March 31, 2009

Drifting

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This week's theme for Heads or Tails Tuesday is See/Sea.

More days than not, I feel like I'm floating in a sea of uncertainty. Most of the time, I drift with the wind, I let the day and the weather carry me wherever it may go. Some days, it's sunny weather, and the tides moving me are barely noticeable. Other days, the sky fills with clouds and waves rock me as I wonder where the sea is carrying me.

Last week, I thought I may have discovered a solution to a problem we've been having, but as of today it's just another passing wave. It could still happen, but it doesn't seem likely. The truth is, last week the words came out of Justin's mouth: "We're officially poor now". Our backup is gone. As of next month, the boat that's been carrying us will start to fill with water. We won't be able to keep afloat on our own. The small amount we had set aside to patch the holes in our vessel will be gone, and our path will be more uncertain than it's ever been.

Some days the sun is so bright, it's hard to imagine that we're sinking. Some days, I hold my son tight, we splash in the water, we laugh together and his happiness overtakes me. He is blissfully unaware, and he reminds me that no matter whether we have a boat or not, as long as we are all together, we will survive.

I just wish that there was an island on the horizon.

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9 comments :

Lynn said...

I am hoping for a smooth and stable ride for you and your family. This was so well written.

Hootin' Anni said...

Amazing .... simply amazing how you wrote this. Tho, the stability is needed, you still say you WILL survive. That shows strength.

My Heads or Tails is all about the sea that surrounds me at home, and the Art Museum by the sea. Also, in a separate blog entry below my HoT, I have a Firefox Tip --if you use the Firefox Browser-- for SEEing images and documents enlarged without leaving the homepage. Stop by for a visit, won't you? Happy Tuesday.

Tricia said...

You might be amazed at how long you can keep a sinking ship afloat. I just bail whenever possible and try to remember that as long as I have my family the rest is extra.

Tabbikat's Thoughts

Skittles said...

I wish my comment could be worded as nicely as your post, but I'm going to flounder instead.

There is an island. There always is. It may not always be the one we hope to find.. but it is there.

Mama Wheaton said...

Really well written, I can feel your worry and I can honestly say that we are in a different boat but the same crisis. Hold fast, you won't drown and let the smiles of your child be your anchor.

Tumblewords: said...

Well written post - having weathered many a crisis and sinking boats, I can only surmise that the island you reach won't be the same one you left ...survival is a very good thing and children make it worthwhile! Good luck!

Robyn Jones said...

Very well written...I wish the best for you and your family...I also know what you mean as we are going through the same thing right now...We just narrowly avoided financial disaster this month....Children do bring back in the sun though....dont they?? :)

Dumblond said...

It's pretty amazing that you are able to write about something so personal. And to write about it so beautifully.
I am keeping you in my thoughts. I hope things start to work out for the better for you and your family.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Painfully beautiful.

I think we are in a similar boat.

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