January 31, 2006

27 Weeks Tomorrow

Lots going on, and nothing at the same time. I had a good weekend, although I'll never get back the 2 hours of my life I spent at the theater watching "Match Point". It was not the worst movie I've ever seen, but also it wasn't good. I just left from it thinking 'what was the point of that?'.

On Sunday I finished the blanket I was working on for Sam. There's a picture of it in the photo album, it took a while, but I really like it and I was really happy to finish it!

Today I got a package from Clara Ruth. When I opened it, it was a little chair (see photo album). There is a story behind it, which was written in the card. The inscription - "This little antique rocker was John's (my grandpa), given to him about 1930. It has been kept in it's original condition. I think he would be pleased to know this chair is going to his first grandchild's first child. Please care for it, treasure it, so that it can be passed on to your great grandchild. May all go well for you and the new addition. I ask for God's blessing on you all.". Needless to say, somebody was all teared up, and it wasn't Justin. It is an adorable little chair - so tiny! in the picture I put it next to my glider to try and show how small it is. It's like having a little piece of my family's history! It's incredible to think about my grandpa as a little guy sitting in that chair. It was such a thoughtful gift. I can't really say much else with words.

I had a minor pregnant lady breakdown yesterday... it's so weird. I got upset over something stupid, and at the same time I am getting upset and teary, I know in my mind that it's totally irrational, but I still can't help it. Somehow, arranging dinner with our friends, and not commiting right away to babysitting translates to "I'm going to disappoint everybody and they wont' like me.". HA! Luckily I actually think that it's pretty funny.

Things are still going well. Well, I weighed myself this morning and if our scale is right (which it may or may not be), I have gained a whole 1/2 pound since my last appointment. I guess it's better than losing weight, but I'm starting to be a little bit of a worrywart about it. Oh well. I know if my doctor was really worried, I would have had another ultrasound sooner than my next appointment. Anyhow, it's not like I d idn't have weight to spare when I started out.

I am not worried about Sam because I can tell he's growing and getting stronger. It's funny because people talk about feeling little flutters and things for a while before they really feel the baby. But because of the position of the placenta and everything, I didn't feel Sam moving until pretty late, and I think it started out with really feeling him move! I feel him move all the time now, throughout the day and at night. Justin felt it for the first time the other night, and it happens often enough that he can feel it every day if he wants to. We are both fascinated by being able to SEE him move, which just started the other day! It's great. Well, I guess it only took 25 weeks for me to get to the part of pregnancy that I'm really enjoying! Well, I'm off to bed soon, I'll write more again soon!

Oh - also, I was very excited to read my Mom's journal entry about the shoes. They sound great!
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January 25, 2006

OH MY GOSH!

In fourteen weeks I am going to have a BABY! Fourteen weeks used to seem long a long time. Three months used to seem like a long time. Not anymore... It seems really short now.

I don't know what happened last weekend, but suddenly I feel REALLY pregnant. I can't bend over, I was sitting on the floor of my office filing on Monday because I could bend over to reach the bottom drawer. I can't cross my arms anymore because either my belly is in the way, or they sit on top of it, which is very uncomfortable. I can't pick things up/carry things the way that I used to. It's like it all just came on very suddenly. On Monday I was so uncomfortable that by 3:00 I literally could not sit in my office chair anymore and had to try to work standing up. Luckily a guy from our IT department sacrificed his chair for me to use, which is nicer than the one I had. On Monday at the end of the day, I felt like I had a watermelon in my stomach and it was about to pop out the front of my body.

I'm definitely not complaining! I like feeling more pregnant and not just 'not normal', and I definitely like looking pregnant. Also, I'm feeling Sam move all the time now. I can feel it when I'm sitting or standing, and I feel it throughout the day instead of just at night. It's still strongest when I'm lying down, and last night I could forsee a future of being bruised on the inside... Last night, Justin finally felt it! It's hard because usually there is a while between movements, so I tell Justin to feel it and it just doesn't happen. But last night he was moving a lot, so Justin put his hand on my stomach and felt Sam move. He was happy!

I'm starting to feel like I really need to "do stuff", but I don't know what. We don't have a TON to do to get ready - mostly it's getting the stuff we need into our house. I just need to make a list so we can start doing some shopping. I'd rather do a little at a time than one giant trip I think.

