October 30, 2005

Baby Crazy

Hmm... well, apparently since I moved into my 2nd tri-mester and told everyone about the baby I have become baby crazy. Yesterday we went to Babies'R'Us and started our registry. It is available online as well, at www.babiesrus.com and at Toys'R'Us stores too since most of them have a baby section. I managed to be in the baby store for over an hour and not buy anything, but after we finished registering, I made Justin leave right away because I had urges... it is too early to buy stuff!!! Luckily, we went over to Brooke & Dave's to hang out last night and got an infant car seat and playard from them. They're cute - light green with animals on them. I am so happy that we are going to be getting so much stuff from them. Even just getting those things and the crib is great, but Brooke's also giving me clothes and possibly the stroller as well, which matches the infant car seat & playard. Yay!!!! I'M SO EXCITED! Now I just have to TRY and wait patiently until we can find out if it's a boy or girl, which should be sometime in December.
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October 26, 2005

I Can Eat Real Food Again!

Sorry I haven't been writing much the last few days. Kira, Justin and I went to Bellingham last weekend and visited. We hung out with Mom, saw Rob, and Leela. We had a good time. Mom gave us our FIRST baby present. Check out the photo album to see it.

So, GREAT news... my morning sickness has gotten a TON better in the last four days! I can eat real food again! I don't have my full normal appetite back yet, but I just ate a delicious homemade burrito with rice, guacamole, cheese & beef! It was soooo good. I am so excited that I can eat more than just cereal again and hopefully it will just keep getting better. I guess 13 weeks/second tri-mester really IS the magic number!

Justin is also the best husband in the whole world. Two days ago I said I wanted ice cream and he went down to the car to get some things we bought last weekend at the farmers market and he went to Dairy Queen and got me a delicious Cappucino Heath Blizzard! Then last night I said he should make cookies & he made cookies! He has been doing so much, doing the dishes, and housework. It's been so helpful to me and wonderful. I can't wait for him to be a Dad, I know he is going to be so great at it.

Well, I'm off to relax and watch The Colbert Report from last night. Steven Colbert is funny....
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October 21, 2005

Baby Stuff

I have started looking at baby stuff online. Well, I've looked a little bit before but I think that we're going to head over to Babies'R'Us soon and do our registry. I found an animal theme that I like there, so maybe we'll check it out. I guess I'm feeling better because my dread about registering is morphing into only excitement!

I just got an e-mail from Tara, my friend who had her baby last weekend! She is doing well after a rough few nights home. I know that right now I am excited, but also scared. I know that labor is different for everyone, but the thought of all of it is a little bit daunting! I know that it will all work out and there is no part of me that doesn't think it's worth it. Even all of this stupid morning sickness is worth it!

Speaking of which, I think I'm really starting to feel better. I have been to work on time every day this week, and actually got a lot more done in the last 2 days - I felt more productive & able to focus. I still feel sick, but the mornings have gotten easier and I have longer periods of feeling ok. I'm still not eating like normal, but am eating more as now if I don't eat lunch and make sure to eat something substantial in the evening, I get headaches!

I am really looking forward to making my announcement at work, which will happen either tomorrow or Monday morning at the staff meeting. I can't wait until it's not a secret anymore! Plus, I admit, it is pretty fun to tell people. Especially people who knew that we were trying! We have gotten so many nice e-mails and notes in the guestbook here, it's just wonderful! Thanks so much to everyone!

Well, it's almost 10 and I better head to bed so I can have a whole week of on-time work days! Kira is coming up tomorrow and we're going to Bellingham for the weekend to visit. I haven't been up in a while because I haven't felt like riding in the car for that long, but hopefully I'll do okay now. We're coming back Sunday morning so I can go to my friend's little girl's 1st birthday party! Her mom is Kelly, who is due only 2 days after me! Exciting. All right, I'm off!
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October 18, 2005

Welcome to our Blog!

If you are here because you got my e-mail, this will be the first journal entry you see. Welcome to our website! I am sooooooo excited to send the e-mail out and tell everyone our news, and I'm writing this while I wait for Justin to get our ultrasound picture from today scanned into the computer so I can put it up here.

We just got back from our 12 week dr. appt, Justin met the doctor and they weighed me. I've lost almost 15 lbs - so you can tell I really have not been eating! I'm sure that when I feel better that some of it will come back though. Nothing to worry about. Then they took my blood pressure etc. and that was going to be it... I asked the doctor if we were going to have an ultrasound because last time we were there, the nurse said we'd have one at this appointment. What she apparently didn't tell us was that you have to schedule your ultrasound seperately from your appointment because the ultrasound technician works for more than 1 doctor and has her own schedule. He said we could schedule one in the next week or two, and that's when I told him what the nurse had said, and that at my 7 week ultrasound they actually hadn't done any measurements or told me anything much other than hey, there's a baby in there. So, he went to go see if the technician was still there, and she wasn't, but he said he would do one real quick if we wanted. So, we still got our ultrasound!

