January 11, 2006

Little Feelings & Still Losing Weight?!

The exciting news is that in the last few days I'm pretty sure that I've felt Sam move a couple of times! It has been when I am lying on the couch or in bed, not doing anything else, and just relaxing. I've felt it kind of to the side, which makes sense because of the position of the placenta. I'm pretty sure that it's Sam I'm feeling because it's not like anything else I've felt before, and I can't even think of how to describe it to someone else! All I know is that it's rather exciting, and I can't wait until I can feel him more. I'm sure I'll look back at this in ac ouple of months and laugh, and think that I wished it on myself when I have bruised internal organs from him kicking me.

I had my 24 week doctor appointment today, and for the second appointment in a row I didn't actually see the doctor. Last time he was gone on a delivery, and this time he was out because of an emergency. I don't mind though, I am glad to know that he'll be there when Sam is coming! I was surprised to find out that my weight dropped even more - 6.5 more lbs. I'm now down about 35 pounds from where I started. I really thought after my last appointment I was turning around since I've been able to eat more and eat more substantial foods. Sigh... it's not anything they are super concerned about, since I had the ultrasound four weeks ago and the baby is normal size. But if I don't gain weight by my next appointment, they'll have to schedule another ultrasound to measure and weigh Sam again. I was so surprised by it, I realy thought that I would have turned around. Well, I guess we'll see. At the time of my next appointment I also have to get the gestational diabetes test, which involves drinking a nasty drink, which seems to be pretty much purely sugar, and the nurse described as tasting like 'flat, syruppy soda', and then having my blood drawn exactly an hour after I drink it. Fun...

I've been really sick for the last five days. I started feeling like I was coming down with something last Thursday, and felt terrible that night. Unfortunately I had to go to work on Frida, but I was able to go in at noon instead of in the morning. I spent the whole weekend sick and finally called in sick on Monday. I've been having somewhat of a hard time at work. My job is just... a lot. It's too much. Trying to do all of the accounting stuff I'm responsible for AND hire for the seven open positions that we have right now is crazy. We're hiring 2 people to replace my position. I know that these people will also be taking over stuff from Laurie, but I still feel like I am definitely trying to do the work of more than one person. I haven't been taking lunches because I just don't feel like I have time.

The other day when I was talking to Brooke, she sort of reminded me, hey, you are really pregnant. I hate the fact that last week when I started to feel so sick, I didn't even feel like I could take a sick day to take care of myself when I'm six months pregnant. I think that's ridiculous. I think I've been pushing myself too much, and I'm going to pay more attention to what I'm doing now. I need to make sure I'm not working too much and that I'm taking regular breaks and eating real meals throughout the day. I don't feel incapacitated by being pregnant, but I am definitely starting to realize now that I don't have the same capacity that maybe I did before, I do get tired more easily and need to consider it. I feel like nobody else considers it either. I feel like if I were thinner and looked 'more pregnant', that people would treat me differently. As it is, I don't think people even think about it. On top of the fact that I don't feel like anyone at work even knows what I'm doing or appreciates it. I know Laurie does, but no one else even seems to understand how busy I am and how overloaded that I am right now. I don't feel like I fit in that well, I am not part of the regular staff because I am in sort of a position of authority to them, and the managers don't consider me to be on their level. It's like I'm drifting in the middle by myself and no one notices me unless I'm NOT doing the thing they want me to do. Anyway, only 57 more days left (not that I'm counting), and I'm working on hiring the people to take my job over so I can start training them and unloading some stuff.

Lastly, I'm starting to think a lot about what I need to do and the things I want to do around the house. I know there are four months left, but I feel like I want to start doing things now. I'm starting to make a plan for what stuff I want to pack up and send to the storage unit until we get a house. There's a lot of 'stuff' around here that I don't want to get rid of, but that it woud probably be good to have out of the way for now. I'll keep you all updated on what I do around the house. I think it's almost time for a visit to the container store soon to get a nother shelf for the baby 'stuff' that's already starting to be here.

Okay. Well, I better get to bed. I've been having trouble sleeping, but I hope that tonight the Tylenol PM that my nurse recommended will do the trick in that area so I can feel at least a little bit awake when I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

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