April 10, 2009

Center of my World

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Haiku Friday

Home from date night, at
ten p.m., and through the window
I see a blonde tuft

'He's still up' I sigh
as we walk towards the house, I
see him on the couch

On grandma's lap, in
only a diaper, we walk in
'I tried my darndest'

He cries when they leave,
was fussy while we were gone, and
now overtired

I lie with him on
the couch, he zones out to the
soft sounds of Spongebob

I wrap my arm now
around his waist, and feel his
hair tickle my face

Only moments now
until his breathing deepens
and slows, tiny snores

I don't feel annoyed,
not today. I only feel
thankful for his life.

I get to hold him
close to me, he won't be a
baby forever

It's been a tough week,
emotions have run high, and
thoughts have gone to dark

Now I try to hold
every moment, slow the clock
fill my heart with love

My little boy, my
love, center of my world, I
can't breathe without him

Yesterday was one of the quietest days I've experienced in the blogosphere since I started blogging and filling my reader and twitter with friends and people I admire. I think that the bloggy world was tired, hundreds of moms and dads spent the day on Wednesday crying, imagining, and trying to figure out how we could help do something - anything - for Heather and Mike Spohr.

My son was at the babysitter, and I spent the day relaxing. After the babysitter, my Mom was over to watch him for date night. When we got home, I was bummed at first that he was still up. It was WAY past his bedtime, and he should've been asleep. We came into the house, and he'd been fussy the whole time we were gone. He cried when we left. He didn't eat dinner. And he wouldn't go to bed. I guess we learned our lesson about doing Babysitter & Date Night in the same day - too much!

He cried when Grandma left, but quickly climbed onto the couch, and in minutes we were lying under a blanket together watching Spongebob with my arm around him. It was only moments until he fell asleep. Today, I didn't feel anxious. I didn't feel upset that he was still up. Instead I just savored the feeling of his warm skin, the touch of his hair on my face.

These are moments that will be engraved in me forever. Hopefully I will grow old with a healthy son, and hold these moments as only a few of the ones I cherish, remembering the old days as I cherish the new. Right now, all I know is that I love him. That one day, we'll grow apart as all parents and children must, but for now I will hold him while he sleeps, listen to his breathing, and thank God for the gift of this wonderful little person.

To read more Haiku Friday posts, click here.

89 comments :

Sandra said...

I enjoyed hearing your thoughts in haiku form. Haiku Friday is a new meme for me.

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

I was sad to hear about Madeline....breaks my heart.

Loved the poem....what does haiku actually mean? I know that,s probably a stupid question.

You had me choke up when you talked about just holding him 'cause he won't be you little boy forever, so true. Made me think back about my girls being little.

Ashlie - MommyCosm said...

Great 'ku.

It was a hard week and I think we're all hugging our little ones a bit tighter.

Cathy said...

great haiku--really captured how intensely emotional those moments of awareness are.

Mama Wheaton said...

Nice Haiku. Our children grown faster than we can take a breathe. But keep breathing anyway.

Dawn said...

You write the most beautiful haikus.

Dumblond said...

Oh that's wonderful.
And who doesn't love Spongebob?!

Gayle said...

You expressed love for a child in a beautiful story. Sometimes I am too rushed to appreciate the moments that I am so lucky to have and so many have lost.... Thanks for the gentle reminder to slow down.

Mama Zen said...

I do the same thing with my daughter. The thought that she won't always fit so perfectly in my arms is heartbreaking sometimes.

Mel said...

I cuddled a lot with my son this long weekend too. He didn't seem to want to sleep Saturday night, and was kind of all over the place. But that was okay, because he was there, and I was there.

BTW, thanks for reading my haiku this week and commenting.

Xazmin said...

Beautiful. I really loved reading this tonight.

I'm going to go hold my baby for a while.

Marshmallow Circus said...

A wonderful reminder as I sit her nursing my baby. :)

Alicia said...

Maddy's story was so heart breaking...I think parents everywhere took a step back to just gaze at the blessings they've been given...I know I did...

ella said...

I admire how you were able to shelve your irritation about your baby being "up too late" "past bedtime" etc. and just concentrate on him. It was/is something I'm so very bad at---not appreciating or even just seeing those moments with your kids. I hope your post will come back to me when I've about had it with my 3 and need to clear my head.

Mama Mel said...

Here from SITS. Beautiful poem! I also have a young son, and can relate to many things in your haiku. Some days I just want to hold him forever too, although he wouldn't let me... Gotta get my kisses in while he's little because I know he'll hate it when he's older! Thanx for sharing! Looking forward to reading more.

