent this time

I cuddle a new
baby in my arms, I smell
her baby smell, sweet

My heart does not ache.
Also gone is the fear, the
thought that my strength lacks

Two would be too much,
in the past year my head and
heart have assured me

Things have changed now, though.
We are settling and calming,
new home and new future

I realized this
week, I want you, I will seek
you, my number two

I feel it now, and I don't know the road ahead. Last time, it was hard. Two years and four inseminations before I was blessed. What will it be this time? 15 pounds lighter, thyroid healthier, PCOS being treated, hormones on a better course, healthier. Will it make a difference? No way to know. I have been unsure, what we could handle, what Sam could handle. He is older now. We are in a different situation now. It's not like last time, I am not desperate or longing. It's not frantic, but a solid thought in my mind. I want to be pregnant again. Wish me luck, and pray for a shorter and easier road this time around.

To read more Friday Haiku's, click here.


Equidae said...

beautiful poem and i will pray for you

The Laundress said...


I've not been around a lot lately..but still. Hugs.

Kori said...

Three posts so far this morning about babies. BABIES! You are ALL KILLING ME!

LceeL said...

I will pray for you - for what you wish for. That said, I am now and always amazed at women - that having gone through all that one must endure to bear a child, you, you women, will turn around and do it again. THAT is love.

Jenelle said...

Oh, I want number two, too. Sigh. :) Maybe someday!

Nap Warden said...

So been there with Miss Peach. It's not easy, and not fun. We got lucky and didn't have to do round two for The Little Man. Much luck and good vibes to you:)

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

I won the One Lovely Blog award and now I want to pay it forward and bestow the award upon you. You can find the details on the post titled
And the award goes to...
I'm currently still working on the post.