We saw the baby move for the first time today!!! It was moving around and moving it's arms all around! It was incredible. If I wasn't so sick, I'd still be having trouble believing that this is really happening!! Yay! We didn't get to hear the heartbeat - I figured since I forced the dr to give me an ultrasound, I can hear the heartbeat next time. The baby is doing well and is measuring at 12 weeks 3 days, so good sized. My next appointment is in 4 weeks and I'll have blood drawn then for some more tests. I'm excited to be moving into my second tri-mester and hopefully feeling better soon!
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Peaceful

It's 9:22 and I'm about to head off to bed. The TV is off and Justin is asleep on the couch, and I'm not feeling too sick. I am feeling very peaceful right now. I think maybe I'm starting to feel better from the sickness (for real this time hopefully). I still don't feel like myself, but I have longer bouts of being more normal feeling and am able to eat a little bit more normal food. I have been eating a lot of fruit leather, it's easy and doesn't make me feel sick, plus it's fruit! I can't wait until our doctor appointment tomorrow and seeing the baby again. I feel like I have been waiting forever.

I had a really bad day at work today - just felt really stressed out and overwhelmed and the pregnancy hormones aren't helping. I feel like there is so much to do, I am getting behind and am supposed to be hiring for four positions. One of the ones I'm trying to fill is my old job, and the person in it now is leaving, this Friday is his last day. So, since we're obviously not going to have it done by then it means that 1. Starting Monday, I'm probably going to have to do all of it, and 2. I'm going to have to be the one to train whoever we get to replace him. We have one more person coming in on Thursday for an interview, so we'll see how that goes. With all of this stuff, and pressure, I feel like shutting down, like running away and hiding instead of doing my job.

I am also supposed to go to this seminar in 2 weeks (Oct 28-30) and I don't think I can do it. There are several reasons, including that it runs 10 AM - Midnight and I can't even imagine staying up that late, especially 3 days in a row. I can barely stay awake past 9:30! I am also not sure that now is the right time... it's a sort of a personal development thing, and I don't think that with all of the hormones and being so tired that it's necessarily the best time to go to this. If I go, I want to be able to be there and I don't feel like I can. The problem is that I already paid the tuition, and $500 is a pretty big chunk of change. Hence, needing to call them. It's normally non-refundable, but I feel like this is a legitimate thing that I didn't know about. How could you know what this felt like unless you had been pregnant before!

Anyhow, despite everything in my world, I feel good right now. I'm happy. We're getting our money figured out and I am counting down the 4 1/2 more months that I'll be working. I am so excited and happy... Today I was at Fred Meyer getting a few things and I was walking through the clothes section and passed through the baby section. It was so great to be there and to feel happy, and excited thinking about our baby. We have wanted this for a long time, maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but for us, during that time, it seemed like forever. I guess it's true - all it took was letting go a little bit, and we got our blessing. I feel weird saying that, because I'm not a religious person or anything, but I don't know how better to describe it. I love the baby so much already and I haven't even seen a picture of it that looks baby-like! I feel like it's some kind of miracle...
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October 17, 2005

Tidbits About Baby

197 days until our due date!
My Birthstone is Emerald (Love, Success)
My Flower is Lily of the Valley or Hawthorn (Yellow, Red and Green)
My Astrological Sign is Taurus
I'll be born in the Chinese Year of The Dog
I will start kindergarten in 2011,
be old enough to drive a car in 2022,
and will graduate High School with the Class of 2024

Only 1 more day until I get to spread the good news! I am soooooo excited to tell everyone about the little bean! Last night Justin's Mom asked us about baby stuff we want. I guess that means it's about time to go and register! In a way I'm looking forward to it, because I can't wait to go to Babies'R'Us and actually be excited that it's MY baby this time! But in another way I am scared because I remember registering for the wedding and this is going to take longer, and I will know less about what the heck I'm doing! I'm afraid that if we go when I'm still not feeling that well, it will be hard for me to get through it! We'll see. We should have a registry within the next couple of weeks!
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October 16, 2005

Yay!

I am so excited! I just got the news that my friend Tara, who was due on 10/20, just had her litle baby this morning! He was born around 8:00 AM after 14 hours of labor and is doing well! I can't wait to meet little Nathaniel Bergman!!!
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October 15, 2005

Third Month Pregnancy Reflections

What I'm enjoying the most about my pregnancy so far is:
People's reactions when I tell them I'm pregnant! It's making it so hard to keep it a secret when everyone gets so excited! The more time goes by, the happier I am about everything going so well for me & the pregnancy so far! I can't wait to tell EVERYONE!