Helen McGinn said...

Ah, children...the emotions they instil. :O)
xx

Yaya said...

Thank you for realizing the blessing that is your son. I can't stand when people complain about these little things because in the end, you are so so blessed to have him.

Equidae said...

loveĆ²y poem and great story....its an amazing feeling children give you and you feel thrm growing even while you hold them close

Becky said...

Beautiful Haiku and a wondeful reminder for us all to hold our babies tight and appreciate them

meandtheblueskies said...

You have such a talent with words. Hang on to those sweet sensory memories as those are the best. I remember when my daughter was little and I would hold her in my arms while we danced to music from the record player. My hair was long and she would twirl it with her fingers. It's been 27 years since that happened and I can still remember how it feels. Happy SITS day.

Elizabeth said...

I totally know what you mean about them not being babies forever - mine sixteen month old is starting to feel a little not-like-a-baby-anymore, and it's so sad! He has an ear infection now and he was very clingy and lovey yesterday as a result, which in a way, I almost enjoyed, because normally he's too busy running around to hug me. It goes so fast, doesn't it? Awesome haiku!

Life with the Lees said...

Wow! That's all I can really say right now. I have a 2 1/2 year old son, and I have had exact moments like you described. This was absolutely beautiful. I will definitely be a follower of your blog from now on!

Creative Junkie said...

That was a very very sad day.

It's too bad that it takes something like that to remind me how important it is to hug the stuffing out of my kids.

Pam said...

What a lovely and poignant poem. It brought back a lot of memories of when my girls were little.

Cher said...

Happy SITS day!

Camille said...

Beautifully written! I'm grateful for little reminders like these of how precious our little ones are! Mine are in their prime! I try to take advantage of every moment with them! :)

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Aww, sweet post!

Tiffany said...

I love this! Sometimes the best therapy is to just breathe in those babies. There is nothing better to me than cuddling with my daughter and snuggling, thinking about how blessed I am.

Mighty M said...

A very touching post about such a tough day for many of us.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Such beautiful wisdom!!

Sadiebug and her Mom said...

It's impossible to explain some parts of motherhood, but your poem actually articulated it. Have a great warm fuzzy SITS day!

thatgirlblogs said...

while I was reading your haiku, I was thinking of Madeline... and then realized later in the post that it was, in fact, the Spohrs you were blogging about.

Holding my babies tight.

adiaha said...

a tear just flowed down my face.....i kissed my little one.. Happy SITS day

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Beautiful!

Rebecca is Thrilled by the THought said...

I've also learned how important it is to just let go and enjoy the moments. He won't be cuddly forever, will he? Now I want to go wake up my sleeping babe and hold her!

thrilledbythethought{at}yahoo{dot}com

Kristin said...

Congrats on being Queen SITSa today! Very nice post.

(army)Wife said...

This such a beautiful post!

Joy said...

They do grow extremely fast.

Congrats again on your SITS day.

Karen MEG said...

Lovely haiku; and this is such a precious post.

It was a very sad day indeed when the world lost Maddie. Her parents are such amazingly strong people.

You keep on treasuring that little boy of yours. This is a great reminder that each and everyone of our kids is precious and that time does NOT stand still.

here from SITS

Laura said...

You have to cherish those moments when they are small, because they grow up so fast, and I can't imagine losing a child.

Happy SITS Day!

Michelle said...

Ah yes, I had this moment two nights ago. I normally don't mind laying with my son as he drifts off to sleep. It's something I've taught my little ones to expect. But I was so tired and I just wanted to relax. But as I lay cuddling him and he looked into my eyes and smiled at me...I was thankful for that moment with him.

Lacie E. said...

This was so so beautiful and made me so excited to get my son out of bed to hug him.

Little Miss Baker said...

I am looking at the Spohrs site right now and they are in my thoughts in prayers. Great post and thanks for sharing it with us on your special day! xo

Reluctant Housewife said...

Lovely poem

Bethany said...

What a beautiful, amazing post. I saw a little boy yesterday at a T-ball game who could have been Madeline's older brother...it about broke my heart.

Karen said...

That is so beautiful.

Nithya Praveen said...

LOvely poem!

Amy said...

What a beautiful post! It is amazing how we can sometimes take for granted the joys our little ones bring to us. I think I will cherish my little son a little bit more today. Thankyou for the reminder.

Norine said...

Stopping by from SITS! A great reminder to cherish those sweet snuggly moments -- they won't be babies forever. So nice.
Norine
Don't Put Lizards In Your Ears

Mira is triplet crown said...

