I've spent the past eight years guarding myself. I guard my eyes and ears by not turning on the news, not reading news articles. When I hear the sound of his voice, I cringe. When he is on the T.V., I change the channel. Last November, I let my guard down. I let myself believe that the huge mistake that had been made four years prior was over. I let myself believe that something wonderful was about to happen, that our recovery could begin. I let my guard down, and I was knocked down. I was wrong.
This year though... I'll let my guard down again. I will watch. I will surround myself with other people who have let their guard down, and we will hope together. And instead of guarding ourselves, we will build a circle and we will watch together. Some of us will pray, some of us will pace. And we will wait. We will let our guard down, and hope that tomorrow we won't have to raise it again because it won't be necessary.