December 28, 2005

Surprise Baby Shower!

Hello! I'm in the TV room at my Dad's house in Flemington, NJ using Kira's laptop to make this entry. Justin's working on his laptop, and Kira is knitting and watching an old episode of 'Sex in the City' that's on. I'm very tired after staying up WAY past my bedtime the past few nights when Emmy was here.

Today I had a SURPRISE baby shower, masterminded by Helene. We were supposed to go to lunch at her cousin's house, and I was looking forward to it, but at the same time driving over an hour to have lunch, I was dragging my feet a little. When we got there at 12:25 (25 minutes late...), there were... people! And balloons! And presents!! And cake!

It was so nice for them to do that for me. I won't see anyone again until after the baby comes, and it was just really thoughtful. The people who were there were:

Helene, Lianna & Kira
Jaque & Judy (Helene's cousins)
Aunt Theresa and Darby
Aunt Ann & Emmy
Grandmom Doley
Laurie & Aunt Barb
Gayle and Carlie
Aunt Lena & Grandmom Anthony

It was a good opportunity to see people again before going home, and it is just really great to know people care and are excited about the baby! We got lots of presents, including our bedding set (quilt, diaper stacker, valance, sheet, dust ruffle, and crib bumpers), the snugli carrier, window shades, gift card, and lots of very cute little clothes and stuffed animals. Oh yes, and a photo album and baby book, neither of which I've bought yet. I need to get a box to start Sam's baby box - I'm going to put all the keepsakes in a small box so everything will be together, like my entries here and the e-mails people have sent me. It was tiring, but a great day. I feel so lucky to have such a great family.

We only have 2 more days here in New Jersey- our flight leaves at 7 something on Friday night to go home. It's been great visiting and watching Lianna. She's seven now, and very cute of course. She has been playing games with us and reading books, and I think she's liked having us around. Tomorrow I've got to figure out how to send the stuff from today home. I'm thinking probably ship it since we don't need it right away and that way we won't have to carry it home from the airport.

I still haven't felt Sam move yet, but I continue to see changes in my body, now at a faster rate. I can feel where Sam is for sure now, and my stomach is still flattening, and my belly button still disappearing slowly. I'm thinking I'm going to need to go shopping soon - after wearing my jeans all day today I suddenly had to go and change because they felt way too tight all of the sudden!

Well, my brain is all over the place, and my thoughts are jumping around all over the place so I'm going to go now. I probably won't write again until this weekend sometime, because I think I'll be busy the next couple of days.

December 24, 2005

Happy Christmas Eve

The last few days have been quite busy!! We are in New Jersey at my Dad's house visiting for Christmas. I had a busy few days before leaving. I guess this is the first time I've had a job where there is so much that I do and I really had to get a lot of stuff completed before leaving on my vacation. Then there was tones of stuff to do at home, and I was trying to finish laundry, so I didn't go to bed until midnight the night before our flight. The flight itself was uneventful, other than getting really uncomfortable about halfway through, and having to stand up for a while, which helped. Didn't do much yesterday except hang around the house and knit a hat. Later today we'll head over to John & Marilyn's (Helene's brother & sister in law) for Christmas Eve dinner with Helene's family. Then tomorrow we'll have all of Dad's family over for Christmas dinner. It should be fun to have Christmas with Lianna, I haven't in a very long time since last year we got here on the 26th. She has a very long list for Santa and is excited about him coming here.

I'll try to keep updating while I'm here, but not much news on the baby front! I still haven't felt Sam move, but I am sort of expecting it to be a couple more weeks because of what the nurse said about the position of the baby. I'm starting to have a little bit of back pain, but that's probably due to sleeping in a bed that's not my normal bed. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas, and has fun with family or friends, or with whatever you decide to do! Merry Christmas!!!!

December 19, 2005

Good Times

Hello! Sorry it's been a few days since I updated. I have been very busy both at work and at home getting ready to leave for New Jersey this Thursday. We'll be there from the 22 to the 30, and I am really looking forward to the trip. It just seems like there is a ton to do before I go!

So far, Sam has received 2 Christmas presents. He got a very soft fuzzy blanket from his Great Aunt Becky, and a noisemaking bird stuffed animal from Grandma Edie. This marks the first receipt of a noisemaking toy which I will soon be listening to 100 times in a row. I am already preparing for it though!

I finished going through all of the baby clothes and boxed up all the little girl clothes for future use by us, or by someone else. Since we have a storage unit, I figured why not keep them for a while, someone will probably be able to use them. On top of the big pile we have already are four brand new outfits that we recieved from my boss, Laurie. SO cute! They're in different sizes, and my favorite is the 9 month outfit, it's a little plaid shirt & overalls and a little vest. This baby will be stylin'! Now I am anxious to get the dresser so I can start putting things away.

Mom took the fold up crib home with her when she left yesterday, she's going to keep it at her place for when we come up to Bellingham. We will have the regular crib, plus the bedside sleeper that Tara has offered to loan us, so we probably won't need the fold up for our house. It will be nice to be able to keep some stuff there so we can go visit often without lugging a lot of junk back and forth.

I have 3 months and 2 days (65 work days) of work left before I'm home all the time. I am really looking forward to being able to go & visit in Bellingham and to go to a lot more of the Farmer's Markets in Tacoma next year.

The best news from the past week is that Jason (Justin's brother) got assigned his residency, so Jason, Stormy, Gryphon & Tempest will be moving back to Washington in the spring! He'll be working down in Tacoma at Madigan. We are so excited that they're coming here and not moving to Texas! It will be nice for Sam to have his little cousins around.

December 15, 2005

Fifth Month Pregnancy Reflections

The first time I felt you kick:
Was not in my fifth month, but into the sixth. Because of the position of the placenta I haven't been able to feel much so far.

It felt like:
It's so hard to describe... the best way I can think of to describe it to another person is some kind of thick liquid dripping into another thick liquid and sort of... blubbing. That sounds ridiculous. Or maybe... something meeting resistance and then sort of popping free.

I felt:

The strangest food craving I've had is:
No craving! Well, actually, when I very first got pregnant I craved meat. Specifically, pepperoni. Now I don't really crave anything, in fact, I don't eat much. Maybe when I start really eating more, I'll eat some ice cream with pickles or something.

This month's prenatal visit taught me that:
You are a boy! Everything is normal, and you are just the right size and weight. Also, you move around a lot and I'm probably going to have to chase you all over the place when you start crawling! I also found out that once I start feeling him, I'll definitely be feeling him, as he kicked through our entire ultrasound.

My hopes:
That I'll stop feeling sick soon. Seriously. I am tired of it! Also, that I'll feel the baby move soon. I can't wait until there is something else there to remind me what a great gift I'm getting in five months!

December 14, 2005

It's a BOY!

We had our 20 week doctor appointment today, and it is most definitely a BOY. So, we now have a little Samuel to talk about and look forward to! Sam is doing well, everything looks and measures normal and right in the right stages of development. He has long legs, and was kicking them like crazy during the ultrasound. We didn't get any really great profile shots of him, but we did get a video of the entire ultrasound, which Justin will start working on tomorrow, and hopefully be able to pull some good screen shots from. I promise to have ultrasound pictures up soon - as soon as we can decipher all of them and get them scanned (sorry Mom, probably not 'til Wed night). Now I can refer to the baby as 'him' and know that I'm actually right about it!

Also, the ultrasound technician said something about that in addition to it being my first baby, the position of the placenta is also going to make it so that I might not feel any movement right away. The way the baby is sitting, the placenta is giving good padding so he's really got to move before I feel it.

December 8, 2005

T-Mobile Xmas Party

Last night we went to the T-Mobile Engineering & Product Development Holiday Party. I put a picture of us all fancied up in the photo album. The party was held at the Experience Music Project in Seattle. We kind of figured that it would just be in the liquid lounge, and just a cool place to have it, but they actually had the whole place open and you could wander through all the exhibits! It was pretty cool because we'd never been there before. I've wanted to go, but I am always doing something else or don't remember it as an option. It was cool to see some of the stuff they had, I especially liked seeing the handwritten lyrics & notes that artists made when they were writing. I met a lot of people that I've heard of before but never had a face for, and saw a couple of people that I know from working at VoiceStream. I can't believe that was six years ago!

Things are good. Only 5 days left until our next ultrasound. I'm so excited, and I know the next four days at least will go by pretty fast. I hope that I don't jinx myself, but I'm feeling better this week. Yesterday I did pretty well all day until about 8:00 PM, then I started not feeling so great. That was probably partially due to not eating much at the holiday party (all the food was really fancy stuff and I couldn't stomach many of the things), and just being in a crowded room like that with all those people. Hopefully this time the feeling better will continue. That would be nice.

I don't know if I'll have a chance to write again before next Monday, we have a busy few days ahead of us. Tonight we're babysitting at Brooke & Dave's, and this weekend we're going to Bellingham for Mom's concert, and I'm not sure if we're going up tomorrow or Saturday morning. I'll write again when I can though!

Well I better go, I have to drive Justin to work today. His key to the VW got messed up somehow so the buttons don't work to lock & unlock the doors anymore, so it's at the VW place so the keys can get reprogrammed.

December 6, 2005


I have finally started to notice some changes in my body shape from the baby. My waist is starting to flatten/round out, and I noticed the other day that my belly button is shallower than it used to be. That is very weird. It's nice to be able to see SOMETHING though, since I don't know when I'll start to feel the baby move!

