February 12, 2009

Octuplets? Not an option!

Well, everyone is talking about it. I haven't written anything here about the Suleman octuplets because I have a really hard time thinking about it. In fact, I don't think it would be too strong to say that I am enraged by the whole situation. There are SO MANY things wrong about the situation that I barely even know where to start.

In case you've been hiding in a closet, here are the facts:
  • Californian Nadia Suleman has had six in vitro fertilizations that resulted in four single-births, one set of twins and the octuplets.
  • All six IVF implantations were done by the same doctor.
  • Suleman is divorced and unemployed, and lives with her parents.
  • Supposedly she is planning to go back to school and finish her master's degree and work as a counselor.
  • The hospital stay for her six premature newborns will cost upwards of $1.5 million.
  • The California Medical Board is investigating the doctor who implanted the latest six embryos to see if there was a violation of the standard of care.
  • Suleman is collecting almost $500 a month in food stamps.
  • Three of her older children are disabled, and undoubtedly there will be some problems with the octuplets.
This is such a hot mess that I don't even know where to begin. How about with this fuck-up of a doctor who decided he should implant her with six embryos when she already had six children, three of whom are disabled? I know that this is a controversial opinion, but I believe that if you are going to take the risk of implanting that many embryos, you need to be willing to do selective reduction if they all take. If you are not willing to do that, fine, don't get six embryos implanted at once. We never did IVF for many reasons, one of which being oh hells no, I did not want triplets. Twins, maybe. Triplets? Oh holy hell. Octuplets? NOT AN OPTION!

On a related note, who the fuck paid for all this IVF? It's $20,000 or more per IVF cycle. How did she get that much money? Wouldn't it have been more responsible to save some of the money she spent to take care of her younger children instead of being on food stamps and living with her parents? Beyond that, who is going to pick up this several million dollar bill for her hospital stay? She may be denying that she's on welfare now, but after she brings home her eight new babies? You bet your ASS that she is going to be on welfare soon.

AND... Loralee made a really good point:

"As for the father of her 14 kids, it is the same man. A friend who donated. So, what about her “donor-friend” and his responsibilities? This is not some anonymous guy who jerks off in a cup to help infertile couples or put himself through med school. This is someone who KNEW she already had SIX of his kids and somehow thought it was a good idea to keep it going, despite her history.

I remember a suit for child support of a sperm donor some time back and I totally disagreed with it. I feel with anonymous sperm bank donation, that responsibility ends there. THIS IS DIFFERENT. If she collects or tries to collect Medicaid or welfare, I absolutely think that they should go after this guy."

On to the pregnancy itself... I'm sorry, but there is a ton of risk involved in a multiples pregnancy. Twins or triplets are risky enough, but octuplets? She put her own life and the life of every single one of those eight babies at risk. How could you have six children, but put your health at risk that way?

This mother insists she is going to be able to take care of her children when she be a counselor. I'm wondering what type of counselor she is planning on becoming that she thinks she is going to make so much money?

I'm not against large families necessarily. There is nothing in me that at all understands WHY anyone would want to have 14, 18, 20 children. I would not want it. EVER. I have ONE, and sometimes I can barely even keep control here. There are certain aspects that I personally don't believe in - by having that many kids, the older kids are forced to act as caretakers, nannies, and surrogate parents to the younger children. It is impossible for two parents to take care of that many kids on their own.

However, you look at a family like the Duggars, and they are self sufficient. They own and run a successful business, they make their own clothes, they shop smartly, and all of their children were conceived naturally. I don't GET it, but whatever.

This is a completely different situation. This is a person who was unable to have children without having her eggs taken out, fertilized, and put back in. She chose to do that multiple times. She chose to put all of her children into a poor childhood. She chose to put them into a less than ideal living situation. She chose a path for her older children that will undoubtedly involve growing up too soon to help parent their younger siblings. She chose to saddle her parents with some of the responsibilities, which they will be forced to take on whether they like it or not.

It's irresponsible.

What do you think?


Rachael said...

the situation is kind of nuts, i agree. i think that the dr. is irresponsible and i think the mother needs some serious psychiatric help.

but i do want to say, that triplets really aren't so bad. in fact, i love mine quite a bit and think they are buckets of fun.

Mama Wheaton said...

I think she should be found to be nan unfit mother and let someone else raise the children. The Dr., the donor and the mother should be brought up on some kind of charges for endangerment and neglect. Though I must say we are not against large familes we have 6 kids and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

You read my post on the subject....http://abritandabit.typepad.com/spotted_dick_and_other_mu/2009/02/id-like-8-babies-please-with-a-side-of-poverty-a-dash-of-infamy-and-a-smattering-of-public-assistanc.html So you know how I feel. All I can say to this, AMEN and AMEN! This entire situation is just drowning in lunacy!

Dumblond said...

Hot mess?! hehehehe. You must be a Chelsea Handler fan too!
Every time I see this woman on TV, I get pissed. I don't buy that crap about growing up a single child and she was lonely so that's why she wanted so many kids. I call shenanigans!
She is all about the attention. And she is getting it. Regardless if it's negative or not, she's still getting attention. I don't think she gives a damn about her kids. She's doing this for herself. Crazy, sick woman.

Megan R. said...

I completely agree! The scariest part is that I seriously think she has some mental instability, and yet is the main caregiver for 14 kids, several of whom are disabled? The poor kids, they didn't choose to be put in this position. I think the kids should be taken away from her. Now it's the tax payers money who is going to support HER irresponsible choices!