I posted a picture of myself in the photo album, and on the welcome page. It's from yesterday after I got home from work. Speaking of work, it's time for me to start doing that now! More soon...
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January 19, 2006

Short Update

I have been having a pretty good week at work getting caught up on things. I still have a lot to do, but it's at least a little bit less overwhelming.

In the last couple of days, I haven't felt Sam much at night, but I've felt him sometimes during the day when I'm sitting or standing. It's pretty faint - if I didn't know what it was I don't know if I'd notice it every time. It's really cool to feel him move though. I can't wait to meet him!

My Mom is coming down this weekend to visit, so I will get to hang out with her. I haven't seen her for a month, since before Christmas. My belly keeps growing - I'll try to post a picture in the next couple days.
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January 15, 2006

Sixth Month Pregnancy Reflections

Buying maternity clothes was:
frustrating for the most part. Many maternity stores think that pregnant women magically don't grow beyond a size L or XL. I went to Lane Bryant today and bought a couple of pairs of pants that are bigger, so I'll try them on later tonight and see how they work. I still have a lot more exploring to do in this area though...

The biggest change in my body has been:
Losing so much weight (35 pounds), and gaining some back in other places. Also, my belly button. See more below.

My favorite change in my body has been:
My belly slowly flatening out. My belly button is definitely less than half as deep as it used to be, and I don't know why, but that is really funny and fascinating to me.

What I never thought would change was:
That I would start to look more pregnant instead of just fat.

At this month's prenatal visit I learned that:
I will have to take the gestational diabetes test in four weeks, and drink some kind of crazy syrupy drink. Yuck. Also that I'm still losing weight, which isn't necessarily terrible, but maybe not great either.

My hopes:
That my weight loss will start to turn around. That I'll start feeling Sam move more often. That I will be able to get all the BIG stuff done before April so I can enjoy my time off, since I won't get any more for a few years.

My fears:
Everything involved in the actual labor and birth process... I'm hoping the labor and delivery class I finally got us signed up for will help in that area.
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Getting Started

I'm at work with Justin right now (yes, on Sunday). He came in to work for a few hours, and I went and did some shopping then came to hang out here, play on the internet and read a book while he finishes what he's doing. Unfortunately I just wrote a whole journal entry, then lost the whole thing because of something on the computer I'm working on. Sigh... well, here it is again...

I made some good progress this weekend around the house. In the last couple of weeks I've really been feeling like I want to start organizing stuff, and getting things done. I would really like to get the major organizing and making space in the house done before April so that during that month I can just relax and do what I want. Basically, spend a little bit of time in the weeks before Sam gets here just hanging around with friends and family and having 'me time', since it will be the last time for a while! So, here is what I've done so far:

- Went through the living room and put aside some things to get boxed and go to the storage unit, including a bunch of books. There's a lot of stuff around I don't want to get rid of, but we just don't have much room right now.

- Took a grocery sack full of books and sold it to the used book store.

- Bought another DVD shelf and transferred all of our DVDs to it. I was starting to shop around for a 'kid stuff' shelf - basically I wanted a shelf that could hold a bunch of plastic bins to put stuff in and still keep it organized and be able to see it. Then I realized that if I got another DVD shelf, it would free up the entire bookcase. I cleared off 2 shelves on our other bookcase as well, so we now have 8 free shelves in the living room to use. I'll post pictures tonight, so check the photo album soon!

- Got plastic bins for the shelves in the living room for baby toys and STUFF, including large ones that are now holding clothing, but can be used for other things later.

- Went through the giant mound of baby clothes in the living room and seperated them out, so now I know exactly what is newborn, 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, and 9+. We have very full bins of 3-6 and 6-9, and a fairly full 0-3 bin. I think we should get a few more newborn sized things. There was not much hand-me-downs since Seamus is where we got them, and he was a pretty big baby! I don't know how big Sam will be, so it's good to have supplies just in case!

The other cool thing is that I've definitely been feeling Sam moving around! It's more consistant now, although not regular. I have only been able to feel him while lying down, although last night I felt him move when I was at the movie theater. Usually I feel him in the evening between 7 and 10 when I'm lying on the couch or in bed. I am able to recognize it now, and it feels more like someone pushing at me in there! It's exciting! It's also reassuring to feel him move, and to usually be able to feel it every day.