It is officially only 1 week until our big ultrasound! I am so excited, and I hope that the next week goes by really fast. For some reason I think it's a boy, and so does Justin. Someone at work yesterday told me that they think it's a girl. We'll know soon!

December 4, 2005

It's Starting!

We went over to hang out at Brooke & Dave's on Friday night, and since they're trying to clean up and pack things up, we took a bunch of stuff off their hands. We took about 4 or 5 bags of clothes which we'll sort through later (we took boy & girl from newborn up to some that are 2T or 3T). We're sorting through them, then when we find out if this is an Abby or a Sam, we'll sort through and make a donation to a local goodwill with the things we don't need. I've enjoyed looking through them, it's exciting!

We also got the base to the infant car seat, and the stroller, which they'd decided they don't need anymore. I'm very happy about that, it is in good shape & still has lots of use left in it. So I've taken the Travel System off our registry, since we have one already! The great thing is that the one they gave us is the same way - the infant carrier can fit into the stroller for when the baby's very small.

I can't believe that our big ultrasound is in only 9 days! I am so excited, and the time has been going by much faster since I passed 16 weeks or so. I wonder if the time will fly by for the next 5 months? I just hope it continues until the beginning of next year, I'm impatient for Christmas and to take my trip to New Jersey! Well, I better be off. We're having a brunch for book club today so we can do our gift exchange etc, and I need to get ready!

December 1, 2005

Yes, I am Still Here

Sorry it has been so long since I've updated the blog. I try not to go more than a few days, and I think it's been at least a week! I had a busy week last week. Grandma Edie came down on the night of my birthday, last Wednesday. We hung out at home and she baked some delicious pies for Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving we all went down to Justin's Mom's in Grapeview and had yummy food and there were 7 pies and a cake. And ice cream. Friday I refused to go to any stores, so instead we stayed in the house all day and watched TV. Saturday we went & saw "Rent" and Kira came for the night so she could be in Seattle Sunday morning for the 1/2 marathon. Sunday we had a little get together at our house for my birthday & Tara's birthday, had some cake and hung out with friends.

Things are still going well. I have been on time for work every day this week (in fact, 2 days I got here at 8:00 even instead of 8:30)! I am feeling good about that because I like getting off at 4:30 and didn't really want to change my schedule. I think I can manage my regular schedule again now. I have also been getting caught up at work, getting little things done that have been waiting for me. We are going to start looking for the person to replace me soon, hoping they can start in January and have overlap.

I only have 4 months left until I'm off work. It seems a lot more managable now than it did when I had 5 months left. Time is going by a lot faster in the past couple of weeks, and I know that's going to continue through Christmas time since we have so much going on.

Only 11 days until our BIG ultrasound and finding out if the baby has a hot dog or a hamburger. Yes, that is another weird food analogy from a baby website. I think that the baby is now the size of a large sweet potato according to them. It will just be nice to be able to call the baby by name, especially since hopefully I'll start feeling movement soon!

Justin's Mom & Rich got me the glider chair from my registry for my birthday. It was so nice of them! Justin put it together the day after Thanksgiving and it is very comfortable.

The best news around here is that some very good friends of ours have put in an offer on a house and are putting their house on the market this week! I am so happy for them, they need more space for their 2 little ones, and I know that they have been wanting to move for a while. The best part is that the house they're hopefully getting is only 8 miles further away than where they live now! I'm glad they didn't decide to move 45 minutes away. I still would have gone, but this would be nicer. The added bonus for me is that since they're going to have to start showing their house, they have to start packing and things, so I'll be getting a load of baby stuff sometime in the next couple of days! I am sure that I've seen most of it before since we are together so much, but I just can't wait to go through all of the clothes and see what's in there. I know that there will be good stuff, because their mom has good taste!

I am still feeling not the best. I have gotten sick a couple of times in the morning. The upside is that after I throw up, I always feel a lot better. It still sucks though. I have the most trouble in the morning and at night in the hours before bed. I'm getting better at managing my food. It's hard for several reasons. First, it's hard to remember to eat when I'm not hungry. By the time I feel hungry, I've gone too long without eating and feel sick and don't want to eat. This is the opposite of what normal people do! Second, I am still having aversion. Basically, nothing sounds good to me, so it's hard to decide what to eat. Some things still make me feel unsettled, so I am still limited. Third, I think it's just hard to get used to trying to eat "normally" when I ate so little for the last four months.

I haven't felt the baby move yet, so I'm looking forward to that. I still am not "showing" - no one would look at me & think I was pregnant, but I can see a change a little bit in my waistline getting flatter. I think that it's going to go away completely at some point when the baby is bigger!

Well, that is probably enough for now. There may be more I wanted to say, but if I think of it I will write again, and I promise not to wait so long until my next post!

November 20, 2005

Goodbye Sebring

We went to Puyallup today, and traded in our Sebring. We were thinking about just having one car, but I didn't really want to have the motorcycle as Justin's only means of transportation to and from work. We were going to refinance & sell the Chrysler, but decided we'd pay it down and try to trade it in for something more practical for me and baby.

One of the ladies in my book club reminded me that her husband's family owns sever car dealerships down in Puyallup at our last meeting. I've been in contact with him for the last week or two about our car. He found a couple that sounded like what we were looking for, so today we headed down to check them out. He mainly works managing the Kia of Puyallup store, and was so great in helping us get a good value for our trade in, and the payments we wanted on something else. If anyone is thinking of getting a car, I would recommend talking to someone at this dealership. They have lots of new Kia's, as well as lots of used cars, and I think four other dealerships in the same area as resources and places to look.

We are now the proud owners of a 2004 Suzuki Aerio (see photo album for a visual). It's a very basic car, which is exactly what I was looking for. It has four doors - much easier for baby- is still an automatic, has power windows and A/C and gets a bit better gas mileage than our old car. I'm glad that we got it taken care of now instead of waiting any longer. Woo hoo!

Baby Questionaire

Someone posted a kind of pregnancy questionnaire on the website that I go to on WebMD, and I liked some of the questions, so decided to post it here. Maybe I'll fill it out again when I'm almost due & see what the answers are then!

Nicest comment received while pregnant? Probably that I'm going to be a good Mom. I hope they're right! To be fair though, ALL of the comments I've gotten have been nice, and my family has been great.
Rudest comment received while pregnant? Hmm... I don't think anyone has really said anything rude to me (yet).
First reaction when you found out you were pregnant? Definitely disbelief. We had been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years, and I couldn't believe that the test was actually positive! I really didn't believe it was true until my 2nd blood test came back from the doctor.
How did you tell your significant other? I went into the bedroom with the positive test and just kind of shoved it in his face.
What was your significant other's reaction? Confusion at first (I DID wake him up!), then happiness.
A guilty pleasure since being pregnant? Allowing myself to be late for work when I'm not feeling that well. And letting some things like e-mail responses and household chores fall behind so I can sit on the couch & relax after work.
What is your fav thing about being pregnant? Just being pregnant, and knowing that in only five months I'm going to be holding my little baby in my arms! Also, I love people's reactions when I tell them that I'm pregnant. It's fun!
What is your least fav thing about being pregnant? Not being able to enjoy food, and feeling sick a lot of the time. Luckily that is starting to get better.
Any names picked out yet? Yup. Abigail Edith for a girl, and Samuel Den for a boy. We even have a second girl name picked out in case we had 2 girls, Samantha Rose.
Nursery theme, if you have one picked out. Ha! This baby isn’t even getting a nursery! We have a one bedroom condo, so the crib will be in our room. We did go with a light gren sort of colored animal theme for the bedding etc we picked out though (gender neutral).
What will be the first thing you say to baby? I think I wil probably be speechless, and most likely will cry when I meet the baby. I have no idea what my first words will be!
Fav children's book? 'The Rainbow Goblins' and Chris Van Allsburg Books.
This pregnancy: planned or surprise? Planned! We are very excited to be starting our family!
Pre-pregnancy life: wild child or tame? Pretty tame. I guess I am old for my age.
Any cravings? If yes, what are they? When I first got pregnant I was craving meat, pepperoni and things. Now, I haven't been feeling well and haven't been eating much. I'm just starting to eat more, so we'll see if cravings kick in!
Which TV mom will you be most like? I hope that I will be like Lorelai Gilmore. Only talk slower and a little less.
SAHM or back to work after the baby? Stay at Home! I am very excited that we've found a way to make it work out. I'll be home as long as I can, we'll see what happens in the future.
During labor: all natural or bring on the drugs? I have wanted to have an all natural labor, but I am also a bit scared, and am thinking about the drug thing. I'm going to try to go without, and we'll see what happens. If I'm lucky, I'll take after my Mom and there won't be time for an epidural!
In-laws: love them or hate them? Love them! I got lucky with Justin, and with my step-parents, I have a GREAT family all around me.
Breast feeding or bottle? Breast feeding for sure.
What do you hope the baby gets from you/SO? From me, I hope that the baby gets my love for books, appreciation for family, and knowledge that anything is possible. From Justin, I hope that the baby gets his smarts, kindness and good sense of direction!
More kids or done? We would like to have one more after this.
Just won the lottery, what's the first thing you'd buy for yourself? I would pay off our debt, including our condo & car, then pay off debt for my parents, and my sister's student loans. Then a lot to charity.
Last movie that made you cry? Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, w hich I saw today. I won't say why for those who haven't seen/read it.
Household chore you never let SO do? I don't think there are any... up until I became totally exhausted during the pregnancy, I did a lot of the housework, I like it clean and don't mind doing it! I used to never have him vacuum, but then we got a new vacuum cleaner hat's awesome and now he doesn't mind it as much!
Household chore you absolutely refuse to do? Clean the cat litter! Especially during pregnancy! But if I HAD to, I would do it. It's the one chore I don't usually do though.
Least fav household chore? Cleaning the bathroom toilet & floor.
Do you read or sing to your baby yet? Not yet, maybe once it starts moving around more etc, as the pregnancy gets further along. And DEFINITELY after it's born!
Anyone getting on your nerves yet? Not really anyone who didn't already.
Will SO cut the cord? Probably not. It's not important to either of us.
Hold baby immediately after birth or wipe off the goo first? I'll probably defer to whatever the nurses do at the hospital I'll be at. Either one is okay with me!
Spankings or time out? Time out! I don't believe in spankings. I think discipline can be plenty effective without any hitting. Besides, how are you supposed to teach your kid not to hit people if you're hitting them?
Is your belly bigger or smaller than you thought it would be? Well, I'm not showing yet, but I didn't really expect to this far along. My weight gain, definitely smaller, I have only lost weight so far.
How many children do you want? 2
If you could pick the month and day your baby could be born, what would you pick? Hm... I don't know when I'd pick. Not in December. Actually, May seems pretty good!
Prediction: do you think you'll have a small or big baby? Hopefully small....
Will your child have to be 18 before piercings/tattoos or will you sign for them? Who knows? We'll see when the time comes. If they are going to do it anyway, I might as well sign so they can get it done somewhere safe & clean.
How much weight have you gained? Negative 24 pounds.
Beside SO, who was your fav person to tell you were pregnant? My Mom and sister. They were both so happy, but I got to tell my Mom on her birthday, which was really cool.
First thing you bought for the baby? Haven't actually bought anything ourselves yet. Our first gift was a pair of cute little booties that my Mom bought.

