March 12, 2009

The Rest of the Story

So, this Chris Brown and Rihanna altercation has been all over the news. I admit that when I read it, I didn't really think much of it. I didn't really think about it, it seemed like just some other celebrity news. Well, you may have seen that new button over in my right sidebar about taking a pledge. I have been avidly reading a wonderful new website called Violence Unsilenced. It's run by Maggie of Okay, Fine, Dammit, and it's a place for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault to tell their stories, and for people to hopefully find courage and support. The other day, Maggie posted the rest of the story. Because I feel that this is very important, I'm going to re-post the section of the police affidavit she posted. This is reprinted from the official search warrant and affidavit in the domestic violence case involving Chris Brown and Rihanna (Robyn F.). Please know before you read it that this is a graphic description of a violent situation.

A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the vehicle causing an approximate one inch raised circular contusion. Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.


Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, “I’m going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!” Robyn F. picked up her cellular telephone and called her personal assistant, Jennifer [redacted]. [She] did not answer the telephone but while her voicemail greeting was playing, Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, “I’m on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.” (This statement was made while the greeting was playing and was not captured as a message.) After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, “You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!” Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown. Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand. Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa [redacted.] Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.


Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand. Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of [redacted] and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it. Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F’s left and right carotid arteries causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness. She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her.


While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet causing several contusions. Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police resopnse. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order (EPO.)

I couldn't help crying as I read this. It completely took my breath away. I wish that every magazine that has been publishing fluff pieces about this story would re-print this. It was a pretty big reality check for me. If I heard the same things about someone I knew, I would be completely and utterly heartbroken, and would do anything I could to help that person get away from this kind of abuse. I hope that Rihanna has a support system that will allow her to do the same. I don't think it's fair for anyone to judge her, so please don't do it here. I realize she has money and resources that others don't have, and that she doesn't have children or a marriage with this man. I also know that it must be hard as hell to have the whole world scrutinizing you, and that we don't know her or what her circumstances are. I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt, and she doesn't need anyone saying that she's not doing her duty by not leaving and publicly denouncing him.

This just reminds me how much can happen and then be glossed over. Whether it's a story getting around about how someone got pushed by their significant other and people thinking that's not a big deal or a sensationalized news story, this is a terrible abuse. I hope that people will stop supporting Chris Brown in any way. He doesn't deserve your money or your respect. I hope that this will be an opportunity for parents to talk to their children about domestic violence, what to do when someone crosses the line, and the amount of respect every human being deserves.

For more thoughts on this, please visit Maggie's post at Violence Unsilenced, Jodi's post at Mamapop, and Samantha's post at Canada Mom Blogs.


Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

This entire ordeal has been a little upsetting to me. She is teaching young girls that it is OK to have your man hit on you! Makes me sick to my stomach!!

Megan R. said...

I'll admit that I haven't followed this super closely. I have seen a pic of what she looked like afterwards, and she was a mess. I heard that she went back to him though (I don't know if it's true), and that I just don't get.

Mama Zen said...

This is so heartbreaking and frightening. Whether we like it or not, young girls look up to Rihanna as a role model. Her personal situation is her personal situation, but I hate the message it sends if she stays with an abusive man.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

This hits far too close to home for me. I'm sickened at the potential statement it sends to young girls who see her as a role model. But as a mother of a young woman not much younger than Rihanna herself, a daughter who has been the victim as has her mother, of abusive relationships, my heart breaks for her parents who have to watch this thing played out in the media.

Mama Zen is right though...and that sentiment alone is worthy of a discussion among parents everywhere.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Thank you so much for spreading this word. Honestly. I can't thank you enough.

And I hear what people are saying about the message Rihanna is sending by going back to CB, but I really wish there was more onus put on HIM, on his record label, on the media, on Nickelodeon for honoring him at the Kids' Choice Awards (though he has since withdrawn)... but mostly on HIM. She didn't do anything wrong, he did. Her going back to him is classic victim mentality. Most abused go back to their abusers several times, and focusing on her return is classic victim-blaming. Let's keep the focus on him and what he did, you know? I'll continue to pray that she gets out, but I'm not gonna judge her. She needs help.

Thanks again for posting this.