I'm not stressing out about it, but I'm also not too happy with the continued weight loss we found at my last doctor's appointment. I really thought it would have turned around - I have definitely been eating more, but I guess my definition of 'a lot' changed when I didn't eat for 4 months, and my stomach also doesn't tolerate as much food at one time. I'm really trying to be more concious. One of my problems is that I don't usually take a lunch break at work because I don't really have time, so I end up not eating a real 'meal' around lunch time. i've been trying to make sure that in addition to snacking, I eat something substantial in the middle of the day. It's also for me - if I go too long without something like that, I start to not feel as well. Hopefully everything will be normal by my next appointment. We get to have another ultrasound and see Sam. I'm hoping maybe this time we'll get some better pictures. I never posted pictures from our big ultrasound in December because he was moving around so much that we didnt' get any really good still shots! We do have the video though, and it's a lot easier to see Sam there. Maybe I'll try to see if we can get it posted online somewhere.

Well, I think I'll go now and read for a while. I'll be back soon with more updates though!
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January 11, 2006

Doctor Just Called

My doctor's office just called, Dr. Hyde wants me to have another ultrasound at my next appointment (28 weeks) because of the weight loss. So, on Feb 6 I will get to see the little guy again. I will be happy to see him, but I hope that everything's fine and the weight loss will turn around before then.

The good news is that at my doctor appointment, they told me what medications are okay to take, and today I am getting better and can actually breathe through my nose! Woo!!!
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Little Feelings & Still Losing Weight?!

The exciting news is that in the last few days I'm pretty sure that I've felt Sam move a couple of times! It has been when I am lying on the couch or in bed, not doing anything else, and just relaxing. I've felt it kind of to the side, which makes sense because of the position of the placenta. I'm pretty sure that it's Sam I'm feeling because it's not like anything else I've felt before, and I can't even think of how to describe it to someone else! All I know is that it's rather exciting, and I can't wait until I can feel him more. I'm sure I'll look back at this in ac ouple of months and laugh, and think that I wished it on myself when I have bruised internal organs from him kicking me.

I had my 24 week doctor appointment today, and for the second appointment in a row I didn't actually see the doctor. Last time he was gone on a delivery, and this time he was out because of an emergency. I don't mind though, I am glad to know that he'll be there when Sam is coming! I was surprised to find out that my weight dropped even more - 6.5 more lbs. I'm now down about 35 pounds from where I started. I really thought after my last appointment I was turning around since I've been able to eat more and eat more substantial foods. Sigh... it's not anything they are super concerned about, since I had the ultrasound four weeks ago and the baby is normal size. But if I don't gain weight by my next appointment, they'll have to schedule another ultrasound to measure and weigh Sam again. I was so surprised by it, I realy thought that I would have turned around. Well, I guess we'll see. At the time of my next appointment I also have to get the gestational diabetes test, which involves drinking a nasty drink, which seems to be pretty much purely sugar, and the nurse described as tasting like 'flat, syruppy soda', and then having my blood drawn exactly an hour after I drink it. Fun...

I've been really sick for the last five days. I started feeling like I was coming down with something last Thursday, and felt terrible that night. Unfortunately I had to go to work on Frida, but I was able to go in at noon instead of in the morning. I spent the whole weekend sick and finally called in sick on Monday. I've been having somewhat of a hard time at work. My job is just... a lot. It's too much. Trying to do all of the accounting stuff I'm responsible for AND hire for the seven open positions that we have right now is crazy. We're hiring 2 people to replace my position. I know that these people will also be taking over stuff from Laurie, but I still feel like I am definitely trying to do the work of more than one person. I haven't been taking lunches because I just don't feel like I have time.