November 17, 2005

Test Results are Good

I got a call from my doctor at 5:00 yesterday telling me that they got my bloodwork back from my appointment on Tuesday. I was surprised/happy that they came back so fast! We had blood drawn on Tuesday for the 'Quad Screen'. For people who don't know what it is, here is a short description:

"measures the amounts of three substances in a pregnant woman's blood: alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), and estriol (uE3). The levels of these substances help estimate the risk that a fetus may have certain defects. The test results are computed based on a woman's age, her weight, her race, and how far along her pregnancy is, among other factors. The relatively new quadruple screen combines the triple screen and a test for the protein inhibin-A, which is produced by the fetus and the placenta. One large study of over 23,000 women has reported that the quadruple screen detects almost 86% of all Down syndrome cases."

I was nervous about having the test done even though there is no history of any problems in either of our families. I've heard a lot of stories about people having the test and having abnormal results, having to go through worrying and having more ultrasounds or amniocentisis, and then having it all mean nothing and having a perfectly healthy baby. We decided to have it anyway because if there WAS something detectible, we would want to know about it.

But, I got my test results back and the nurse said everything is normal and good with baby! I have been feeling so good since my doctor appointment, it really gives me a boost to hear the little heartbeat or see our little one on the ultrasound. I can't wait until I start feeling the baby move. It may seem silly, but I'm just getting to the point now where it's REALLY real to me all the time, and I am so excited!

November 15, 2005

Fourth Month Pregnancy Reflections

What I least expected with this pregnancy was:
That it would feel so unreal for so long... I still can't believe it sometimes. How happy people would be for me. How impatient and excited I would be to meet my baby.

The best bit of advice I've received is:
My best advice is from my Mom, who told me that if I really wanted to stay home with the baby and not work, there was definitely a way to make it happen even if we didn't think that we had enough money.

What has changed the most in my life with this pregnancy is:
Finances... we have a hard time with budgeting and control, but because of the baby we are getting on track and trying much harder, and I think it's going to work! Also, just things like going to bed at 9:30 and still not feeling rested enough after 10 hours of sleep, and feeling so tired all the time.

What made me realize that I was really pregnant was:
Our second ultrasound at 12 weeks where we saw the baby move for the first time.

This month's ultrasound was:
We won't have one this month... but our last one was incredible. Our little one actually looks like a baby now, and was moving his/her hands all around! I cannot wait to meet this baby.

At my prenatal visit this month I discovered that:
I love my baby more than most things in the world, and that our little guy/girl is doing just fine and results from our tests are normal.

My hopes:
That we'll be able to stick to our budget and save up the money so we won't go bankrupt when I leave my job. Just kidding, we won't go bankrupt. But I hope that we can stick to it enough to have some savings to give us a little bit of comfort. That our baby will be healthy and allow us to sleep at least for a couple of hours at night when we get home from the hospital. That I will be able to feel the baby move sooner rather than later.

My fears:
That we won't be able to fit all the baby stuff in our condo! I still get scared that something might happen to the baby, but from everyone I've talked to, that is pretty much on the mind of every pregnant woman! I am also afraid that the baby will be stubborn and won't be in the right position and we'll have to wait until it comes out to find out if it's a boy or a girl!

Back From the Doctor Happy

We got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time today! We just got home from our monthly doctor appointment, and it was great. The doctor found the heartbeat pretty quickly, and let us listen to it, it's about 150 bpm now. He also said he heard the baby moving around. I got all choked up- I know that anyone who's a mom will understand when I say how much I love this kid even though it's only four and a half inches long (or the size of an avacado. Pregnancy websites are obsessed with fruit references to describe size). I'm kind of surprised I didn't just burst into tears with the way things have been lately!

When we left, we scheduled our next appointment and our BIG ultrasound for Tuesday, December 13. Unless the baby is mean and doesn't cooperate we should be able to find out if it's a little boy or a girl!!! I am so excited, everyone send me vibes so that the next four weeks fly by, ok? They also told us to bring a VHS tape and they can record the ultrasound, so other people can see the little bean too!

I also confirmed on the accurate scale at the doctor that I've lost 24 pounds since I found out I was pregnant. The good news is that I am 16 weeks today and FINALLY starting to feel better (I think - knock on wood). So, I'm sure that the weight loss will stabilize or reverse soon.

That's the news for today! I have to go eat now...

November 9, 2005

I'm Still Here

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I started not feeling so great again at the end of last week. Last Friday I stayed home sick from work again. I felt crappy and just couldn't get going. It was only the fourth time I've called in sick since I got pregnant, but I still felt really guilty. On Monday my boss came in and asked me if I want to be here because she was worried about things that were not getting done and I told her I did. But the bottom line is that I NEED to be here. Unless I can find some other magical way to get $10,000, I need to keep working until the end of March so that we can get somewhere with our debt and savings before I leave my job. I wish there was another way, because I am distracted and I'm not doing a bad job, but I'm not the most focused person in the world right now. I am trying to give 100%, but maybe I don't have 100% to give right now? Plus I am sick of feeling sick, which isn't helping. I never thought it would be this hard! But I just keep reminding myself that in the end it's all worth it - doing whatever I can to allow myself to stay home after the baby comes is my priority.

Not only that, but every time I think that my "morning" sickness is getting better, something new happens. As in, yesterday and Monday I finally threw up in the morning while getting ready for work. So much for making it through my entire pregnancy without doing it. I am feeling better today, which is nice, but it seems like it just fluctuates between getting better and getting worse again. I'm past 15 weeks now, so I'm hoping that the end is in sight... I have heard encouraging words, and some other not-so encouraging ones (mostly that involve people saying that either their morning sickness was gone by six months, or that it never went away). Well, that's definitely my fear! But it gives me hope when I have good days.

I don't want it to seem like this is only a bad experience... it's just that those are the things that float to the surface. I have a doctor appointment in less than a week and I know that we'll get to hear the heartbeat, and I know that will re-energize my total excitement about what is happening. I just can't wait until I can feel the little bean move. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real to me! At our next doctor appointment when we schedule for our next one, I suspect we'll also get to register for our "big" ultrasound - ie finding out if this little guy is really a guy or a girl! I've heard a range that you can find out sometimes as soon as 16 weeks, but I think ours will probably be another four week wait - so around week 20, which will begin on 12/13. I can't wait!!! At this doctor appointment I'm also going to ask about baby classes at the hospital - when we should do them and when we need to be registered by.

So, all in all things are going all right and moving along. We got our new bed delivered on Saturday and it is SO comfortable!! I am still waking up and tossing and turning, but not as much, and when I'm asleep I can tell I'm sleeping better. It's really great!!

I'm also really starting to get excited about Christmas, and my visit to New Jersey/Pennsylvania! I just can't wait to see everyone. Well, that better be all for now, I've got stuff to do!

November 4, 2005

Another Week Gone!

It's Sunday night again, my least favorite time of the week. I'll have to get to bed in less than an hour and will probably still feel sick in the morning. Urgh, the week always seems so long on Monday morning. The good news is that I have not thrown up since last Tuesday... I felt bad those two days, so maybe there was something else going on too? I don't know. I feel all right now. I think maybe I'm evening out a little now that I figured out I pretty much have to eat SOMETHING every 2-3 hours. But I'm still not eating a lot of food...

