February 25, 2009

Bedtime Blues: Toddler Edition

I am really hating this transition to the big boy bed. It is physically painful to me to sit in the living room (RIGHT around the corner from where he is, because our house is the size of a VW Van) and listen to him cry and say "Mama come back". I absolutely hate it.

Right now he is standing only a short distance away from me, seperated by a while crying and saying "come on, come on". I can see him in the mirror behind me, his bedroom door doesn't have a lock on it or anything. He doesn't always open the door, but tonight he did. We have a gate up in the doorway so even if he opens the door he can't come out into the rest of the house. Justin just went in there and I could hear Sam telling him to "lay down". Justin is going to lay with him for one song, maybe I will get a 2 minute rest from the crying, but I fear that once Justin comes back out, it'll just be more crying and begging.

It sucks so much that I have a hard time putting it in words, and some nights I find myself with tears in my eyes.

At the same time, I know that laying in his bed with him every night until he falls asleep is not a good option. It might be easier, sometimes. But it also means I get less time to myself after Sam goes to bed because I'm laying in there with him, and then I'm so tired when I come out that I don't really get anything done. Since he got the bed, we haven't been strict about it, but it's time.
We need to be able to tuck him in and leave him to put himself to sleep because it really affects what happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night. If he has been going to be on his own, he can sooth himself and put himself back to sleep when he wakes up during the night. The nights I fall alseep in bed with him, he wants me to come in and lie with him until he falls asleep again in the middle of the night.

It's harder for me than for Justin, he's more able to look at it logically and knows there's an end goal in sight.

We've been here before. We've done cry-it-out before and it worked. I know that if we keep this up for a couple of weeks, it will most likely even out, he'll start going to bed on his own and it will be completely awesome.

Justin just came back out, and all is quiet. Maybe he's going to sleep on his own. In the long run, it's not a huge trama. It's just that it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel while I listen to my baby crying.


Mimi said...

Ugh, one of the hardest parts of parenting a little one, the "let them learn to put themselves to sleep phase."

All I can say is that you're doing the right thing & it will work. And I know how much it sucks to hear him cry every night. I hated those nights.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

We have been having an AWFUL time transitioning Imp to her BIG GIRL BED and she's THREE!

The first night she was so tired that it was really easy and she crashed, just like that. The second night was Sunday and it was hell! Our power went out and we were amidst a hellacious blizzard. It's been a nightmare ever since. Especially since of of the past 4 nights has been spent in a hotel.

We always cave in. Especially daddy. I can't stand to hear her cry like that. And to think she was sooooo excited about the change. Last night was so bad that she ended up in bed with us.

Tonight though, tonight we are going to let her fuss. We have to. Otherwise this is going to end up badly...as in her sleeping with us forever!

Todd X. said...

Do they still sell paregoric? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paregoric

Aren't I evil? ;-)

tiffiny tennyson said...

My daughter never read the 'Rule Books' so she just went by what was best and easiest for her when it comes to raising her childre. Sometimes the GUT knows best!
She nursed, so it was easier for her to have the baby in the family bed. That way when the baby woke for a feeding she just plugged him in. Everyone was happy. The children naturally migrated to their own bed around 2-3yrs old. It happened gradually. They would put them to bed after they fell asleep and if the children woke later and came back to their parent's bed that was fine. Eventually they just stayed all night in their own bed. Now, you have to realize that all this was fine with dad because that is what he is, a real DAD. Just love them and trust your gut. It will then all come naturally. Grandma Tiffiny