June 30, 2008

Prosthetic scrotums and other things that annoyed me this week

That's right, I am talking about truck balls. What's that? You don't know what I mean? You've never been driving around and seen something hanging from a pickup truck and thought, "hey, that sort of looks like a ball sack - holy shit, that IS a ball sack!"? That's right people. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is what I'm talking about:

WTF?? Who in their right mind decided that it was OKAY for men to hang PROSTHETIC SCROTUMS from their vehicles, which drive in public places? I mean, I don't know about you, but I do not want to have to explain this to anyone, including my child or grandparent. I mean, if you had a fake penis hanging from there, people would be outraged. That is just GROSS people. Was the full sized pickup not enough compensation for your not full sized package? Not okay.

That was just one of the things that annoyed me on my trip to the grocery store yesterday. Then, I got there. Do you know what I found? I turned a corner in the grocery store just in time to watch the following pass me by: a cart with three kids, maybe 1.5, 3, and 5 years old, being pushed by a visibly pregnant woman (who was definitely a little bit bigger even sans beachball baby belly), in a BATHING SUIT! And nothing else. Well, flip flops. And this wasn't just any bathing suit. It was a two piece with a small bikini top and skirt bottom. She was not wearing CLOTHES in the grocery store. Um... who does that? I mean, I get wearing jeans and a bathing suit top when you're a cute college student, or even an in-shape yoga doin' older woman. But c'mon lady. Put a shirt on. This is Fred Meyer, not the beach...

I got home to find that our neighbors are still watering their lawn. I'm pretty sure they've had a sprinkler going non-stop for the last few days. I know that it's hot. I know that it's hurting the grass. But that is NATURE people. I admit that my husband forced me to buy a sprinkler yesterday, but the only reason is that we are renters and it's in our lease to take care of the lawn and bring it to the standards of the neighborhood. It's just that I don't agree with the standards. Watering the lawn is such a freaking waste of water. Yeah, I know it goes back into the Earth. but then to get more drinking water, all of that water that flowed back into the water supply has to be re-filtered, and re-pumped into our houses. It's a waste of time and energy, and it just annoys me.

The final thing that's bugging me right now is that my house is like a freakin' sauna. I am sitting here in a tank top and cotton shorts and am sweating. Unfortunately the living room, where we spend most of our time, is the hottest room in the house due to an east facing window and no circulation or windows that open. Our bedroom is a little better, but not a ton. The kitchen seems to be coolest with the window and back door open. Today it was 84 in here. We're thinking about getting a small air conditioner for our bedroom soon. I am afraid that it's just going to get hotter this summer, so we definitely need to do something.

Also, our refridgerator scared the shit out of me last night by NOT WORKING for a couple of hours. Agh! I had just gone shopping on a BIG trip and filled it up, and it would have been really awful if it had stopped working. Luckily just as our landlord arrived with a small fridge for us to use and an offer to put all our freezer stuff in his freezer, it kicked on again. We think it was just overworked because of the heat and then being open while I put the groceries away.

To wrap it up, here are some things that did not annoy me this week: My son, who had the best, happiest week that I can remember. He was happy all week, laughing happy. Meeting my neighbor, who has a weiner dog named Low Down who is cute and very friendly, and talking with her a little and finding she has a five year old grandaugther who we can get together to play with Sam. Having dinner tonight with my new friend Amy and her husband and son, who is also named Samuel, and having a great time despite Sam freaking a little when we first got there.

Also... Justin and I are celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary on July 12, and here's what our AWESOME week looks like so far. Church in Seattle at our old, beloved church on the 6th, then Sam is going to visit his Grandma Deanna for a couple of days, on Wednesday the 9th she'll bring him home, then on Friday the 11th Sam will be with Grandma Edie & Grandpa Paul while Justin and I head to Seattle for 2 nights, including the hour long massages I just scheduled for us on Saturday afternoon (Botanical Fusion for me, Deep Tissue for him). Ahhhh... I can't wait!


Petite G. said...

I saw those ball sacks the other day too and was completely grossed out. I mean really people. Really. It's just disturbing. I think it rates up there with that stupid picture of Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes comic) pissing on something. I hate that thing.

Your annoyances are totally mine too but man, a happy kid trumps all that any day. Lucky you.

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

First off if you lived in Alabama you could be arrested for displaying balls. Second I have seen this lady at the grocery store. I'd bet ya she thinks this is sexy, Yeah OK GROSS, PLEASE we would like to shop without the display of nudity (prego belly's).

It really hot here, but we all have ac or we couldn't survive.

Rachael said...

Petite: I HATE those Calvin pissing pictures too! He's a little kid, with an imaginary tiger friend - why would someone DO that to him?

Confessions: I just read your post about the AL legislature and their ridiculousness with sex toys - I bet you totally could get arrested for truck balls! Or at least fined. Unfortunately WA is supposed to be not so hot, so not as many people have ac here, although I am dying for it right now!

Honeybell said...

I HATE the truck balls. Can we say compensating???

and pregnant women shopping in swim suits?? creepy.

Ramblin' Red said...

OMG - hate the balls too. Think they are obscenely disgusting.

Found you through allmediocre.

Immoral Matriarch said...

:( So nasty.

Nap Warden said...

Those are over the top stoopid! I gotta say, I haven't seen them in the Big City up north (thank God).

auds at barking mad said...

OMG that's kinda funny, about the testicle tow bar cover. Only because I just saw this the other day...


Yeah, those are testicle implants for your neutered pet. UNFREAKING REAL!

There are just no words.

Seriously though, scrotum tow bar covers are the ultimate in redneck poor taste!

And about the preggo in the bathing suit..maybe she was on some sort of medication. I dont know of anything else that would explain such a lack of fashion-judgement.

Heather said...

Yuck I saw those balls (but in brass color)one day with my mom and I was hoping it was just that one freak with them! I am pregnant with 3 kids those ages too but I NEVER go anywhere but our backyard pool in my bathing suit! It wasn't me!

Mrs4444 said...

Well, Seattle and massages trump all that other crap, right? (I hope they did, anyway.)

Here's hoping things in your area have cooled off--That sounds miserable!