In the last 2 days, people have asked both Justin and I if a) I am getting bigger and b) if I'm showing. Well, the answer to both is no. Last time I went to the doctor four weeks ago, I had lost 15 pounds, and am pretty sure I've lost more since then. Going by my scale at home, up to 25 lbs, but I don't know how accurate it is. I have another doctor appointment this Tuesday, so we'll find out a correct number then. The other part of it is that because of my weight in general, I will not start to show until a little later in the pregnancy. We'll see how things go! Like I said before, some other sign that I'm pregnant besides feeling bad/odd would be nice.

I am starting to get excited for the next 2 months. We have a lot of big stuff starting to come up! Well... let's see. Next weekend the new Harry Potter movie comes out, which we are all very excited to see. Then on the 21st Brooke, Justin, Dave & I are going to see Gwen Stefani at the Key Arena. The 23rd is my 25th birthday, and Mom will be here because the next day is Thanksgiving and the three of us are going to Justin's Mom's down in Grapeview. Then, we are almost in December! December 10 is Mom's concert, and we are very excited to go and hear her solo! Then it's just 12 days until Kira, Justin and I leave for our trip to New Jersey! Oh, and not to forget that sometime before that in December, we should be able to find out if this little bean is a Sam or an Abby!! Exciting... I think time will start moving quicker now with all of this happening! Woo!

November 3, 2005

The Good & The Bad

The Bad:

Why is it that every time I think I am really getting better, I start feeling yucky in some way or another? Last week I started eating more... but since then I have reverted to nothing sounding appealing to me. Sometimes I get hungry, but when I do, it's so hard to decide what to eat that doesn't sound like it will make me sick. Now in the last couple of days I feel sick again. It's different now... like, before I mostly just felt nauseous, but didn't usually feel like I might have to run to the bathroom and hurl at any moment. Well, that's sort of what I feel like now. It's all so frustrating, because I know I need to eat, I feel sick if I don't eat enough, but then I feel sick if I do eat. Argh.... I just want this to get better. I'm in week 14 now, so hopefully it will go away soon....

The Good:

Firstly, we are getting a new bed this weekend! We already picked it out, it's getting delivered to our apartment on Saturday. It's a king sized bed. I will admit to the embarrassing fact that our current matress was one of those cheap-o Sleep Country $99 specials, and we have been sleeping on it for five years. As soon as we went to check out new ones, we realized how crappy ours is. I am SO excited! We went last night and bought two sets of sheets (jersey... soft), and a 'bed in a bag' that came with some sheets, a comforter, dust ruffle etc. Shockingly, they are all some incarnation of blue. It is going to be tight in our bedroom with the bigger bed and the baby stuff, but it is also worth it to have a bed that isn't so crowded and allows us to sleep better. This is our Christmas gift from Justin's Mom & her husband, who hopefully realize that it's more than just a bed... it's the gift of me being able to sleep better now and get more rest so I feel better, and of having a comfortable place to sleep when we are getting much less after the baby comes. It will make those short stints of sleep much more valuable! It will also make us much more comfortable in a few years when little Abby or Sam has a bad dream and comes to our room in the middle of the night. That would be quite a squeeze on our current bed!

Secondly, other than feeling sick things are going well. Work is good... we are about to reach our target of 400 groups attending our workshops for the year. As of about 30 minutes ago, we are at 399!!! It will be the first time that Raising More Money has ever actually reached this particular target, and everyone is very excited about it! I've gotten 4 out of the 5 open positions filled in the last month, and the people who have already started are doing well.

Neither Good or Bad, but kind of funny:

Here is a list of a few of the things that have made me tear up and/or cry in the last couple of weeks: Listening to Laurie talk about a person in the seminar she took last weekend who, at 87 years old, is giving up the action of "It has to be my way"; listening to Laurie talk about the pictures she took of her friend with her newborn baby in the hospital at the moment she said hello; a story on the news about these little 6 year olds somewhere who were doing a skit of the Rosa Parks story and acting the whole thing out - they were SO cute; Toby confessing and the president being mean to him on The West Wing; getting home from a party where I saw a bunch of old friends from Borders who I don't see very often... I am sure there is more but I don't know what right now.

By the way, in the time I've spent writing this blog I have gone from almost throwing up to feeling normal. Crazy baby!

October 30, 2005

Baby Crazy

Hmm... well, apparently since I moved into my 2nd tri-mester and told everyone about the baby I have become baby crazy. Yesterday we went to Babies'R'Us and started our registry. It is available online as well, at and at Toys'R'Us stores too since most of them have a baby section. I managed to be in the baby store for over an hour and not buy anything, but after we finished registering, I made Justin leave right away because I had urges... it is too early to buy stuff!!! Luckily, we went over to Brooke & Dave's to hang out last night and got an infant car seat and playard from them. They're cute - light green with animals on them. I am so happy that we are going to be getting so much stuff from them. Even just getting those things and the crib is great, but Brooke's also giving me clothes and possibly the stroller as well, which matches the infant car seat & playard. Yay!!!! I'M SO EXCITED! Now I just have to TRY and wait patiently until we can find out if it's a boy or girl, which should be sometime in December.

October 26, 2005

I Can Eat Real Food Again!

Sorry I haven't been writing much the last few days. Kira, Justin and I went to Bellingham last weekend and visited. We hung out with Mom, saw Rob, and Leela. We had a good time. Mom gave us our FIRST baby present. Check out the photo album to see it.

So, GREAT news... my morning sickness has gotten a TON better in the last four days! I can eat real food again! I don't have my full normal appetite back yet, but I just ate a delicious homemade burrito with rice, guacamole, cheese & beef! It was soooo good. I am so excited that I can eat more than just cereal again and hopefully it will just keep getting better. I guess 13 weeks/second tri-mester really IS the magic number!

Justin is also the best husband in the whole world. Two days ago I said I wanted ice cream and he went down to the car to get some things we bought last weekend at the farmers market and he went to Dairy Queen and got me a delicious Cappucino Heath Blizzard! Then last night I said he should make cookies & he made cookies! He has been doing so much, doing the dishes, and housework. It's been so helpful to me and wonderful. I can't wait for him to be a Dad, I know he is going to be so great at it.

Well, I'm off to relax and watch The Colbert Report from last night. Steven Colbert is funny....

October 21, 2005

Baby Stuff

I have started looking at baby stuff online. Well, I've looked a little bit before but I think that we're going to head over to Babies'R'Us soon and do our registry. I found an animal theme that I like there, so maybe we'll check it out. I guess I'm feeling better because my dread about registering is morphing into only excitement!

I just got an e-mail from Tara, my friend who had her baby last weekend! She is doing well after a rough few nights home. I know that right now I am excited, but also scared. I know that labor is different for everyone, but the thought of all of it is a little bit daunting! I know that it will all work out and there is no part of me that doesn't think it's worth it. Even all of this stupid morning sickness is worth it!

Speaking of which, I think I'm really starting to feel better. I have been to work on time every day this week, and actually got a lot more done in the last 2 days - I felt more productive & able to focus. I still feel sick, but the mornings have gotten easier and I have longer periods of feeling ok. I'm still not eating like normal, but am eating more as now if I don't eat lunch and make sure to eat something substantial in the evening, I get headaches!

I am really looking forward to making my announcement at work, which will happen either tomorrow or Monday morning at the staff meeting. I can't wait until it's not a secret anymore! Plus, I admit, it is pretty fun to tell people. Especially people who knew that we were trying! We have gotten so many nice e-mails and notes in the guestbook here, it's just wonderful! Thanks so much to everyone!

Well, it's almost 10 and I better head to bed so I can have a whole week of on-time work days! Kira is coming up tomorrow and we're going to Bellingham for the weekend to visit. I haven't been up in a while because I haven't felt like riding in the car for that long, but hopefully I'll do okay now. We're coming back Sunday morning so I can go to my friend's little girl's 1st birthday party! Her mom is Kelly, who is due only 2 days after me! Exciting. All right, I'm off!

October 18, 2005

Welcome to our Blog!

If you are here because you got my e-mail, this will be the first journal entry you see. Welcome to our website! I am sooooooo excited to send the e-mail out and tell everyone our news, and I'm writing this while I wait for Justin to get our ultrasound picture from today scanned into the computer so I can put it up here.

We just got back from our 12 week dr. appt, Justin met the doctor and they weighed me. I've lost almost 15 lbs - so you can tell I really have not been eating! I'm sure that when I feel better that some of it will come back though. Nothing to worry about. Then they took my blood pressure etc. and that was going to be it... I asked the doctor if we were going to have an ultrasound because last time we were there, the nurse said we'd have one at this appointment. What she apparently didn't tell us was that you have to schedule your ultrasound seperately from your appointment because the ultrasound technician works for more than 1 doctor and has her own schedule. He said we could schedule one in the next week or two, and that's when I told him what the nurse had said, and that at my 7 week ultrasound they actually hadn't done any measurements or told me anything much other than hey, there's a baby in there. So, he went to go see if the technician was still there, and she wasn't, but he said he would do one real quick if we wanted. So, we still got our ultrasound!

We saw the baby move for the first time today!!! It was moving around and moving it's arms all around! It was incredible. If I wasn't so sick, I'd still be having trouble believing that this is really happening!! Yay! We didn't get to hear the heartbeat - I figured since I forced the dr to give me an ultrasound, I can hear the heartbeat next time. The baby is doing well and is measuring at 12 weeks 3 days, so good sized. My next appointment is in 4 weeks and I'll have blood drawn then for some more tests. I'm excited to be moving into my second tri-mester and hopefully feeling better soon!


