March 24, 2009

Day by Day

I know her blog. I have never spoken with her, or met her, but a path lead me through Auds to Proposal 2.0 today. I am a sucker for romance, for grand gestures, and for THOSE stories. The stories of two people, separated by whatever circumstance, who come together to find each other again. The stories of how an amazing man figured out just the right way to pop THAT question. I cry when I hear proposal stories. I can't help it.

First, I read Aud's post. And the tears started. Then I headed back to Mr. Linky and started to read. My heart was full. So were my eyes. Of tears... Sometimes, it takes reading about love to remember the depth of your own.

I met Justin when I was 19. Just turned 19. He was 19 1/2. After dating for a month, we moved in together. We were together all the time, and it just seemed stupid to be paying rent at 2 places. Within 2 months we both talked about getting married. We didn't tell anyone else, we weren't crazy, we knew that people would think WE were crazy if they heard marriage out of our mouths at that point. Justin proposed to me in Arizona when we were 21 and 20. I wish I had a beautiful story, but all I remember is the beauty that surrounded us, beside a small stream in beautiful woods in Sedona, Arizona. I can't remember what he said, but I know I was happy. When I called my Mom, she told me that she thought we were too young.

We had a long engagement, and we were 23 and 22 when we got married. We were surrounded by people we loved, and were married by Justin's brother. We started trying for a baby right away, and had Sam when we were 25. We'll be 29 this year, and in December we will celebrate 10 years since our first date.

It's hard to give advice to people I don't know very well, but of some things I am sure.

Be yourself. You can have each other, and you can be together, but still maintain your own identity.

Don't go into marriage lightly. We know that for us, divorce is not an option. We have already been through trials, and we know that this is not just fun, but work. I can't imagine anything that would be able to rip us apart. And I love it that way, because I'm not worried about our relationship - it is never something that worries me, instead it's an incredible foundation when the rest of our lives are stressful.

Don't doubt yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think about how long you've known each other, whether it's time to get married, how you parent your child, or how you deal with snags that arise in your relationship. It doesn't matter. Trust each other, trust your instincts. You know what is right for you and your family, and in the end, that's what matters.

Nourish your relationship. You'll be parents together, but that's not everything. Take time to spend time as a couple that's just about you two. Happier couple = happier people = happier parents!

I don't know everything, but I do know how incredible it can be to find someone you can be excited about spending the rest of your life with. A friend, a lover, a co-parent, a confidant and supporter.

How lucky was I that I met him at only 19? People don't believe in lasting love for people so young. But we grew together, we discovered life together. And now I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I picture us growing old together . Travelling the country by car after Sam is grown. I look at the couples I know who have been together for 30, 40, 50 years, and they inspire me incredibly. One day, I hope I'll inspire someone that way. But I'm in no hurry - I'm enjoying it day by day. I hope that you do the same! Only 2 more hours and we'll be able to really say congratulations & celebrate... here.


foolery said...

That was really special, especially to someone like myself who would have been a miserable failure at marriage at such a young age. Mature in some ways, incredibly immature in anything related to marriage. Kudos to you for making it work and making it beautiful.

-- Laurie @ Foolery

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Oh good grief, I did not thing I could cry any more after Tuesday. I had such a sappy/happy/romance hangover when I woke up yesterday...and then I come out here, and well, here we go again.

Beautiful post Rachael...I'm really glad you contributed to MommyPie and The Boy's big day. Wasn't it awesome!