January 9, 2009

Planting a Seed

Haiku Friday

Today, I plant a
seed - a new beginning to
nurture and to grow

The journey is not
through, but this leg has to end
it's time to move on

I have no map, and
do not know where the new road
will lead me from here

But I see a light
and I know that it leads to
a better place, love

It came to me on a random afternoon.

Days before, I'd received a reminder of your love.

Weeks before, I'd received a reminder that you were nothing more than a human being.

It came to me so clearly that I immediately recognized it as truth.

I have to forgive you.

You have caused me pain.

You have caused much more pain to others that I love.

I don't agree with your actions, but I can't base our entire relationship around this past.

I wish you had not done some of the things you did.

But they happened. Nothing can be done.

I need to forgive you.

I don't want to spend my time and energy on anger. I don't want to spend my life trying to make sense of this - it doesn't make any sense to me. Your actions don't fit into my patterns of thinking.

I won't defend you.

I won't pretend that the things you have done didn't hurt people.

I won't pretend that it's okay.

But I will move on.

I will move into experiencing the future as something else.

A new relationship will be formed. Ideas and preconceptions thrown out the window will pass by the wayside, and something else will take their place.

I have to forgive you because I don't want you to be alone.

Some loves really ARE unconditional. I accept my love, and realize that I should spend my energy cultivating that.

So, I'm done. I'm not going to be angry anymore. Instead, I will try to be supportive of everyone I love, separate from each other.

I will love everyone for their good qualities, and I will try to help them with the bad, if they want my help.

I will provide support in any way I can, and in the areas I can't, I will wait patiently until my help is wanted or needed. Even if the time never comes.

So, this is it.

I forgive you.

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maggie's mind said...

Sounds like a tough struggle that too many of us have had to sort out in our own ways. Hope you do what is best for you in the long run. Hugs!

Mama Wheaton said...

Making choices is everyone's right but making good choices is everyone's responsibilty.

Dumblond said...

That was deep. Sounds like you are facing a hard decision.
Here's to you. Be strong.

Mimi said...

Wow, what a great post.

Valerie said...

Hope everything works out. Loved the post.

Rachel said...


That was beautiful.
Good luck.

Vixen said...

Forgiving is often thought to be done for others, but really must be done for yourself. Great job.