It's 9:22 and I'm about to head off to bed. The TV is off and Justin is asleep on the couch, and I'm not feeling too sick. I am feeling very peaceful right now. I think maybe I'm starting to feel better from the sickness (for real this time hopefully). I still don't feel like myself, but I have longer bouts of being more normal feeling and am able to eat a little bit more normal food. I have been eating a lot of fruit leather, it's easy and doesn't make me feel sick, plus it's fruit! I can't wait until our doctor appointment tomorrow and seeing the baby again. I feel like I have been waiting forever.

I had a really bad day at work today - just felt really stressed out and overwhelmed and the pregnancy hormones aren't helping. I feel like there is so much to do, I am getting behind and am supposed to be hiring for four positions. One of the ones I'm trying to fill is my old job, and the person in it now is leaving, this Friday is his last day. So, since we're obviously not going to have it done by then it means that 1. Starting Monday, I'm probably going to have to do all of it, and 2. I'm going to have to be the one to train whoever we get to replace him. We have one more person coming in on Thursday for an interview, so we'll see how that goes. With all of this stuff, and pressure, I feel like shutting down, like running away and hiding instead of doing my job.

I am also supposed to go to this seminar in 2 weeks (Oct 28-30) and I don't think I can do it. There are several reasons, including that it runs 10 AM - Midnight and I can't even imagine staying up that late, especially 3 days in a row. I can barely stay awake past 9:30! I am also not sure that now is the right time... it's a sort of a personal development thing, and I don't think that with all of the hormones and being so tired that it's necessarily the best time to go to this. If I go, I want to be able to be there and I don't feel like I can. The problem is that I already paid the tuition, and $500 is a pretty big chunk of change. Hence, needing to call them. It's normally non-refundable, but I feel like this is a legitimate thing that I didn't know about. How could you know what this felt like unless you had been pregnant before!

Anyhow, despite everything in my world, I feel good right now. I'm happy. We're getting our money figured out and I am counting down the 4 1/2 more months that I'll be working. I am so excited and happy... Today I was at Fred Meyer getting a few things and I was walking through the clothes section and passed through the baby section. It was so great to be there and to feel happy, and excited thinking about our baby. We have wanted this for a long time, maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but for us, during that time, it seemed like forever. I guess it's true - all it took was letting go a little bit, and we got our blessing. I feel weird saying that, because I'm not a religious person or anything, but I don't know how better to describe it. I love the baby so much already and I haven't even seen a picture of it that looks baby-like! I feel like it's some kind of miracle...

October 17, 2005

Tidbits About Baby

197 days until our due date!
My Birthstone is Emerald (Love, Success)
My Flower is Lily of the Valley or Hawthorn (Yellow, Red and Green)
My Astrological Sign is Taurus
I'll be born in the Chinese Year of The Dog
I will start kindergarten in 2011,
be old enough to drive a car in 2022,
and will graduate High School with the Class of 2024

Only 1 more day until I get to spread the good news! I am soooooo excited to tell everyone about the little bean! Last night Justin's Mom asked us about baby stuff we want. I guess that means it's about time to go and register! In a way I'm looking forward to it, because I can't wait to go to Babies'R'Us and actually be excited that it's MY baby this time! But in another way I am scared because I remember registering for the wedding and this is going to take longer, and I will know less about what the heck I'm doing! I'm afraid that if we go when I'm still not feeling that well, it will be hard for me to get through it! We'll see. We should have a registry within the next couple of weeks!

October 16, 2005


I am so excited! I just got the news that my friend Tara, who was due on 10/20, just had her litle baby this morning! He was born around 8:00 AM after 14 hours of labor and is doing well! I can't wait to meet little Nathaniel Bergman!!!

October 15, 2005

Third Month Pregnancy Reflections

What I'm enjoying the most about my pregnancy so far is:
People's reactions when I tell them I'm pregnant! It's making it so hard to keep it a secret when everyone gets so excited! The more time goes by, the happier I am about everything going so well for me & the pregnancy so far! I can't wait to tell EVERYONE!

The strangest advice I've received is:
Someone suggested the possibility of Justin joining the military so I wouldn't have to work after the baby came. It's not really advice, but I definitely thought it was strange!

Names that I've been thinking of:
Abigail Edith (Abby) for a girl, Samuel Den (Sam) for a boy

Girl or boy? I think you will be a:
Boy. I am hoping for a girl, but for some reason I have this subconcious thought that it's a boy.

The old wives tales predict:
So far, the few I've seen predict a girl!

At my prenatal visit this month I found out that:
The baby is doing well and measuring 3 days ahead of schedule. We had an ultrasound and saw the baby move! It was incredible. Of course it is too early to feel any movement, but seeing it definitely made it more real and I feel great!

My hopes:
We'll be able to stick to our budget and the plan of paying off a couple of our credit cards etc before I leave my job.

My fears:
That I'll be sick through the entire pregnancy instead of just the first trimester...

October 13, 2005

Okay, Enough is Enough

Yuuuuuuuuck! I stayed home from work again today. I feel like I've been missing a lot of work, but really I've only missed 3 days the whole time I've been pregnant. I've been late a bunch of times, but I've made up all of those hours. It's been easier to make time up since I stopped taking lunches. Since I can't really eat, there's no point in taking a long break when I have things to do. This morning I couldn't even sit up without feeling like I was going to hurl. How am I supposed to get ready & go to work when I can't even sit up!?

Sigh... I'm trying to make sure I'm eating enough, keeping something in my stomach, but it's so hard when my choices are so limited. I mean, at this point it's pretty much cheerios, crackers and bagels or english muffins. Sometimes I can handle macaroni & cheese or ramen noodles. Anytime I eat anything with more (cheese, meat, most sauce), I just feel terrible afterwards. The last couple days I made orange juice slushees (just ice, OJ and a litlte bit of frozen OJ blended up). Drinking something cold like that seems to help, and it's at least some nutrition.

It's just so frustrating for me because I don't want people to think they can't count on me, but there is literally nothing I can do about it! Normally when you're sick there are at least a few things that you can do to make yourself better, but I don't really have any control here. I'm going to feel lousy until the little bean lets me feel better! Every day that goes by I hope that I'm getting toward the end of this. I'm 11w2d today, so I'll be 12 weeks next Tuesday and at the end of my first trimester. I am looking forward to the second - people saying they get their energy back and feel better gives me hope at least. Although, Laurie told me at work that when she told Terry why I was sick, Terry said that it should go away by the 14th or 15th week. Too long!!! At least she understood, she also said that morning sickness is not like anything else and you can't really understand it unless you've been there yourself. Anyhow, everybody send me 'feel better' vibes, okay? By the time this is over I'll probably be so sick of bread I'll convert to the Atkins diet. Okay.... that would never happen, but you know what I mean!

October 11, 2005

Take a Load Off

I just had a meeting with my boss, Laurie, and told her that I am going to leave the company in March. This morning she told Terry & Suzanne my news, which was totally fine, I knew it might come to the point where other managers would have to know because they would be wondering why I was sick so much. I know she probably reassured them that I was not leaving after the baby, so I decided to let her know even though we don't have everything exactly squared away yet. Justin and I are both confident that we'll get it all figured out soon. I told her that it was really hard to leave this company, it's the best job I've had and she is honestly the best boss I've ever had, and I'll miss it. But my heart is not in it to put my little one in daycare as an infant, even if it's only a couple of days a week. Luckily, her offer to come & take pictures of us and the baby still stands, and I'm probably going to have her come to the hospital and take pictures there as well.

So, my plan right now is to leave at the end of March, but if we get someone in here and trained and they don't need me anymore, then I'll leave sooner. We'll probably start the hiring process in January sometime.

Justin has been so great, and understanding about why this is so important to me, and is working a second job doing testing for some computer software, and that is part of the reason that this whole thing is going to work out. The other big reason is Justin's Dad, who is wonderful and helping us to figure everything out. He's a blessing!

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest, and I'm really happy about that. I'll make the announcement in a staff meeting either Fri 10/21 or Mon 10/24 to let everyone know my news and that I'll be leaving in a few months. Yay!

Ups & Downs

Every time that I think I am starting to get better, something quickly happens to change my mind. I was able to eat some semi "normal" food on Saturday night, but did not feel too hot the next morning. Yesterday I actually felt hungry and ate a sandwich, and ended up feeling terrible for the rest of the day. I guess I should just stick to cereal and english muffins.

Once again I'm home at 10:00 because I felt so crappy when I got up, I couldn't imagine actually getting ready and going to work. Even now, I feel a little better, but it's still a struggle right now convincing myself to get in the shower and drive to work. To top it all off, I'm in the middle of trying to hire for 4 positions, and 3 of them need to be filled ASAP, so I am doing a lot of phone interviews, which is really fun to try and concentrate on when I feel crappy. I can't wait until later this week when I start doing in person ones.

It's so frustrating! I feel like a broken record when every time Justin or friends ask how I am, I am sick. I just want to feel "normal" again!

October 9, 2005

Bit by Bit

I still don't feel that great, but tonight I ate 2 pieces of garlic cheese bread and I don't feel really sick. Things seem to be looking up - very slowly. This is the second night I've been up way past my bedtime (this entry will probably show 10/9, but it's actually 10/8 at 11:24 pm). Last night I was up until almost midnight. I haven't stayed up that late in 6 weeks!