The strangest advice I've received is:
Someone suggested the possibility of Justin joining the military so I wouldn't have to work after the baby came. It's not really advice, but I definitely thought it was strange!

Names that I've been thinking of:
Abigail Edith (Abby) for a girl, Samuel Den (Sam) for a boy

Girl or boy? I think you will be a:
Boy. I am hoping for a girl, but for some reason I have this subconcious thought that it's a boy.

The old wives tales predict:
So far, the few I've seen predict a girl!

At my prenatal visit this month I found out that:
The baby is doing well and measuring 3 days ahead of schedule. We had an ultrasound and saw the baby move! It was incredible. Of course it is too early to feel any movement, but seeing it definitely made it more real and I feel great!

My hopes:
We'll be able to stick to our budget and the plan of paying off a couple of our credit cards etc before I leave my job.

My fears:
That I'll be sick through the entire pregnancy instead of just the first trimester...
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October 13, 2005

Okay, Enough is Enough

Yuuuuuuuuck! I stayed home from work again today. I feel like I've been missing a lot of work, but really I've only missed 3 days the whole time I've been pregnant. I've been late a bunch of times, but I've made up all of those hours. It's been easier to make time up since I stopped taking lunches. Since I can't really eat, there's no point in taking a long break when I have things to do. This morning I couldn't even sit up without feeling like I was going to hurl. How am I supposed to get ready & go to work when I can't even sit up!?

Sigh... I'm trying to make sure I'm eating enough, keeping something in my stomach, but it's so hard when my choices are so limited. I mean, at this point it's pretty much cheerios, crackers and bagels or english muffins. Sometimes I can handle macaroni & cheese or ramen noodles. Anytime I eat anything with more (cheese, meat, most sauce), I just feel terrible afterwards. The last couple days I made orange juice slushees (just ice, OJ and a litlte bit of frozen OJ blended up). Drinking something cold like that seems to help, and it's at least some nutrition.

It's just so frustrating for me because I don't want people to think they can't count on me, but there is literally nothing I can do about it! Normally when you're sick there are at least a few things that you can do to make yourself better, but I don't really have any control here. I'm going to feel lousy until the little bean lets me feel better! Every day that goes by I hope that I'm getting toward the end of this. I'm 11w2d today, so I'll be 12 weeks next Tuesday and at the end of my first trimester. I am looking forward to the second - people saying they get their energy back and feel better gives me hope at least. Although, Laurie told me at work that when she told Terry why I was sick, Terry said that it should go away by the 14th or 15th week. Too long!!! At least she understood, she also said that morning sickness is not like anything else and you can't really understand it unless you've been there yourself. Anyhow, everybody send me 'feel better' vibes, okay? By the time this is over I'll probably be so sick of bread I'll convert to the Atkins diet. Okay.... that would never happen, but you know what I mean!
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October 11, 2005

Take a Load Off

I just had a meeting with my boss, Laurie, and told her that I am going to leave the company in March. This morning she told Terry & Suzanne my news, which was totally fine, I knew it might come to the point where other managers would have to know because they would be wondering why I was sick so much. I know she probably reassured them that I was not leaving after the baby, so I decided to let her know even though we don't have everything exactly squared away yet. Justin and I are both confident that we'll get it all figured out soon. I told her that it was really hard to leave this company, it's the best job I've had and she is honestly the best boss I've ever had, and I'll miss it. But my heart is not in it to put my little one in daycare as an infant, even if it's only a couple of days a week. Luckily, her offer to come & take pictures of us and the baby still stands, and I'm probably going to have her come to the hospital and take pictures there as well.

So, my plan right now is to leave at the end of March, but if we get someone in here and trained and they don't need me anymore, then I'll leave sooner. We'll probably start the hiring process in January sometime.

Justin has been so great, and understanding about why this is so important to me, and is working a second job doing testing for some computer software, and that is part of the reason that this whole thing is going to work out. The other big reason is Justin's Dad, who is wonderful and helping us to figure everything out. He's a blessing!

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest, and I'm really happy about that. I'll make the announcement in a staff meeting either Fri 10/21 or Mon 10/24 to let everyone know my news and that I'll be leaving in a few months. Yay!
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Ups & Downs

Every time that I think I am starting to get better, something quickly happens to change my mind. I was able to eat some semi "normal" food on Saturday night, but did not feel too hot the next morning. Yesterday I actually felt hungry and ate a sandwich, and ended up feeling terrible for the rest of the day. I guess I should just stick to cereal and english muffins.

Once again I'm home at 10:00 because I felt so crappy when I got up, I couldn't imagine actually getting ready and going to work. Even now, I feel a little better, but it's still a struggle right now convincing myself to get in the shower and drive to work. To top it all off, I'm in the middle of trying to hire for 4 positions, and 3 of them need to be filled ASAP, so I am doing a lot of phone interviews, which is really fun to try and concentrate on when I feel crappy. I can't wait until later this week when I start doing in person ones.