It is important to stop sometimes and sit there with a moment with your kid. It's all to easy to rush through life and forget that it's about them sometimes!

Mountain Mama said...

I sat and cuddled my youngest (3yo) after his bath, wrapped up mummy style in his towel. Such a precious moment. It's not fair for time to take those moments away.

aforestfrolic said...

Yes, very hard week...so sad...and it does make us old our little ones a lot tighter and realize how special life is. And it's true, they grow up so fast...my 'baby' is, other 'baby' is 4 and the 'real baby' just turned 1. Where does the time go? Love you blog!

Jamie :)

Marrdy said...

Maddie's passing touch hundreds of lives and gave us a little more thought about our own children. You are right, they grow too fast. Someday you will turn around and your baby will be a teenager.

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

yes, that was a sad day indeed

the ungourmet said...

Really Lovely. I always cry and think of my own children when I read things like this!

You did such a wonderful job at expressing the feelings a mom has in her heart for her child.

Robin said...

Thoughts of Maddie still make me sad.

Hold tight to these day, moments you have

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

What wonderful words. Time goes too quickly with our kiddos and it's important to savor every moment. Enjoy your day in the SITS spotlight!

Why Mom Drinks Rum said...

Happy SITS day...and beautiful post. I miss those days.

Mammatalk said...

Beautiful and a good reminder!

Holly Noelle said...

"Now I try to hold
every moment, slow the clock
fill my heart with love"

Beautiful. That describes my every day with my baby girl.

Jo said...

What beautiful words.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My son is going to be 17 tomorrow. I know it sounds cliche, but it feels like yesterday and at the same time, another world ago that he was my baby boy.

Aleta said...

What a beautiful poem to capture a precious moment.

Sharon and Billy Blanks Jr. said...

The time goes by too quickly with children. Maybe that's why my husband and I stare at our son all the time. We want to take it all in because in a minute... you're looking at a grown person. Your post was beautiful as usual.
Love,
Sharon Catherine Blanks

B.o.B. said...

Loved the poem too.

Mel said...

Some days in Mommyville can make us come close to losing our minds, but the rewards are sooooo worth it! There's nothing like holding your sleeping child, listening to and feeling his steady breathing....nothin' like it!

Rachel said...

Very sweet. Beautiful.

Superjaxster said...

Beautiful Haiku :)

JanMary said...

Beautiful - off to check on my sleeping kids and give them an extra hug.

Thanks :)

The Redhead Riter said...

Nice poem.

Alluring Interiors said...

That was such a wonderful piece...very well written!

Kris said...

You have talent. Keep it up!!

Days of Whine & Noses said...

even when our kids drive us crazy, we feel blessed to have them

Mama Mair said...

Thank you! It's beautiful.
I'll hold my 4 month old that much closer now.

Mimi said...

You're such an awesome writer. Sam's so lucky he will have your words to look back on.

MARGARITA BLOOM said...

Saying hi from SITS....What a sweet post. Got me a little choked up.

Jeannie Finelli, RN said...

Precious moments to cherish forever.

Mural Maker said...

Hi from the Sits. I love your haiku. Funny how synchonistic things are. I was driving home from my Mom's tonight and thought, I need to start writing some prose or poetry for my greeting card line. Then I open my emails, link to your blog and find wonderful inspiration. Thanks again!

Helene said...

What a beautifully written post...from the Haiku in the beginning to your thoughts and explanations of it towards the end. It is a great reminder to hold our children tight!

Darcel said...

Beautiful Post. I have days like that too. I miss my oldest being 2, and I miss my 2 yr old being a baby. Where does the time go?

Rbarakat said...

Times flies quickly with our little ones, it's good to appreciate those little moments.

lbradshaw said...

Beautiful haiku! This is my first comment as a SITS girl!

SmartPumpkin'smom said...

Wonderful poem, SITSta!

MochaTrina said...

I love those moments too. My youngest is 11 and he still will try to snuggle on the couch with me. He's way to big but I don't discourage it. enjoy those moments. I will until he figures out he's outgrown me.

{Katie Lane} said...

Wow, your words speak volumes. So beautiful.

BlogBaby said...

There aren't words for moments such as these they are so much bigger than any words could express.

But thank you for trying to express the moment for you. Truly beautiful.

BlogBaby

the planet of janet said...

beautiful...

Kristen said...

Beautiful...and so true. Just reading your poem I imagined my girl's blond hair...and her scent.

Charmaine @ randalswife said...

That was so beautiful. I try to remember to cherish the time with my little boys. It won't be long before they no longer want to cuddle with their "Mama."

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