Only 9 more days until my next ultrasound, and our big announcement. I'm so excited! I can't wait to let everyone know that we are starting our family. I might not be able to tell people at work right away, depending on where we are with our post-baby planning by then. Hopefully we will get it all figured out very soon so I can get this weight off my chest. I have started feeling bad about the whole thing, and really anxious to talk to my boss about it, but I also don't want to make any kind of announcement until we have everything in place for later just in case they don't take it that well and want me to leave before March. I'm hoping to keep working until the middle or end of March, but if that doesn't work out, it's all right. The longer I can work the more we can save up for a while for the baby things we'll need. We're lucky to have lots of friends with babies, which means offers of hand-me-downs. Brooke & Dave offered us their crib, which was really nice, and will save money for us.

Well, I'm off to bed! I'm planning some shopping & a movie tomorrow, which sounds simple, but I'll definitely need my rest. It's weird the things that can sap your energy when there's already a little person inside you stealing most of it. Justin says hello to all of you who may be reading. He's very excited about the appointment next week and is also anxious to share our news.

October 6, 2005

I Was Wrong

Remember when I said that I was feeling better and thought my morning sickness was going to go away? Yeah, I was wrong. It's not better, just different. Now I don't feel nauseous 100% of the time - I get several hours of relief per day. Unless I try to eat anything besides bread products and maybe some fruit. Then I feel terrible. Also I don't want to eat at all, and sometimes I can't tell if I am hungry or just feeling nauseous. I'm eating dry Kix cereal out of a bowl right now.

The other night we went to hang out & order Thai food at Tara & Phil's with the Dormans & Whalen-Robinsons. I didn't even bother ordering a dish - I couldn't eat anything. Hopefully I will actually start to get better for real soon. I miss things like CHEESE. I miss most things that are not bread. On another note, Tara is giant and she's not due for another week or 2 weeks, but it's into the stage now where I feel like it could happen at any time! I can't wait to meet Baby Boy Bergman!!!

October 4, 2005

10 Weeks Today!

I am 10 weeks today! That means the baby is now a fetus. Only 2 more weeks until my next ultrasound. I am still feeling sick in the mornings, mostly. I don't feel well at all right now, but I need to get ready for work. During the day I definitely feel better, but still can't eat 'normal' food, and am taking it easy on that front.

Yesterday I felt sick and decided to call in late to work, and sleep a little extra then finally go get my blood drawn since I had put it off for almost 2 weeks. So, I go down to the car and look at the little paper attached to my lab requisition. It has 3 locations listed with little maps of their locations. I decided to go to the Redmond location because it was closest to home. So I drive all the way there, get out of the car, and there is a sign on the door saying that location is close as of MAY 13, 2005! That's like 5 months ago!! So I drive to the 2nd location and go inside and there is a sign on the door saying they've moved (to the 3rd location) and are no longer open. Agh! 45 wasted minutes of driving around later, I finally get to the lab and luckily she is able to draw on the first try. I called my doctor's office to tell them not to send people to those places anymore. Also, I have never had so much blood drawn in my life! They took a lot!

That's about all that's going on around here. I'm really looking forward to the day when I don't wake up feeling sick.

October 3, 2005

Woo hoo!

Today I had another day of feeling better! I still don't feel great, but I have not been nauseous all the time and have actually felt 'normal' a couple of times today. I am so glad that things seem to be getting better! I think I am past the hardest part in that area. I still can't eat regular food, as I found out the hard way last night after trying to actually eat dinner. But more Cherrios and Kix and bagels for a while is okay as long as I don't feel like throwing them up.

I had book club tonight & almost told the people there about the baby. I decided to wait the 2 more weeks I'm going to wait with everyone else though... I really want to see the new ultrasound before telling everyone.

I'm feeling a little bit anxious about getting our situation figured out for after the baby comes. I realized today that I can't tell people at work about the baby until we figure out our exact plan and get it rolling. I know that as soon as I tell people, they're goign to wonder whether I'm coming back to work or not, so I need to be able to tell Laurie that I'm leaving before I tell anyone else at work. I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to tell her, but I'm hoping that she will understand.

It's after 9:30 and I don't feel quite as tired as normal, but I probably better go to bed soon anyway so I can get up and be at work on time tomorrow!

September 30, 2005

Knock on Wood

Okay, I don't want to jinx myself or anything, so everyone knock on wood, but I feel a lot better today. I don't know if it's just a fluke or if I'm starting to recover from the dreaded morning sickness. I was actually hungry, and regular food didn't sound as disgusting as it normally does! I'm really in the countdown now for waiting to tell everyone about the baby! Only 18 more days! I really can't wait, I just want to have the ultrasound and see the baby again before spreading the news.

Hopefully, everything will continue along this upward spiral! We're going to the movies tonight to see 'Serenity', which we have been waiting for for about a year! Hopefully I'll feel good enough to enjoy some popcorn. Baby went to his/her 2nd concert the other night - Green Day! The first was Ben Folds & Rufus Wainwright at the winery in Woodinville. Accidental alliteration! Anyhow, I'm planning on lying around this weekend and not doing much other than book club on Sunday. Wouldn't it be great if I woke up Monday actually feeling normal?!

September 29, 2005


I think I have Pregnancy Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm back at work today but I CAN'T FOCUS!!! I know I have to keep working at least for the next 5 or 6 months, but it's been a struggle!

The good news (knock on wood) is that I am feeling better today than I have any time in the last week. I'm 9w2d today, so maybe this is FINALLY starting to subside. In any case, I'm feeling more hopeful today that the feeling sick all the time won't go on too much longer.

The closer I get to my 12 week mark, the better I feel. In a way it seems like a silly marker or goal, but once I get into the second tri-mester, and see my 12 w ultrasound where it actually looks more baby-like (which I will post that day for everyone to see!), everything will be more real and more relaxed for me. Also, I cannot wait to share the news with the rest of my friends and family, and people at work who knew we were trying. It's so exciting! Despite being sick and tired all the time, I am so happy. My life is turning out just great. I can't wait to have this baby and share yet another joy in life with Justin, who is one of the best parts of my life. Yay!

September 27, 2005

I Wish to Hibernate Now

I finally gave in and called in sick to work today. I'm 9 weeks today and have been feeling so crappy. I stil haven't thrown up (at least something good!), but I am nauseous for about 12 out of the 15 or so hours I'm awake every day. I haven't been able to stay up much past 9:30 lately. If I do, getting up and getting ready for work in the morning to get there on time is almost impossible. I wish that I coud go to sleep for the next three weeks and then wake up feeling better.

I am really happy even though I haven't been feeling well. I was talking to Mom this weekend about our plans for after the baby comes. I was planning to go back to work because I didn't think there was another option with our bills etc. But I realized that I REALLY don't want to go back to work. It's important to me to to figure out how I can stay home with the baby, and I'm committed to finding a way to make it work. I've looked at our finances a little bit and I am convinced that there is a way to do it. I'm really excited about this, although it's going to be really hard to tell my boss. I've told them I wasn't leaving and that Justin was going to stay home. But I did not realize that there was another possibility. I know that this is what is best for my baby and for my family, and I am sad to let them down because I love my job, but my family is the most important thing and has to come first. Hopefully soon we'll have an exact plan in place, and as soon as we do, I'll tell them so they'll have plenty of time to replace me & get someone else trained. As long as everything works out the way I think it will, I'll probably keep working until the end of March then be done. Wish us luck!

September 22, 2005

Wonky Hormones Too

Okay, so I know that I am definitely a little on the emotional side, and am always crying at TV shows and the movies. But lately, I cry at almost everything I watch. Including parts of the news. There was this story on the other day about this blind guy in New Orleans who had to leave his seeing eye dog behind when they evacuated and then they showed this video of him re-uniting with his dog. I was crying. Then of course, all of the shows are coming back on and making me sniffle... then Justin asks 'are you crying' and I'm like, leave me alone! At least now I can blame it on crazy pregnant lady hormones.

It's not just TV though. The other day we got a congratulations card from Justin's Mom, and inside of it was a gift certificate to Lane Bryant (my favorite store) for the "mom to be". I started crying in the car when I read it! I am such a goofball....

Feeling Better

I am feeling better today. I think maybe I was overambitious somehow on Tuesday with whatever food I ate. Yesterday I pretty much ate carbs all day and the biggest meal I ate was a slice of pizza for dinner. I felt pretty bad this morning - really tired. I really, really wanted to call in sick for work, but here I am. I just got done with a big project of re-organizing & cleaning out the entire office supplies area, which took my mind off things. Now I'm on my lunch break and thought I'd make an entry before I leave to get something to eat.

I can't eat saltines anymore. I ate so many for a few weeks, and they really did help my queasy stomach, but now they are soooo unapetizing to me! I have moved on to eating plain Cheerios with no milk. I ate some this morning after I was trying to make myself get ready for work, and they sat well, so we'll see how long it takes me to get sick of those.

September 21, 2005

More Ugh and A Good Doctor Appointment

Yuck. The last few days I have felt worse and worse every day. Getting up in the morning & getting to work on time is increasingly difficult. I have had about 1 hour of relief today from the "morning" sickness. Now (knock on wood), I haven't actually been sick yet, just terribly nauseated and sometimes wishing that I would get sick and that it would make me feel better! I am 8 weeks 1 day now, and am NOT looking forward to a possible 4 (or more) more weeks of this!! I don't think I'm eating enough, but it's hard to eat because everything sounds pretty gross and I'm afraid it will make me feel worse. I have been snacking constantly on crackers, and mostly eating a lot of carbs.