It's so frustrating! I feel like a broken record when every time Justin or friends ask how I am, I am sick. I just want to feel "normal" again!
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October 9, 2005

Bit by Bit

I still don't feel that great, but tonight I ate 2 pieces of garlic cheese bread and I don't feel really sick. Things seem to be looking up - very slowly. This is the second night I've been up way past my bedtime (this entry will probably show 10/9, but it's actually 10/8 at 11:24 pm). Last night I was up until almost midnight. I haven't stayed up that late in 6 weeks!

Only 9 more days until my next ultrasound, and our big announcement. I'm so excited! I can't wait to let everyone know that we are starting our family. I might not be able to tell people at work right away, depending on where we are with our post-baby planning by then. Hopefully we will get it all figured out very soon so I can get this weight off my chest. I have started feeling bad about the whole thing, and really anxious to talk to my boss about it, but I also don't want to make any kind of announcement until we have everything in place for later just in case they don't take it that well and want me to leave before March. I'm hoping to keep working until the middle or end of March, but if that doesn't work out, it's all right. The longer I can work the more we can save up for a while for the baby things we'll need. We're lucky to have lots of friends with babies, which means offers of hand-me-downs. Brooke & Dave offered us their crib, which was really nice, and will save money for us.

Well, I'm off to bed! I'm planning some shopping & a movie tomorrow, which sounds simple, but I'll definitely need my rest. It's weird the things that can sap your energy when there's already a little person inside you stealing most of it. Justin says hello to all of you who may be reading. He's very excited about the appointment next week and is also anxious to share our news.
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October 6, 2005

I Was Wrong

Remember when I said that I was feeling better and thought my morning sickness was going to go away? Yeah, I was wrong. It's not better, just different. Now I don't feel nauseous 100% of the time - I get several hours of relief per day. Unless I try to eat anything besides bread products and maybe some fruit. Then I feel terrible. Also I don't want to eat at all, and sometimes I can't tell if I am hungry or just feeling nauseous. I'm eating dry Kix cereal out of a bowl right now.

The other night we went to hang out & order Thai food at Tara & Phil's with the Dormans & Whalen-Robinsons. I didn't even bother ordering a dish - I couldn't eat anything. Hopefully I will actually start to get better for real soon. I miss things like CHEESE. I miss most things that are not bread. On another note, Tara is giant and she's not due for another week or 2 weeks, but it's into the stage now where I feel like it could happen at any time! I can't wait to meet Baby Boy Bergman!!!
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October 4, 2005

10 Weeks Today!

I am 10 weeks today! That means the baby is now a fetus. Only 2 more weeks until my next ultrasound. I am still feeling sick in the mornings, mostly. I don't feel well at all right now, but I need to get ready for work. During the day I definitely feel better, but still can't eat 'normal' food, and am taking it easy on that front.

Yesterday I felt sick and decided to call in late to work, and sleep a little extra then finally go get my blood drawn since I had put it off for almost 2 weeks. So, I go down to the car and look at the little paper attached to my lab requisition. It has 3 locations listed with little maps of their locations. I decided to go to the Redmond location because it was closest to home. So I drive all the way there, get out of the car, and there is a sign on the door saying that location is close as of MAY 13, 2005! That's like 5 months ago!! So I drive to the 2nd location and go inside and there is a sign on the door saying they've moved (to the 3rd location) and are no longer open. Agh! 45 wasted minutes of driving around later, I finally get to the lab and luckily she is able to draw on the first try. I called my doctor's office to tell them not to send people to those places anymore. Also, I have never had so much blood drawn in my life! They took a lot!

That's about all that's going on around here. I'm really looking forward to the day when I don't wake up feeling sick.
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October 3, 2005

Woo hoo!

Today I had another day of feeling better! I still don't feel great, but I have not been nauseous all the time and have actually felt 'normal' a couple of times today. I am so glad that things seem to be getting better! I think I am past the hardest part in that area. I still can't eat regular food, as I found out the hard way last night after trying to actually eat dinner. But more Cherrios and Kix and bagels for a while is okay as long as I don't feel like throwing them up.

I had book club tonight & almost told the people there about the baby. I decided to wait the 2 more weeks I'm going to wait with everyone else though... I really want to see the new ultrasound before telling everyone.

I'm feeling a little bit anxious about getting our situation figured out for after the baby comes. I realized today that I can't tell people at work about the baby until we figure out our exact plan and get it rolling. I know that as soon as I tell people, they're goign to wonder whether I'm coming back to work or not, so I need to be able to tell Laurie that I'm leaving before I tell anyone else at work. I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to tell her, but I'm hoping that she will understand.

It's after 9:30 and I don't feel quite as tired as normal, but I probably better go to bed soon anyway so I can get up and be at work on time tomorrow!
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