The other day when I was talking to Brooke, she sort of reminded me, hey, you are really pregnant. I hate the fact that last week when I started to feel so sick, I didn't even feel like I could take a sick day to take care of myself when I'm six months pregnant. I think that's ridiculous. I think I've been pushing myself too much, and I'm going to pay more attention to what I'm doing now. I need to make sure I'm not working too much and that I'm taking regular breaks and eating real meals throughout the day. I don't feel incapacitated by being pregnant, but I am definitely starting to realize now that I don't have the same capacity that maybe I did before, I do get tired more easily and need to consider it. I feel like nobody else considers it either. I feel like if I were thinner and looked 'more pregnant', that people would treat me differently. As it is, I don't think people even think about it. On top of the fact that I don't feel like anyone at work even knows what I'm doing or appreciates it. I know Laurie does, but no one else even seems to understand how busy I am and how overloaded that I am right now. I don't feel like I fit in that well, I am not part of the regular staff because I am in sort of a position of authority to them, and the managers don't consider me to be on their level. It's like I'm drifting in the middle by myself and no one notices me unless I'm NOT doing the thing they want me to do. Anyway, only 57 more days left (not that I'm counting), and I'm working on hiring the people to take my job over so I can start training them and unloading some stuff.

Lastly, I'm starting to think a lot about what I need to do and the things I want to do around the house. I know there are four months left, but I feel like I want to start doing things now. I'm starting to make a plan for what stuff I want to pack up and send to the storage unit until we get a house. There's a lot of 'stuff' around here that I don't want to get rid of, but that it woud probably be good to have out of the way for now. I'll keep you all updated on what I do around the house. I think it's almost time for a visit to the container store soon to get a nother shelf for the baby 'stuff' that's already starting to be here.

Okay. Well, I better get to bed. I've been having trouble sleeping, but I hope that tonight the Tylenol PM that my nurse recommended will do the trick in that area so I can feel at least a little bit awake when I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
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January 5, 2006

I'm Back!

I'm back! For those of you who don't know what happened, my other blog (www.snotw.com/serendipity) died. The reason for this is that the company hosting us (Spiralpages) seems to have gone kaput with no notice whatsoever. Unfortunately I lost everything from March until now, which really sucks. I'm working on getting everything from before March of last year posted back up here. For entries from August to December, visit my babycrowd blog at http://www.babycrowd.com/jr/online/rachael/welcome.html. From the end of August through December, I mostly just wrote there anyway. So, here I am again!
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January 4, 2006

Happy New Year!

Sorry for the long time between entries again! We were in New Jersey until last Friday, and Thursday night we went to dinner at Marrones, my favorite pizza place in the whole world. The flight back was all right, but a little bumpy. Saturday night was New Years Eve, we just went and hung out with Brooke and Dave. Sunday Brooke and I went and saw Brokeback Mountain. It was really good. So much of the movie was very calm, the imagery and the music. Then on Monday Justin and I went and saw King Kong, which I also liked a lot. It was long, but most of it I wouldn't have changed. There was some realy great cinematography in there. Today was my first day back at work - piles of stuff to do! I felt a little better by the end of the day when I at least got everything sorted out, but I do have a ton to do and things are changing a little bit with my department. I have 61 days of work left until my last day!

Things are still going well. I have officially grown out of a pair of pants now. I was just sitting at the table minding my own business when suddenly they felt too small. I tried to put them on the next day and it was just uncomfortable. I went to Lane Bryant yesterday and got a pair of black stretchy pants, and a pair of jeans that I of course didn't try on first, and I'm not sure I'll keep them. I need to get some more pairs of stretchy pants though. I've been looking online a little bit, but it's such a pain to return things then. I got a gift card to Motherhood Maternity store, so maybe I'll go there sometime.

I talked to Rob last night and found out that his niece, Courtney, is moving to Bellevue! She and her family live in Albuquerque, and her husband does something with computers and got a job up here. She's a little older than me and they have a 1 year old daughter, so hopefully we'll be able to help them get adjusted and everything. I have a great network of friends from book club, so maybe she can join us.

I still haven't felt Sam kick, and I'm impatient! I probably shouldn't be. I bet that when I can feel it, he's going to kick the crap out of me and I'll wish that I couldn't feel it again! Anyhow, I am 23 weeks today, so I'm just waiting. It's weird because now that I don't feel sick any more I don't really feel that pregnant! I was driving home from work today and felt oddly 'normal'! I know there was other stuff I wanted to write about, but I can't seem to remember any of it right now. I'll be back soon!
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