On a better note, I had my 2nd doctor appointment yesterday. It was my first appointment with my real OBGYN. I met with the nurse practitioner and she asked me about 1000 questions about my health/family background etc. Then she told me a bunch of stuff that I should not eat/do, and the debate over deli meats that Justin and I have been having was resolved. She also gave us a free diaper bag with hospital info, baby books and some free enfamil formula etc and scheduled me for my next appointment in 4 weeks, at which time I will have my 2nd ultrasound (yay!). I'll be sure to post those pictures as soon as they come. I also have a couple of other pictures to post, so keep your eye out!

I am dying to share my news with the whole world. Our original plan was to wait until 12 weeks, but it's possible I'm breaking down and won't wait the full time. We'll see... it would be nice to be able to explain to people why I look so miserable.

September 15, 2005

Second Month Pregnancy Reflections

The hardest thing for me to give up is:

Being well rested! I haven't really had to give up any foods/drinks. I don't drink much alcohol and I don't drink enough caffeine to do any harm to the baby. I don't clean the litter boxes, but that's not really hard to give up! Ha.

This month I told:

Leela, Tara, Kelly Dorman, Dad & Helene

They reacted by:

They were all happy - it's so fun to tell people! Kelly is pregnant too and was so happy for me - they all were - because they know how long we have wanted this!

This month at my prenatal visit I learned that:

I saw the baby at my first ultrasound on 9/13/05. We got to see the heartbeat and I teared up a little. Haven't had my first big pre-natal visit yet.

New pregnancy symptoms I had this month:

Nausea!! Uck.

My hopes:

That I won't get any more sick than I am now. That I'll be a good mom! The usual I guess :-)

My fears:

Throwing up. Really. It hasn't happened yet, which is great. Also, giving birth is scary. I know that I can do it, but the whole idea just seems so messy and painful! I know that I won't care when it actually happens though, especially once I see my baby. And it's all worth it, I know that for sure.

September 14, 2005


Getting out of bed is so hard these days! I just want to sleep for a couple more hours... I'm getting ready to get in the shower, but I don't really like the idea of standing up right now. I guess I'm lucky that I haven't had morning sickness too bad yet, but what I am feeling still sucks!

On a good note, I called my regular dr. yesterday to make my first REAL dr. appointment. My other doctor said that they'd probably schedule me in 2-4 weeks, but when I called they made me an appointment for next Tuesday! I was really happy, I only have to wait a week before that! The only thing that sucks is I know they're going to take blood. Hopefully I can drink enough water beforehand so it's not so hard from him. When I went for the bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy, they had to draw it from the back of my had both times.

All right, enough avoidance, I better go get ready for work!

September 13, 2005

First Doctor Appointment Today!

I just got back from my 1st post-pregnancy doctor appointment at the reproductive clinic. It was just for an ultrasound, they'll do the full exam when I go in to my regular doctor in a few weeks.

We saw the baby! Well, it doesn't really look like a baby yet, but we saw the little blob. It's too early to hear the heartbeat, but we did get to see it. It was like a little fluttering light. I got really nervous just beforehand while we were waiting for the doctor to come in. But everything is fine and I will call later today to make my first appointment with my regular doctor!

It hasn't been too bad... my feet seem to be getting a little bit better - sometimes after I've been sitting or sleeping for a while they almost seem back to normal. But by the end of the day, they're usually puffy and swollen again. I've started to feel a little bit of morning sickness, but mostly I just feel queasy (no throwing up or anything). I'm crossing my fingers that it won't get worse. The main thing now is that I'm super tired all the time. But it's worth it of course!

I found out on Sunday that Kelly from my book club is also pregnant, and due 2 days after I am! I decided to share the news with her since I was so excited about it. It will be fun to have another baby so close in age around! Well, back to work. I'll post again soon.

September 7, 2005


I am 6 weeks today! As time goes by, it starts to feel more real. I think that my doctor appointment next Tuesday will really make it real for me, when I get to see the baby and the heartbeat. I can't wait - a week seems like forever, but it will probably go by fast.

I am SO tired. It's 9:30 and I'm about to go to bed, which anyone who knows me will know is REALLY early for me. I feel like I could go to sleep for a week. This little bean is sucking all my energy out! So I have been a LITTLE distracted at work... between the tiredness and my swollen feet (yes, it's been that way for over 2 weeks now). I've woken up nauseous the last 2 days and have been snacking on crackers. Hopefully I won't get too sick... but I am still waiting to find out about that one.

I still want to tell everyone, but at the same time am not ready. I hope that the next 7 weeks go by fast so that I can share my good news. I got to see Leela this weekend and tell her, but I think other than that we're done sharing the news for now. It's been the best sharing with people who know what we've been going through with trying to conceive, but I really can't wait to tell all the ladies in my book club! I'll probably wait until the Nov meeting, I'll be almost 15 weeks then.

The time is crawling by, but at the same time going fast. The days don't go by fast, but then suddenly I realize that it's Friday and a week has gone by!

August 31, 2005

Baby on the Brain

Well, I hit 5 weeks yesterday and I've got baby on the brain! I can't stop thinking about it, but I think that's pretty normal. We have shared the news with a few people - My mom, Justin's mom, Rob, Justin's Dad, Kira & Jason as well as our best friends Brooke & Dave. We're going to wait until the 2nd trimester for everyone else, which is probably when they'll see this web site!

I'm so excited, and it's been so fun telling my family that it's been hard to keep it a secret! People's reactions are funny. I'm so glad that my baby is going to have such a great family to grow up in!

Things are going pretty well so far. I'm really, really tired, and have been for the past couple of weeks. Last night Brooke asked me how I was at about 6:30 and I said, I think I could go to bed right now and sleep until tomorrow. I'm trying not to turn in to someone who goes to bed at 8:00 though! It's funny because I'm tired, but I don't care that I'm tired because it's worth it!

My feet are still swollen and most of my shoes don't fit. I'm going to ask the doctor about it. I think that normally this doesn't happen to people until later on (like 3rd trimester), but maybe it's normal? All I know is that I hope it doesn't last the next 8 months, because if it does I'm going to have to buy some new shoes! Size 9 (10??) here I come!

August 26, 2005


I can't believe that it's finally happening! I just got my results back from my 2nd blood test, and the numbers are great, I have my first ultrasound appointment scheduled for September 13 (7 week appt).

I'm so excited! I really can't wait to tell people, but I'm going to wait until past the 12 week mark to tell most people. My Mom knows, and so do Justin's Mom, Dad & Brother and my best friend. But I won't start actually announcing it or telling anyone about this journal until the end of October probably.

It's funny, we kind of have a running joke in our book club that every time someone has a baby, someone else announces that they're pregnant. I guess that means that Molly will be announcing her pregnancy next May. Haha.

August 15, 2005

First Month Pregnancy Reflections

I started thinking I might be pregnant when:
I went to put my shoes on one morning and they didn't fit because my feet were swollen.

I found out I was pregnant when I:
I was up to day 30 of my cycle and decided to test, and it was positive! I didn't really trust it until after the dr did a couple of tests.

I felt:
Ecstatic! But at the same time, really disbelieving! I could not believe it was really true!

The first person I told was:
My husband, I shoved the pregnancy test in his face when he was sleeping and said wake up, wake up!

They reacted by:
Confusion (well, he just woke up!) and happiness!

The first ultrasound was:
I am scheduled for my 1st appt on 9/13/05.

My baby will be born:
May 2006

The strangest symptom of pregnancy I had this month was:
Definitely the sausage feet.

My hopes:
To not be too sick and to have a healthy, wonderful baby!

My fears:
Sickness, the actual birth...

March 7, 2005


Ah, another Monday. This week won't be so bad since I have Wednesday off, but the weekends always go by too quick. Saturday was the Pirate Party (Arrrr...) for Brooke & Seamus's birthdays. It was a lot of fun. Then on Sunday we had our book club. It might need to be changed to book & baby club though since we kid-less people are becoming totally outnumbered by the people with babies! They'll all be a smart little gang of readers one day. So only tomorrow, then I get to sleep in Wednesday. I'm going to hang out with Brooke & go to Everett to see Duran Duran. We went and worked out today, which was good. Tomorrow we might go see "Cursed". I'm looking forward to it.

March 4, 2005

All the News that's Fit to Print

Well... I thought today I'd look at the lighter side of the news. Here are my favorite headlines (some with partial text as I thought they merited it). Enjoy!

Tiny Eels Netting Higher Prices than Caviar as Asians Snap Them Up

Less Swearing on TV, Demands Former Sex Pistol

Cat Survives 10-Mile Trip on Top of Car

US man's face torn off by chimps during birthday visit to simian pal

An American animal lover's face was torn off in a savage attack by two huge chimpanzees as he delivered a birthday cake to his former chimp pet of 30 years, officials said.

St. James Davis had severe facial injuries and would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose, Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield. His testicles and a foot also were severed, Kern County Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian.

One in three couples in Philippines don't know birds from the bees: official

As many as 30 percent of couples in the Philippines are unaware that having sex can result in babies, Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit said.

