January 21, 2009

A Letter to Myself at 18 (by Auds!)

Awwww, back in the Pacific Northwest again! I can thaw out for a bit out here and get my fill of Twilight land and get a chance to chill at Rachael's place whilst she's on holiday. Rachael has an awesome flat! She's got more movies than anyone I know and she was thoughtful enough to make sure there was a ice cold 6 pack in the fridge for me. OF COKE!

Rachael, thanks for letting me hang at your place today. I love my visits here and am so flattered you let me guest post for you!

Dear 18 year old Auds:

Looking back, there are so many things I want to tell you. Not many people are given the gift of getting a swift kick in the ass from their older selves…don't take it for granted and LISTEN to what I say!

First and foremost, dump MRF! Seriously. And when he tells you that if you give that engagement ring back; you'll be reading about him smashed into a million pieces because he drove his truck off PCH 101, call his bluff. Stop the madness with MHF now before it irrevocably changes your life in ways you'll never heal from. Getting married at 18 is stupid. You're too young and immature to handle the myriad responsibilities and challenges life is going to throw at you. You've already made one monumental mistake while hooked up with him... Another loss looms large and painful unless you get rid of him.

Dumping MRF means you can take advantage of those mad archery skillz you have. Bring it girl! I promise, if you do, you'll bring home a gold medal. Maybe not in '88 but definitely in Barcelona in '92!

If by some chance you do end up marrying MRF after all, when you do divorce him, oh and you will, it's only a matter of time, fight like hell to keep the kids. Don't believe what anyone else says about your ability to parent your children. You know better! Don't back down. Don't take the threats of others...they are just that, threats!

Get rid of the asymmetrical hair cut. Either grow it out, or even it out. Better yet, just don't do it in the first place. Oh and whilst we're talking about your hair…you're going to be tempted to start colouring your naturally gorgeous golden brown hair. You're going to pick up a box of black hair dye. PUT IT BACK! Just step away from the hair care shelves and forget about it! The "Morticia Look" was not a good look for you. When asleep, you could have been mistaken for a corpse.

Write to G more often. One of these days you're going to marry this man. He is wonderful! I can't say that loudly enough or often enough. By this point you two have been pen-pals for more than 6 years. You have an amazing friendship. You'll come to a point into your life where you really understand things better. Oh and get this…when you do finally hook up with him, you'll finally discover what all the hoopla over sex is about. You only thought you knew what it was like before. Take my word for it…you didn't! By making more than a once monthly effort (seriously Auds, he sent you three, sometimes FOUR letters a month!), when you do finally realize you've been kissing too many toads and that Prince Charming was standing there all along, you'll be ready. However, you won't be ready until your 30, maybe older.

One of the best times of your life will be sharing the home in Bothell, WA with the three male roommates you had. Take more of their advice. They knew what they were talking about. And don't be afraid to hang out and have fun with them every once in a while. How many other women get the opportunity to share a home with three guys who aren't all trying to get in her pants and help her ward off the ones who are?

You work too much. Two, sometimes three jobs, and school? Sow some wild oats. Lighten up. Don't take yourself so seriously. Let loose. Party a little, but keep your head on your shoulders. Hardcore partying never fascinated you; don't let it start now.

Oh, and for God's sake, take CFs advice and don't let radio be your entire world. At some point you're going to become disenchanted with the suits behind the music and you won't want to play the "branding" game. It won't be about the music any more. Be prepared for when that day happens. And whatever you do, don't stop writing. You're going to be presented with opportunities to publish several times. Don't let fear of rejection and others not liking your work influence you to say no. When someone wants to publish what you've written, say YES! Say it loudly and proud!

Oh and Peter Steel? Babe, he is not all he's cracked up to be. You DO NOT want to have sex with him. The opportunity will arise…just say NO! Don't just say no, wear track shoes and run like your ass is on fire as far away from him as possible. Yeah, he's scary. And not in a good way!

Be flexible, patient, and tolerant.

Smile more.

Worry less.

Sleep more.

Learn to accept compliments with grace and gratefulness rather than awkwardness.

Talk less.

Listen more.

Take care of your body. Take care of your voice. Your voice is what you're going to get by on for almost 15 years.

Write. Write everything, everyday. It's always been part of your soul. Feed this talent, tend it like you would a prize winning garden. Take care of the special place in your heart and soul where this talent resides.

One day, when you're ready, you're going to give birth to some amazing children. They're going to be beautiful, smart and the best things in your life. Hold onto them with everything you have. They are your center and you are theirs.



Guess what? This is Auds second time guest posting for me, which makes her extra special! You may not be surprised to find out that I love her - I DID ask her back, didn't I? Auds normally resides over at casa Barking Mad with her gorgeous daughters Megawatt & The Little Imp. Sometimes she's funny, sometimes she makes me think, but she's always honest and real. Plus, even in her times of darkness, she has been sweet and supportive of me when I needed it as well! Basically, she rocks.


amy2boys said...

This is a good letter. Do you think you would have listened?

I was stupid, and likely too stupid to listen if I'd received a magical letter to myself. Then again, as a believer in magical things, maybe it would have given me pause. I wish something would have you know?

The only way to really do this I think is to give our daughters advice. And we all know how well that typically goes. ~le sigh~

Linda said...

Not a bad letter to listen to today, don't you think? Excellent post!

Mimi said...

Great letter. How much we didn't appreciate ourselves when we were young.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Amy - I don't know if I would have listened. I almost think, I would have had a "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" type moment and been all; "duuuuuude, it's like, a letter, from the FUTURE!!!"

And you're right, by giving our daughters advice we hopefully help prevent some of our own mistakes, remaking themselves.

Linda - awwww thanks! Yeah, it would probably behoove me to listen to it today as well.

Mimi- You are so right...if the young only had a way of looking forward just a bit. *sigh*

Kori said...

I had a lot of fun doing a similar letter to myself, but I doubt I would have listened wither. I really enjoyed this, and I keep hearing about you from people but don't ever read you. Wonder why?

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Kori - thanks! Well, I dunno why you aren't reading me either! Come on over and say hello. We don't bite...bark? Yeah, but so far no biting. *lol*

Anonymous said...

I swear, if I could go back and just SEE my 18 year old self...well, I'd probably bitch slap her. Me, I mean me, or is that Her? *ugh* *sigh* I may have then revisited myself at 23, just for a swift kick in the arse though. Good Letter Auds!

3boys247 said...

Auds, I love it! What a great letter. Your writing is amazing. I wonder too, would you have listened? It reminds me of the Brad Paisley song, "Letter to Me."

Headless Mom said...

Great stuff, Auds. I wonder if we would have listened to ourselves back in '88?