Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"
Why can't a bike stand on it's own?
Because it is two tired.
Why couldn't the pony talk?
Because he was a little horse.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
And, one of my favorites:
A piece of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here! Get out!".
The piece of rope, dejected, walks outside. He looks around and gets an idea. He ties himself in a knot and toussles his hair.
He walks back into the bar, and the bartender says "Hey, aren't you the same piece of rope I just kicked out of here?"
The rope looks at him, and says "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"