"They do not know how pregnancy happens," even though some of them have had numerous children already, Dayrit remarked

Boy Sets Off for School at Dead of Night

BERLIN (Reuters) - Astonished German police picked up an 8-year-old boy at 3 a.m. who had accidentally set off to school thinking he was late, authorities said Thursday.

"He seemed to have got into a panic he was late and went off to school by himself with his rucksack," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Aachen. "You'd think the parents weren't looking after him, but that wasn't the case here."

Police found the boy as he was heading home after he discovered the school was still closed.

March 3, 2005

1500 vs 16,000 OR Who Decided Iraq Citizens are Worth 1/10 of American ones?

A headline running in many of today's papers reads "US Troop Deaths in Iraq Rise to 1,500". This announcement of the US death toll was made by the military this morning, and is apparently big news.

I'd like to reference the Iraq Body Count ( The website states that "In the current occupation phase this database includes all deaths which the Occupying Authority has a binding responsibility to prevent under the Geneva Conventions and Hague Regulations. This includes civilian deaths resulting from the breakdown in law and order, and deaths due to inadequate health care or sanitation." Since October 2001, a minimum of 16,123 civilians have been killed in Iraq. This is only REPORTED deaths, and are only civilian, non-combatant deaths, which means that any number of Iraqi troops may be added to this number.

How about we see something in the news about this? How about not placing the value of our soldiers lives over the value of innocent men, women & children living in Iraq? How about the simple idea of someone just admitting that even if we are 'helping' we are also hurting? After all, it doesn't matter if Iraq is a democracy or if Iraq is a free country if there is no one left to enjoy it.

March 2, 2005

Hotel Rwanda & Paul Rusesabagina

Last night Kira and I went and saw Paul Rusesabagina speak at Town Hall. It was pretty great. When he first walked out on stage, he received a lengthy standing ovation and I found myself near tears. I find it so overwhelming to just be in the same place, listening, hopefully gaining some kind of wisdom from people who are so good and have done things I can't imagine doing. I felt much the same way I felt when I saw the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu in Vancouver - it was overwhelming to think about them and have such an incredible experience.

I've been thinking about it and am interested in getting more involved with some kind of organizations helping the people in Africa. I don't really understand why that's a part of the world we don't pay much attention to. The same kind of genocide is happening in Sudan and other countries now, and the AIDS epidemic is orphaning 6000 children a day. There are 1/2 a million children left in Rwanda who lost their parents during the 100 days in 1994 when over 1 million Rwandans were killed. And I never even knew about the Rwanda thing until I heard of this movie. I think I'll do some research on the internet. It's hard to know what to do, but I know that there are things to do that can help, even if they are as small as giving what little money I can.

March 1, 2005


Okay... seriously. First off, it's not like the other girls were wearing actual gowns. It was a dickie and some fake pearls. Secondly, they are lucky that more people don't try to wear something else in their graduation pictures. I mean, do most schools even have this requirement anymore? Third, if she was not a lesbian would they have freaked out that much that she wore the tux? Fourth, if the tuxes were 'provided' that indicates that these pictures were taken at the school. Couldn't someone have said something about it AT THE TIME? Fifth, see first highlighted section. Dumbass. Sixth - her parents are cool. See 2nd highlighted section.

School board bans photo of lesbian in a tux

February 26, 2005

Larry Buhl, PlanetOut Network

SUMMARY: A Florida school board upheld a decision to ban a student's picture from a high school yearbook. The reason: the female student wore a tuxedo provided for the boys.

Davis, a lesbian straight-A student, claimed that she wore the tux because she was uncomfortable wearing the traditional gown-like drape and pearls the school provides for the girls.

"Hey if [a tux was] good enough for Sharon Stone and Sigourney Weaver, it was good enough for me," she said.

Davis denies the decision to ban her photo is based on her sexual orientation, however.

"There's a dress code to follow, a dress code expected for senior pictures in the yearbook and she chose not to follow them. It's just that simple," Owens said. The principal's original claim that the outfit violated yearbook tradition was shot down by students, who pointed out that the 2005 yearbook is the first for the new high school.

While tux-photo supporters call the school's decision narrow-minded, youth advocates suggest that it's also legally questionable.

In backing Principal Sam Ward's decision, the school board caused an unexpected firestorm in this affluent and growing suburb of Jacksonville. On Thursday, hundreds of residents showed up at the school board meeting, some to support "traditional female attire," but more came to condemn the board's decision. Some students even showed up in tuxedos as a sign of support for Davis. But Clay County Superintendent David Owens had the final word.

"Many court opinions state that gender-based dress codes violate students' rights," said Craig Bowman, executive director of the National Youth Advocacy Coalition. "Unless it's clearly vulgar dress or offensive in some way, courts are more often sympathetic to the rights of the student."

"Kelli is lucky to have parents that are so supporting," said Joshua Lamont, a spokesman for the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). "It would be even better if more schools would put policies in place to ensure freedom of expression. Decisions like this serve to marginalize LGBT students, when principals and administrators should be trying to break down those barriers."

Although Davis' parents have decided to skip a drawn-out legal fight -- which likely wouldn't be resolved until long after her graduation -- the picture will appear in the yearbook. Her parents paid $700 to publish an ad in the back of the yearbook featuring a picture of Davis in the offending tux.

Ending weeks of speculation but not controversy, Florida's Clay County School Board upheld a decision to ban a student's picture from the Fleming yearbook. The reason: Kelli Davis, 18, violated the school's dress code by having her senior class photo taken in a tuxedo provided for the boys.

Island High School

February 26, 2005

P. Diddy's Party Penguins

Thanks to Emmy for this daily tidbit of wonderment... I bet P. Diddy is pretty petrified at his penguin performance pissing off the PETA people. Poor Penguins.

Daily Hip-Hop News:
P. Diddy Peeves PETA Over Petrified Penguins
Thursday - February 24, 2005
by Carl Chery

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is upset with Sean "P. Diddy" Combs for recently hosting a South Beach party featuring live penguins as entertainment.

According to PETA, six penguins were put on a Plexiglas platform floating in a pool during the opening of South Beach's Hotel Victor last Friday. Partygoers told the New York Post's Page Six that the penguins grouped together in the corner of the platform in fear of slipping into the pool.

"The penguins were obviously bothered by the crowd and the loud music," an attendee told the Post. "They were all huddled into one corner facing away from everything, trying to get out. Many guests stared in shock, and others started yelling, 'Save the penguins!' It was a sad sight and a terrible idea."

According to PETA spokesman Michael McGraw, the use of penguins during hot weather possibly broke cruelty-to-animals laws.

"Penguins live in very cold climates, so the heat was probably unbearable for them. They're very sensitive to temperatures, so if it was as hot as we've heard, it's a wonder they didn't collapse," McGraw explained. "In any case, they were likely terrified. We are now looking into whether having the penguins there broke any cruelty-to-animals laws. We're asking anyone who was at the party to call us with any information."

Though PETA believes Diddy is responsible for the entertainment, Puff's publicist assured that the mogul was only hosting the fiesta and that the penguins weren't his idea.

"He had nothing to do with planning the party and nothing to do with the hotel," Rob Shuter, Combs' publicist revealed.

Diddy has had run-ins with PETA in the past. In 2001, the organization canceled a protest targeting his Sean John clothing line after Puff swore to remove fur from his collection.

"We sent him flowers and a vegan chocolate champagne bottle," McGraw shared. "And the next day, there was fur all over his runway. We were duped. We later named him to PETA's annual worst-dressed list."

Despite PETA's allegations, the Hotel Victor spokesman contends that the penguins were "warm-weather" species from South Africa "trained specifically for entertainment, expositions and television commercials. At the close of the event, the handlers notified us that the penguins were unaffected by the crowd, weather and the noise. We sincerely apologize if anyone was offended by this display."

February 25, 2005

Paul Rusesabagina

I just bought tickets for Kira and I to go see Paul Rusesabagina speak next Tuesday night! We went and saw "Hotel Rwanda" a few weeks ago, and I thought it was really good. Well, you know, good and horrifying at the same time. Anyway, I just happened across a website two days ago that mentioned he was going to be in Seattle and found out about the tickets and everything. I'm glad that Kira is going too. Maybe we'll have dinner at a good veggie restaurant around here beforehand.

In other news... TGIF. Yesterday I had a meeting with Jennifer at 1:00 and by 2:00 when we were done, I had hit a major wall. I think part of the reason was that she told me that in the room they are walling off in the back of our office, there will be some desks and Shane, Omari & I will be sharing the space (and maybe Jake). I don't know if it's good or bad, I like having a little privacy, but it's work, so it probably doesn't matter much. For some reason though, I felt drained after thinking about it. The only thing that kind of sucks is that there are these giant whiteboards stuck to the walls and for some reason they apparently can't remove them. Which means unless we are willing to stick tape to stuff, we won't be able to hang anything on the walls where those are. Anyhow, I was so tired for the rest of the day.

I left a little early since I got to work early yesterday but we had to babysit Seamus & Lorelai last night. Both of them were really great. Seamus is adorable. He also got his foot stuck in this child sized plastic shopping cart and was sort of dragging it around which was pretty funny. Also, I was holding him on my lap and he started saying 'buh' and waving his hand like he was saying 'bye'! It was crazy. Brooke said he just started doing it like Wednesday. It's kind of his first communicative gesture/word type thing. Exciting! In the meantime, Lorelai still loves Spongebob Squarepants (which I have now grown quite fond of as well...) and is of course, still super cute.